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Space The Final Frontier (In Relationships)

Space The Final Frontier (In Relationships)

This is one of the hardest concepts for me personally to get a grasp of - when the words, "I need some space" come up.  Sure we all need some time for ourselves now and then.  However, I am talking about when this comes up during a heated discussion.  Only within the last few years have I grown to understand this.  It is not that the other person wants to get away from his/her partner (well, maybe), but it is that he/she needs to step away from the situation or discussion.  He/she needs time to run things through his/her head without outside forces trying to explain it.   The so-called space needed isn't about negativity - it is about understanding.  You or your partner may need time to sort out the situation and come up with the best solution.  

Next time you get into a heated discussion maybe you both could just grab some space and then reconvene and calmly discuss it with cooler heads.  Space might be the final frontier, but it can also be a nice place to get yourself back into rational thinking.  

-Rob-

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Photo from Creative Commons

Sacred Contract or A Poker Hand?

Okay, today I am going to share with you some of my views as to whether or not we come into this life with a sacred contract (a plan) or if we are simply dealt a hand of cards and we get what we get.  I do not find it necessary for others to agree with my views.  What is important is what resonates with you and what feels right to you.  Well all different paths to follow.  With that being said, here goes:

I have sensed somewhere inside of me that we do come here with a purpose - a blueprint, if you will, that can be altered as we live this life.  I don't believe that it is set in stone per se, but I believe it is devised as a guideline to the lessons and experiences that may appear in this life.  Whether or not we choose to learn from the lessons is another matter completely -- the ego may well lead us in a different direction than our Soul.  

But, isn't that part of the lesson on this journey - learning how to integrate the ego self and the authentic self to a point that we can trust in the authentic self and listen to our inner voices and the call of our Soul and of Spirit?  

My perception is that it is possible (ah, the anything is possible question again) that we "meet" with members of our spiritual family and with members of a "council" and go over the things we experienced in previous lives and what we need to achieve or experience in the next incarnation so that we "pass" the class.  

If we fail a required class in school, we must retake it before we can take other courses or move onto a higher level.  For me, it feels similar to our incarnations.  When we sign up for a course in school, we most likely only have a brief summary and overview of what that class is about - unless we have taken the class before.  We may be surprised by what we learn or are supposed to learn in the class.  

And, in fact, we may find ourselves in class thinking, "What the hell am I doing here?  This isn't what I signed up for!  Who are these people?  They aren't my friends!"  Then maybe we switch classes or we somehow get through that one and take a different one where we think, "Thank God!  All of my friends are here!  This is the stuff I like to study and I understand it." 

I certainly don't believe that the slate is wiped clean and we get a fresh start each time.  And, I don't think that we can just blissfully write up a new sacred contract or new blueprint during this life.  Human life is not a joy ride and by choosing to take it on we choose to go through deep spiritual work - whether or not we know it. 

Love to all of you,

Janelle

Photo from Creative Commons - Darrell Lew

Rob and I don't agree on all aspects :) We talk about this in a 15 minute radio episode.

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This is Not Your Grandparents' Relationship

Relationships are not what they used to be!  

A number of years ago, parents selected who their children would marry.  This actually still happens in some cultures.  Also, in years past marriages were not focused on love and emotional intimacy.  They were comprised of convenience, financial gain, proposed security, and creating a relationship that would ultimately support the overall family and community.  It didn't matter if the marriage was a happy one or not.  The husband and wife would stay together because that was what was expected of them.  

In American culture, as well as a number of other cultures, this had begun to change over the past few generations.  Married couples do not necessarily live just over the hill from their parents and other family members.  Nowadays, many couples live thousands of miles from other family members.  And, blissful love has become the goal of couples.  Another factor for some relationships that has only recently begun to be acceptable in some communities is same-sex committed relationships.  

No matter whether it is a heterosexual relationship or a same-sex relationship the ultimate goal is unconditional love, close emotional intimacy, passion, trust, and the fairy-tale happily-ever-after concept.  

Sorry - but there are no fairy tale endings.  Relationships are work.  They are in fact an opportunity to grow expansively emotionally and spiritually.  The key is to recognize this fact and come to understand that relationships are a spiritual path.  For your growth and your partner's growth to happen though you must be conscious of this possibility.  

This is a huge topic and not one I can do justice in a short post, but I hope in a few paragraphs that I have given you something to think about. :)   And, of course we will share more about this in our short radio show that you will be able to listen to (after the show airs and we place it below).  

Love you,

Janelle

Listen to internet radio with The Relationship Guides on Blog Talk Radio

Photo from Creative Commons - cassandra204

Is Your Partner a Workaholic or are You?

Marie Forleo is so very funny :)  She really lets her true self shine through.  And, in this video she shares some great steps to help your relationship when one or both of you work All the Freaking Time.

We often share these same tips (though in different words :)) .... so we wanted to share this clip with you today!

Love ya,
Janelle

Listen to internet radio with The Relationship Guides on Blog Talk Radio

Flowers Your Tool For Excitement

Flowers are wonderful in a relationship.  Bringing flowers home to your love or having the setting on the table or around the house are great ways to show the love that is in your home.  However, flowers can be much more exciting than just setting on the table.  Covering your bed with flower petals is romantic and is a very sensual sign.  Sneaking in and dropping a few flower petals into your lover's bath expresses a love and gives a virtual caress of love.  Even getting out and planting flowers together in your yard is a sign of beauty that will grow and can be a symbol of your love.  

Combined, the two of you can get a small bundle of flowers and hand one out to each couple you see holding hands in the park telling them you appreciate the beauty they are putting in the world.  Flowers are a gift from nature and we should use this beauty to spread not only the love in our relationship, but also the love in our world also.  

--Rob

Photo by VladGavriloff at Fotolia.com 

FREE HUGS....What? Have you seen this?

If you haven't seen this, you should.  And, if you have seen it, then it is still well worth the 3 1/2 minutes to watch it again!

Hugs,
Janelle

Listen to internet radio with The Relationship Guides on Blog Talk Radio