Saturday, July 24, 2010

Pump energy into everything you do together.


One of the best features of being in a relationship is that you always have support. There is always that special person their to pump you up. No matter what you are doing together it should feel like a date. Going to the grocery store, racking leaves, or cooking super should be a chance to enjoy each others company as well as getting chores done. There is a special bond between the two of you and it should create an amazing energy that you both get to enjoy. I know you know a couple that always seem to have fun together. Why not be that couple. The one person that you can count on and love can also be one of your best friends if not your best friend. Using your relationship to energize yourself is a wonderful way to keep that special bond between your partner and you. I know when I am away from my partner it is always a rush when I get to see them again. Use your partner as a spark plug and your relationship will stay vibrant for a long long time.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Push stuff you need to do alone until later.


One thing I think can benefit any relationship is taking time to be together during the evening. Don't spend your time tinkering in the garage or reading a book in the other room. Make it a point to spend good quality time together. Do your reading or tinkering after you have spent some quality time with each other. I suggest setting time right before bed for you to do your other interest of if your like me do it after my partner has gone to bed. The downfall of many relationships is when we stop enjoying being together. Growing apart while still in the same household is more common than you think. Snuggle down in a chair to watch something, play a game, get a great conversation started anything that will get you close and talking is a relationship builder. The important thing is you are spending quality time together and take the time to listen to what is going on in his/her life outside the house. You will find that he/she is still as interesting as when you were dating and you spent all your time focused on each other.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Who brought the negative energy in here?


The most wonderful place to feel safe and important is inside your relationship. You should feel protected and special within the realm of your our partners arms. Yet sometimes we bring negative energy into our relationship that can cause turmoil and struggles. Problems at work, struggles with our children, or just a tough drive home can cause us to dump our negative energy into our relationship. Once we do this then that negative energy starts gnawing on our passionate loving relationship. Think back have you ever let a bad day or bad situation outside your home effect your relationship. Have you ever been testy with your partner because you had one of these bad days? Is it fair that your partner should get the brunt of your feelings about that subject. While you should be able to air out your problems with your partner you should also drop it and and thankful to them for being their afterwards. Always remember that the love you have for each other is the best medicine for a stressful situation. Next time you come home with this feeling of negative energy try this. Wipe it off your feet on your door mat before you get in the house, make a conscience effort to not struggle with it during your time with the people you love the most. If you really feel you need to address the problem with your partner then ask them to step out side to discuss it. Them wipe it off your feet before you come in again. It is easy to dump all our baggage into our relationship because it is close to us and our major focus. However using your relationship as a dump for all the negative energy will soon find you wondering why your relationship is so negative.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Learn about your partners past if they will let you.


Most of us have events in our life that have shaped who we are and the reactions we have to things. Do you know those important things about your partner? Do you know why the won't touch alcohol or why they shy away from touch sometimes. Do you understand that sometimes they need a little extra to compensate for something that they missed as a child? These are things that don't just get expressed on your first few dates. These are deep dark secrets that take comfort and love to let someone else know. You are given a wonderful gift when they share these things with you and yet sometimes we don't know quite how to handle them. First and for most keep their confidence in you and don't go trying to fix it tomorrow. This baggage has formed over years and isn't about to go away with one little conversation about it. Don't get discouraged either know that when something is hidden away for long periods of time it forms it's own defense and won't be easily broken down. Things like sexual abuse, alcohol problems, emotional abuse are all things that can affect your relationship but are not going to be easily put to rest. Listening is your best friend, don't judge or offer answers right away let the person get it off their chest and mind. Be their friend and don't get defensive of them ask questions like "How did that make you feel?", or "How did you handle that?" be his/her rock at this point. Don't try to out do him/her even if you have had something happen in your opinion that was much worse. Focus on the pain that your partner is feeling at this point of them opening up. If the problem becomes a burden and starts affecting your relationship then maybe you might suggestion counseling. The point is they need your help but you cannot possibly know how they are feeling because you didn't live it. People will react differently to the same instance so their is no quick fix here. The best thing you can do is be supportive and give all your love to them. Picking up the pieces is hard work and trying to put the puzzle back together is even harder.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Are you putting enough time into your relationship????


Life is busy, with work, activities, commitments, children, and so many other things we sometimes take time away from the relationships that are most important in our life. Our partner and our children sometimes get the short end of the stick. Has this ever happened to you, crawling in bed your realize that it has been a week since you and your partner have made love or that you didn't even get to see the kids today. We can't go out and quite our jobs or forget about all the wonderful commitments we have but our relationships deserve so much more. We need to find balance in our life. We need to have an hour or more with out partner a night, finding time to enjoy them on a personal and physical level not only in important to them but to us also. If passion is missing in your bedroom then it will be missing in all other areas of your life. If friendship is missing your philanthropy will suffer. All our happiness starts with the love we have at home. Think about all the great things your partner does are you letting them know that you are grateful for those things or do you feel like they are expected to do them? If your life isn't perfect, you don't like your job, or you just seem stressed all the time then you need to do this. Put stock in your relationship, you will be amazed at how much a couple of hours a day can change your outlook not to mention your partners. In almost all relationship one partner or both feel unappreciated, do you want the person that you love the most to feel that way???

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Are you a Psychic? Sometimes your relationship will call for you to be one.


Have you ever had one of those days when you know something is not quite right with your partner. Maybe they are down in the dumps or just kinda shying away from everything. This is when you need to become a psychic. Most likely they are not going to come out and say what is bothering them, although that would make it much easier. Now is when you need to feel what they need. Do the need to be alone, do they need affection, could they use a good roll in the hay, everyone is different and in the situation might call for a different tactic. Last time they were in this state they might have wanted to be left alone, yet this time they might need a shoulder to cry on. The last thing you want to do is to ignore the situation. Acting like nothing is wrong is a sure way to say that you don't care. Even if they want to be alone the fact that you noticed they were upset is a good feeling. You will never be able to always do the right thing but you have to make the attempt. The better you know your partner the more psychic you will become and better able to call out which type of mood they are in.