A great time to make love!

One of our favorite times to make love is right when before the sun starts to set. We love the lighting it gives in our room. It acts as candle light letting you see and enjoy each others images but doesn't make you feel like your the center attraction at the circus. It allows you the freedom to see your sexy partner and watch them casually get ready to make love to you. You can also use the light as a timer. Make a deal to have foreplay until the light either reaches a certain point in the room or is no longer existent. This works create to help a partner that might be a little shy about being viewed because then once darkness hits they feel more comfortable. This might sound a little strange but for my partner and I it also allows us to get up and talk or get a snack or drink afterwards. We use this time to connect which right after sex there is no yearning or desire for physical intimacy. It allows you to focus on the mental side of intimacy which is very nice also.

Depending on your household situation you might have a little trouble starting love making at this time of day/night. Children and neighbors might create an issue as you attempt this amazing ritual. Good locks and shear curtains can go a long way in the pursuit of making love as the sun sets. You can also plan an overnight stay for your young ones at grandma's house. You could also take turns with other couples with children the same age so you both have the opportunity to enjoy a little uninterrupted alone time. Making love right before you drift off to sleep is fantastic, too. However, I would suggest you try a little sunset love and see how you like it.

Use intimacy to cure the blues.

I am not a big fan of using intimacy as a reward. I don't think anyone in a serious relationship should have to complete a task or chore to receive the intimacy they deserve. Unless you are using it as a role play situation and both partners are participating. You can check out our back post on sexual payment for chores if you are interested in that.

Intimacy or sex, is one of the great mood changers in any relationship. The passion and the feeling can instantly change a persons outlook on a situation. Think about how relaxed you are after sex? You mind becomes more open and it allows you to rationalize much better. This might not work for everyone, well I believe it can work for everyone if you will open up to it. The person has to be willing to allow it to happen for it to be successful. When you see your partner hitting the blues then it is your chance to be the aggressor. Don't grab them by the hand and lead them to the bedroom saying, "You need some sex" Instead coax them into it. Touch them in a sensual manner, wear things that look good, treat them a little extra special, and snuggle up next to them. Show them that his is not only for them but for you also. You satisfaction will not only come from the intimacy but also from the knowledge that you are helping them out of their funk.

Intimacy is a great gift that we are given. We can use it to help us out or to hurt us. Helpful intimacy can allow men and women to move mountains, while hurtful intimacy only tears those mountains down.

Talk dirty sometimes

We all know that some people like to talk dirty during the throws of passion. It is perfectly normal and accepted. On occasion however, you can bring it out of the bedroom for it's shock value. I don't condone using it casually but at certain times it can be a really effective tool in getting what you want. For instance if you partner is watching sports most likely into the game and not much will get their attention. Now if you walk up and whisper in their ear "Will you please come F**K me" I am sure you will draw their attention away from whatever they are watching. You don't even have to speak the word to make them effective. Say you out at dinner and you find your partner looking very attractive, carefully scribble on a napkin some naughty words and slip it to them across the table. You might see them searching for the waiter to get the check as quickly as possible. Don't use this method to often, as it will lose it's appeal if you go the well to many times. Have fun with it and I am sure you partner will appreciate it, also.

Sexual Wonder Drug - W-A-T-E-R-

I just currently found out how important water is to our sexual health. From helping to create lubrication to the fluids we release during orgasm. Not to mention the importance of it for the activity of sex itself and to keep us hydrated during the motions. Obviously water is essential to our everyday life but water can also help your sexual stamina and can even help in getting you in the mood. The article I read suggested you treat your sexual experiences like an exercise. Drinking plenty of water before and after the intimacy. This is claimed to help you enjoy your sex better as well as help you rejuvenate faster to give you a chance at that second and third try during the evening. Encourage your parter to partake of the water consumption also and see how it effects your sex life. Our bodies are built to enjoy sexual activities and when you add water into the mix you can enjoy sex a whole lot more.

The Waterboy, staring Adam Sandler now takes on a whole new meaning!!!!

