Sacred Contract or A Poker Hand?

Okay, today I am going to share with you some of my views as to whether or not we come into this life with a sacred contract (a plan) or if we are simply dealt a hand of cards and we get what we get.  I do not find it necessary for others to agree with my views.  What is important is what resonates with you and what feels right to you.  Well all different paths to follow.  With that being said, here goes:

I have sensed somewhere inside of me that we do come here with a purpose - a blueprint, if you will, that can be altered as we live this life.  I don't believe that it is set in stone per se, but I believe it is devised as a guideline to the lessons and experiences that may appear in this life.  Whether or not we choose to learn from the lessons is another matter completely -- the ego may well lead us in a different direction than our Soul.  

But, isn't that part of the lesson on this journey - learning how to integrate the ego self and the authentic self to a point that we can trust in the authentic self and listen to our inner voices and the call of our Soul and of Spirit?  

My perception is that it is possible (ah, the anything is possible question again) that we "meet" with members of our spiritual family and with members of a "council" and go over the things we experienced in previous lives and what we need to achieve or experience in the next incarnation so that we "pass" the class.  

If we fail a required class in school, we must retake it before we can take other courses or move onto a higher level.  For me, it feels similar to our incarnations.  When we sign up for a course in school, we most likely only have a brief summary and overview of what that class is about - unless we have taken the class before.  We may be surprised by what we learn or are supposed to learn in the class.  

And, in fact, we may find ourselves in class thinking, "What the hell am I doing here?  This isn't what I signed up for!  Who are these people?  They aren't my friends!"  Then maybe we switch classes or we somehow get through that one and take a different one where we think, "Thank God!  All of my friends are here!  This is the stuff I like to study and I understand it." 

I certainly don't believe that the slate is wiped clean and we get a fresh start each time.  And, I don't think that we can just blissfully write up a new sacred contract or new blueprint during this life.  Human life is not a joy ride and by choosing to take it on we choose to go through deep spiritual work - whether or not we know it. 

Love to all of you,

Janelle

Photo from Creative Commons - Darrell Lew

Rob and I don't agree on all aspects :) We talk about this in a 15 minute radio episode.

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This is Not Your Grandparents' Relationship

Relationships are not what they used to be!  

A number of years ago, parents selected who their children would marry.  This actually still happens in some cultures.  Also, in years past marriages were not focused on love and emotional intimacy.  They were comprised of convenience, financial gain, proposed security, and creating a relationship that would ultimately support the overall family and community.  It didn't matter if the marriage was a happy one or not.  The husband and wife would stay together because that was what was expected of them.  

In American culture, as well as a number of other cultures, this had begun to change over the past few generations.  Married couples do not necessarily live just over the hill from their parents and other family members.  Nowadays, many couples live thousands of miles from other family members.  And, blissful love has become the goal of couples.  Another factor for some relationships that has only recently begun to be acceptable in some communities is same-sex committed relationships.  

No matter whether it is a heterosexual relationship or a same-sex relationship the ultimate goal is unconditional love, close emotional intimacy, passion, trust, and the fairy-tale happily-ever-after concept.  

Sorry - but there are no fairy tale endings.  Relationships are work.  They are in fact an opportunity to grow expansively emotionally and spiritually.  The key is to recognize this fact and come to understand that relationships are a spiritual path.  For your growth and your partner's growth to happen though you must be conscious of this possibility.  

This is a huge topic and not one I can do justice in a short post, but I hope in a few paragraphs that I have given you something to think about. :)   And, of course we will share more about this in our short radio show that you will be able to listen to (after the show airs and we place it below).  

Love you,

Janelle

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Photo from Creative Commons - cassandra204

Is Your Partner a Workaholic or are You?

Marie Forleo is so very funny :)  She really lets her true self shine through.  And, in this video she shares some great steps to help your relationship when one or both of you work All the Freaking Time.

We often share these same tips (though in different words :)) .... so we wanted to share this clip with you today!

Love ya,
Janelle

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Flowers Your Tool For Excitement

Flowers are wonderful in a relationship.  Bringing flowers home to your love or having the setting on the table or around the house are great ways to show the love that is in your home.  However, flowers can be much more exciting than just setting on the table.  Covering your bed with flower petals is romantic and is a very sensual sign.  Sneaking in and dropping a few flower petals into your lover's bath expresses a love and gives a virtual caress of love.  Even getting out and planting flowers together in your yard is a sign of beauty that will grow and can be a symbol of your love.  

Combined, the two of you can get a small bundle of flowers and hand one out to each couple you see holding hands in the park telling them you appreciate the beauty they are putting in the world.  Flowers are a gift from nature and we should use this beauty to spread not only the love in our relationship, but also the love in our world also.  

