What to do when things are going bad!

Never discuss problems in the bedroom, they should never enter your thoughts when you in this area that is designated for love.

What do you do as a couple when things are going bad in your life. These things can make it tense in your relationship and can even cause problems, which is the last things the two of you need. When things get tough the one thing you need to do as a couple is pull together. Make your relationship the rock in your rocky world right now. No matter what is going on in your life, being able to come home and be comforted and able to leave all the stress at the door is a big plus. No matter if it's problems at work, troubles with your parents, or even financial troubles. Make it a point to talk about them outside of the house and leave them their when you come back in through the door. Go out to eat and discuss your troubles over a meal,or go to the park and find a bench somewhere, or you can even just take a drive to discuss the situation. No matter what it is get it all out and talk about it before you come back home. Once home put your focus into being the couple that you are, support each other and make sure to layer on the love and affection for each other. Make your home the safe haven it should be for the two of you.

Are you repaying your partners favors?

Do you remember last week when you partner dropped everything to help you out? Did you ever repay that favor? So many times in our busy life we forget to really thank the person we love for helping us out. Maybe it was a massage or taking the kids to give you some quite time. No matter what the favor you need to make the effort to thank them for it. Make your repayment something that they enjoy and wouldn't expect you to do. Maybe cook them their favorite dinner or give them a wonderful massage. Maybe you could find a movie that they have been wanting to watch or wear that lingerie that you have just thrown in the drawer. If you don't repay these favors you might find yourself not getting them in the future. Keep the balance close of the amount of favors you do for each other and neither one of you will ever feel unappreciated. When we do favors we do not expect repayment but it goes without saying that it should be a mandate. Thank them often for being their for you and they always will be.

Aggressiveness!

In our relationship our love life is important. We all want our sex life to be the way we want it. What happens when both partners want to the aggressor in your sex life. How can you balance this without one person feeling like they are not getting their turn to be the hunter? This also comes into play in other areas of your relationship, when you have two dominate personalities that clash when you have to step back and let the other partner be the aggressor. First of all, this is not a situation that is hopeless, you just have to learn to take turns and let the other person have their chance to feel they are in control. If this is a problem in your sex live then you need to make some agreements to make both of you happy. I would suggest using some light bondage and taking turns being the one tied up. Get an under the bed restraining system that hides neatly under your mattress and start to enjoy when it is your turn to be aggressive. Always make sure to have your safe words in place so you can stop if the situation gets to intense. When it is your turn to be the aggressor then make sure to use it to satisfy your cravings of being in control and respect your partner when it is their turn. It might seem a little silly but using this bondage switch off might just help you in other areas of your relationship. Maybe then the two of you won't but heads so much.

Avoid the Excuse trap.

Excuses are our way out of things, they give us justifiable reasons not to do things. However some times we go to the excuse mill way to many times. Instead of stepping up we find an excuse to help us avoid the task. We can easily fall into the excuse trap and it is ever so true in a relationship. When we are dating we would use excuses to call the person we couldn't get off our minds. As our relationship progresses we use them to avoid things we don't want to deal with. Next time your partner asks you to do something, make it a point to avoid the excuses and say yes. They might ask you if you want to go out for the evening, and if they do don't recoil and think of why you don't want to. Think about the reasons to say yes. Life can pass us by pretty quickly and if you are constantly putting things off soon you will find yourself regretting all the things you made excuses for. So, take that hand in hand walk, go see that movie, take showers together, and make love into the late hours. This way when the day is done and you look back you won't be saying I wish I would have done that!!!!

Use intimacy to cure the blues.

I am not a big fan of using intimacy as a reward. I don't think anyone in a serious relationship should have to complete a task or chore to receive the intimacy they deserve. Unless you are using it as a role play situation and both partners are participating. You can check out our back post on sexual payment for chores if you are interested in that.

Intimacy or sex, is one of the great mood changers in any relationship. The passion and the feeling can instantly change a persons outlook on a situation. Think about how relaxed you are after sex? You mind becomes more open and it allows you to rationalize much better. This might not work for everyone, well I believe it can work for everyone if you will open up to it. The person has to be willing to allow it to happen for it to be successful. When you see your partner hitting the blues then it is your chance to be the aggressor. Don't grab them by the hand and lead them to the bedroom saying, "You need some sex" Instead coax them into it. Touch them in a sensual manner, wear things that look good, treat them a little extra special, and snuggle up next to them. Show them that his is not only for them but for you also. You satisfaction will not only come from the intimacy but also from the knowledge that you are helping them out of their funk.

Intimacy is a great gift that we are given. We can use it to help us out or to hurt us. Helpful intimacy can allow men and women to move mountains, while hurtful intimacy only tears those mountains down.

Make a savings goal.

As a couple one of the most important things you can do is make a savings goal. Maybe you want to take an awesome vacation, or purchase new patio furniture. Anything that is not a normal purchase would be a great thing to save for. You can put money in a jug or dedicate so much from each pay check to reach the goal. Keep a tote board up in your house to show how close you are to reaching your goal. Make sure to keep the money safe and in a hard to get place so that you don't just get into it anytime you desire something. Once you finally reach your goal then you can celebrate by purchasing the thing that both of your desire. When picking your treasure make sure to pick something the both of you can use. Don't pick a big screen tv for him to watch the games on and don't pick a new vanity table for her to get ready in the morning. Sharing is one of the secrets to staying healthy as a couple. Not to mention the rewards are so much sweeter when you have someone to enjoy them with. Start stocking back the change now I think I hear Hawaii calling the two of you.

One year of helping couples!

Today marks the one year anniversary of The Couples Spot helping people better their relationships. Our passion is still very deep on this subject and we are looking to branch out more in the coming years. Things such as spirituality and new ways to be erotic with your partner as well as manage the daily activities are essential to us as well as you. We would love to get more input from out viewers. We are anxious to bring out some print books in the coming year to help build better relationship, we also have a cutting edge fun and exciting game to build intimacy in your relationship. The future is wide open for us and for you also. One thing that will never change is that people are going to want to have help with their relationships. Every single one of us at some time or another needs to talk or get advice that will help us get through difficult times. I hope that we hear at The Couples Spot can be some of that support for you. Every question no matter how small or big is important so send us your dilemmas and we will give you our perspective on your question. You can email us at thecouplesspot@gmail.com Thank you for all the support and we look forward to the many more years of helping.