Mood Music

We can tell a lot about the way our partner is feeling by the type of music they are listening to. It takes a little study but you will start to learn how they react to certain types of music. Is the music up tempo or slow and methodical? Is what they are listening to making them get up and dance or are they just sitting listening to the words of the song. Maybe they are listening to the blues because they are sad or down in the dumps, or they could just like the blues. You need to start cataloging what type of music they are listening to and their emotions. For instance if every time they are listening to some funky disco music they seem to be dancing around having a good time, then make a note of it. However if they are sitting listening to some country song, drinking beer and in a down in the dumps mood, make a note of it. Go as far as to write down specific songs and seem to get them pumped up or feeling good. Then the next time they are having a bad day, slip on one of those songs that made them feel good at a different time and see if it improves their mood. This is one of those simple little things you do for the person you love, get to know them and how the music effects them. They may not make the connection but you will know the real reason you put that song on for them is because you love them.

When sex isn't an option use your hands!

There are times in your relationship that you might not be able or care to have sex, and that is quite alright. What happens when your partner wants to enjoy a little intimacy and for what ever reason you don't want to. Well that is why god gave your hands, among many other reasons. You can use your hands to pleasure your partner now matter if your man or woman. There are many different techniques, methods, and even toys to help you in the pursuit. Remember just because you are not in the mood or feeling like it doesn't mean your partner should have to suffer or resist their urges. Handjobs are the obvious answer to anyone and you can give them to males and females alike. The book Red Hot Touch in our Amazon side bar is a great read for learning more about this type of enjoyment. Oral sex is another option that most people enjoy receiving and can be quite as nice as any other form of sex. Today they are also many toys that can be used to achieve satisfaction and can be use by or on your partner. Masturbators for men and vibrators and dildos for women are great tool to get your partner off when you just don't feel like it. The important part is being together, if your really don't feel like assisting in any matter then tell them you would love to watch them pleasure themselves and at least the two of you are together instead of in the other room away from each other during orgasm. Don't doom your partner to sexless nights because you are not in the mood both of you are important parts to this relationship and both your feelings are important. So instead of saying, "No way" to your eager partner find another way to excite them, that way both of your needs get met.

Above is a picture of the Tenga Egg the newest technology in masturbation for men.

Moods Swings... they happen.

You know how everything is going along great and then something happens to change your partners mood. They go from being a calm loving person to a cold and harsh person. We as their partner have to understand that they cannot possibly be in a good mood all the time and these things will happen from time to time. What we need to watch is how often they are happening. If it is a daily occurrence or a lot more often then normal, we might need to do some digging. Think of things outside the house that might not be seen by you. Things that are going on a work seem to be a big cause of this discomfort in your partner. They so often want to shelter us from their problems at work, as they feel it is not our problem. When this happen you need to put your listening skills to the test. Don't offer suggestions or ways they can correct the problem unless they ask you. Listen and listen some more, most likely getting things out in the open and off their chest will help as much as anything. The last thing you want to do is try to correct them during this time as then they feel you are against them, too. The best help you can be with these problems that swing your partners mood is to listen and be the shoulder to lean on. Sure sometimes you just want your happy person back but to get them back you need to help them get through whatever is bothering them.

Research how scents affect your relationship

Scents are a powerful thing and you never know exactly how someone will act to a certain scent. I want to suggest you do a little research on the subject in your relationship. Get some different scented candles and have them burning with your partner comes home. Log down their mood and how they act throughout the night, then change the scent the next time. Get 7 different candles and try a different scent each day then repeat the cycle the next week. Do this for one month then look over your log book to see if you see any similarities. Maybe the smell of lavender puts your partner in a mellow mood where they just want to relax, or maybe the smell of cinnamon makes your partner a little frisky. To test your scent findings switch things up. If you partner comes home in a bad mood choose the scent that made them the most relaxed and see how they react to the scent. Do they calm down or does it have no effect. You might just find that the scents will help you set a mood for your time together. If you find a scent that makes your partner in just the mood you enjoy then you better take stock in that company and buy all the candles in that scent you can find.

Too stressed for sex? You are only hurting yourself.

Stress can effect several things in your relationship. One of them being your sex life. However letting stress dampen you sex life actually is a double edged sword. Sex is considered a stress reliever so what better way to relieve stress then to have sex. Sex releases happy chemicals into your body that helps you relax as well as welcome sleep, this in turn helps your body become stronger. All of these things help you combat stress. Several professionals suggest taking steps to get yourself in the mood. If you click on the title of this post you will go to a list of some things that help your libido.

Bypassing sex because of stress is a no win situation. On the other hand putting a little effort into your sex life can help reduce this stress greatly. You and your partner will both benefit from the effort you put into your sex life. Now quite making excuses and start working toward getting rid of that stress by having some great sex. You relationship will thank you.