Don't Listen To The Experts

You know there are so many experts out there on relationships.  However, the two best experts on your relationship are the two of you.  No one else can tell you exactly what you need to make you happy.  This my friends is up to the two of you.  What works for one couple will fail miserably for the next couple.  This is the beauty of the Blended Spirit in your relationship, each one is like a finger print.  Each one is unique and special in it's own way.  The couples that truly understand that their relationship isn't like everyone else's relationship is one step ahead of the others.  Value the individuality in your relationship and avoid trying to fit a mold of relationship.  

With that being said I also know that we can't see the things as clearly when we are in the midst of them.  That is why we turn to coaches or guides to help us uncover truths about ourselves, our partner and our relationship that we can't see on our own.  Don't wait until it is too late to discover amazing insight about your relationship.  

Photo : Aprad Nagy-Bagoly - Fotolia.com 

Pondering a Stranger

I wrote about this last spring and wanted share it here:

A few days ago, my husband and I took our youngest to a labyrinth.  He actually walked through to the center by following the path - of course, he will only be four years old next week so after reaching the center he took off skipping and laughing.  Ah, what a great time for him!

While we were there we encountered a woman we had never met before.  We all felt drawn to her for some reason.  Our young son walked over to her as my husband and I worked our way back out of the labyrinth.  He started a conversation with her.  It was quite precious.  As we exited the labyrinth we stopped to talk to her.  The area we currently live in is not very open to our spiritual path and/or beliefs; therefore we were amazed to encounter someone who was orgininally from our area, but who had spent 25+ years living in India on her own spiritual journey.  She spoke of many things we have interest in understanding better, inviting into our lives, and sharing with others.  Yet, our spiritual path includes many traditions from Huna to Buddhism to Christianity to Hinduism to Native American and beyond.  

Will we see her again?  I am unsure.  But, the gift her presence gave us that day was simply her telling us, "I am so glad you are here."  I am not sure we believe she means "here" to be the location we are in so much as that we are "here" alive in this time and sharing our experiences, knowledge and love with others.

This amazing, yet eccentric, woman has a project in our community she has started where she captures feral cats, has them spayed or neutered, then returns them to where she found them.  She is trying to keep the streets of our town from being overrun with stray cats - yet, she does not want to see these creatures have their lives taken.  They should have the chance to live out their lives just like you and I.

So, ponder today....what might you learn from an encounter with a stranger?...do you allow others to live their lives?...how do you give back to your community?...what can make you smile today?

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Photo by Kavita

Happy Birthday, My Love

Today is a very special day, it is the day that my partner, friend, and love was born.  I know we celebrate birthdays every year with cake and presents.  This year however, I want to appreciate the beautiful woman in my life for being so strong during the past few years.  Our life hasn't been a bed of roses, but the one thing that has been wonderful these past couple of years has been the love we share.  If the moon was mine to give, it would have a huge bow on it tonight with the simple words, "Thank You, Janelle" written on the card.   

**My dear adoring sweet love,

Thank you for this beautiful post.  I love you so much.  

-Janelle

They'll Never Make It in Time!

These are two firemen in Germany!  Holy cow!!  I hope they aren't on a fire run.  They will never make it in time.  Where is the ladder?  Where is the hose?  For that matter, where is the water?

I have no idea what these two were actually up to, but maybe they decided they needed a break from all the hectic run, run, run.  So, they grabbed their fire-engine red bicycles and took off on a leisurely ride -- in their fire gear!  I guess they are semi-prepared.

So, how can I relate this crazy post to relationships today?  Hmmm.....

Leaving behind the screaming sirens (all the noise that fills our lives - sometimes coming from our kids), taking it slow - yet getting exercise, and moseying along a quiet path together.  Sounds pretty good if you take it out of context.  So leave the stress and your troubles behind (yet, stay somewhat prepared -- i.e. your fire suit) and go spend some time alone with your partner.  If it has been a while since you have spent "alone time" together, things just might heat up and you just might start a fire ;-)

-Janelle

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Photo by © jörn buchheim - Fotolia.com

Be Honest When You Need to Be

     Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and be honest with your partner about things that might be hurtful to them.  If your partner is a really bad dancer, like Elaine from the Seinfeld show, in the above clip, you owe it to them to let them know.  Allowing them to make a fool of themselves will only make it harder later - unless your partner is okay with being the fool.  In the case above, Elaine thinks she is a great dancer and if someone would have told her even though it might have stung a little it, would have helped her avoid being made fun of later by her co-workers.

      This type of honesty is hard to bring to a relationship because you don't want to hurt the feelings of the person you love so much.  However, it would be better for them to hear it from you than to become the butt of all the jokes later.   It is better to hurt their feelings a little now, than have their feelings smashed later.  Heck it might even lead to the two of you taking dance lessons together - without the kicks and the thumbs :)

-- Rob

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Get Grounded - Together

A couple of posts back I asked if you or your partner are addicted to the Internet?  I also suggested that you put away your phones, computers, and other gadgets and head outside to spend some time in nature with your partner.  

I am reminding you of this today!  The exact location doesn't matter, but set aside some time for you and your partner to spend some time in nature.  You could spend time in a park, the woods, by a pond, or just your back yard.  If you live in the middle of the city, you can still get outside and soak up the sun (even through clouds) and the breeze.  Take off your shoes and feel the Earth beneath your feet.  Sit down on the grass or a log....connect with Mother Earth.  My previous post had a picture of a couple on the beach, which is a wonderful place to connect with the Earth, but if you go back and look at it, you will understand why I used it in that particular post.  

When we get too wrapped up in technology and in our heads instead of our hearts we can feel scattered and chaotic.  Reconnecting with the Earth will ground you.  I posted about this again so soon because it really is vitally important for us as beings on this planet.  We need this individually and with our partners.  If you have children, parents, pets, dear friends, arrange time to do this with them, too or at least recommend this to them!  

Namaste dear ones, 

Janelle

Photo by © JeremyWhat - Fotolia.com

Relationship Reboot

When is the last time you rebooted your relationship!  When did you last take inventory of all the wonderful and fascinating things about your partner?  You know he/she is constantly changing and growing just like you and so is your relationship.  If you think your relationship is exactly the same as it was a year ago, you are very very wrong.  Take some time today and think about how your partner and relationship have evolved.  Then give your beloved a great big kiss and thank him/her for all those wonderful things you were just thinking about.

Photo : Complot - Fotolia.com