--Rob

Photo by VladGavriloff at Fotolia.com 

FREE HUGS....What? Have you seen this?

If you haven't seen this, you should.  And, if you have seen it, then it is still well worth the 3 1/2 minutes to watch it again!

Hugs,
Janelle

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Plastic Easter Eggs

Why should kids have all the fun hunting easter eggs?  They shouldn't.  You can have fun too.

You can use this fun experience to enhance your relationship.  You can fill those plastics eggs with things adults will like also.  Then hide them for your lover around your bedroom.  They could simply have kisses in them with the expectations of each chocolate kiss found nets a real kiss later.  You can put sexy things inside that the two of you can use later for a little intimate play.  One of my favorite things to do is to place love notes in each egg for your partner to read as they find them.  Those notes could read something like, candy in this egg because I couldn't find anything sweeter than YOU!", "This egg is full of love - can you feel it?" or "Inside this egg is eggsactly what I want you to wear later...NOTHING!"  If you are creative, this easter egg hunt could be the most amazing your partner has ever experienced.  

So when you go out to get plastic eggs for your children this year make sure to pick up a pack for your love also.  Doesn't he/she deserve a visit from the Easter Bunny, too?

--Rob

Photo from Creative Commons

You Want Him to be Mr. Right

Yes, I know we all want the perfect man or the perfect woman.  We look and look and look and many of us date and date and date.  Then we think we have found him or her.  After a few months or a few years instead of Mr. Right we wake up to this:

Oops!  Okay, so he isn't Mr. Perfect.  But, does that really make him Mr. Wrong?  Oh, and this is most certainly not just about his body.  The longer we are with someone the more of his/her faults we can uncover.  And, mind you, he/she will also see more of our faults.  We all carry baggage in one way or another.  

It is very important to remember that the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side of the fence though!  Accepting our partner with unconditional love is what should be at the core of our relationships.  Unconditional love will allow a stable foundation of trust, respect and appreciation to be built upon it.  

So, the next time you are feeling really upset with your partner and start to wonder if he/she is really the right one (no matter how long you have been together) stop and be really honest with yourself.  Is there unconditional love from you and from your partner?  If not, then with some willingness and work from both of you, it is possible to find it.  If you or your partner is not willing to develop that kind of love between you, then you just might be right and he/she is Mr./Ms. Wrong after all.  Only you can make that determination.  

--Janelle

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Photos from Fotolia.com - 1130176 & 11307881

The Importance Of The Good Night Kiss

In relationships, one of the things that can be very beneficial to your relationship is the way you end the night.  As you are lying in bed ready to drift off to sleep you must remember a very important part of your relationship, the good night kiss.  It is my feeling that this is an important way to end your day.  It is a Taoist belief that this kiss and touch is a way of connecting your energy and making your love stronger.  

Sure sometimes you just want to hit the bed and sleep, but the few moments it takes to lean over, kiss your partner and touch him/her in a loving way is much more valuable than the few seconds of sleep you lose.  If you have gotten away from the good night kiss, it isn't too late to start doing it again.  All you have to do is ask.  If you are the one being asked, then take it as a wonderful compliment and make sure to do your part.  

Remember your first good night kiss and the energy it brought to you!  Why can't every night end that way?  Only you can answer that question.

--Rob

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Photo from Fotolia.com 

Are You Sorry?

We are all wrong sometimes.  At some point or another every one of us will hurt our partners - intentionally or not.  The key is knowing how to admit we were wrong and how to say we are sorry.

Apologizing can be one of the hardest things to do for some people.  In fact, even admitting to yourself that you are wrong may be very difficult and then actually being able to say that may be exceptionally difficult.  Yet, when we make a mistake we need to be able to own up to it for our partner's sake as well as for ourselves.  

So, if you realize you are wrong, say you are sorry .... come from the heart and admit it to yourself and to your love.

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Photo from Creative Commons - Luca Vanzella
Video from YouTube - major1854

Creating a Mood or Changing a Mood

When you take the time to create a mood in a room, that action can change the mood of your partner.  Say for example your partner has had a hard day at work and is coming home carrying anger from the day.  If he/she walks in and sees a setting like the above photo his/her mood might just change instantly.  The warm lights accompanied by the vision of items that insure that there will be a lot of touch and passion later can break that hard exterior your partner is carrying home.

Creating these moods is easy.  Make sure the lighting is soft, the objects are sensual and your demeanor is one of comfort and love.  To stay on top of when you need to create or change a mood stay in contact with your partner during the day.  Text or call each other and express what is going on during the day if possible.  Having a jump on a bad mood is essential to being able to change it.

-Rob

Today's radio show was a bit off topic, but we had a lot of laughs.  Listen now (only 15 minutes) and hopefully, you will get a laugh too :)

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