Oral Sex Makes for Happy Sex!

Believe it or not but some couples have never had oral sex? Yes this is true and I am not knocking them but I wonder, WHY? Oral sex is a great way to break up the routine of your sex life plus it is one of the greatest ways to increase your foreplay. You can both take turns performing oral sex on each other or enjoy it at the same time. There are many books on the subject out there with great techniques and ideas to make in mind blowing. Maybe you are a little scared and I understand that but get over that hump and a magical kingdom awaits you and your partner. Oral sex is a great way to extend your sexual intimacy and bring you closer together. There is not reason you cannot partake in oral sex, what ever you problem is there is a solution. The best way to find out what works best for you is for you both to use the trial and error method. Communicate what feels good and what doesn't. Maybe you don't like talking during intimacy and if that is the case set up signals for each other. Tell you partner you will start rubbing their head if it feels good and that you will cough if it doesn't those are simple signs that can't be mistaken. I recently listen to a podcast on the subject and the trend is that oral sex is now considered part of a normal round of intimacy. That means if your not experiencing or enjoying oral sex you are missing the boat. I am throwing you a life jacket grab it slip it on and start pleasuring your lover and let them pleasure you in an oral manner.

Just drop it all and go to dinner

Have you ever had a day when the kids are driving you nuts your stuck in the house and you are ready to just loose it? I am sure most of us have had those days. It's not like we don't love our kids or that the stress of life is really that different then any other day. It's just a break down in strength. When this happens you need to fall back on your relationship to pick you up. This is important to get you a babysitter for the evening and go to dinner with your favorite adult, your partner. Go to a place where the two of you can have adult conversation and make sure it never enters into what is going on at home. Talk about politics, investments, movies, or anything else that grown ups talk about. This is specially needed for the man/woman that stays at home and takes care of the children and the house. That is a stressful job in it's self and sometimes you need a few hours off to recharge your batteries. Plan these escapes regularly and you might just see an improvement in the whole cycle. Honor those that take care of the important things at home they are truly a blessing.

The answers are simple.

Do you want to improve your relationship? If you say yes, then the steps you take are simple. Just put more effort into your relationship. Just like anything else with the more effort you put into building your relationship the better it will be. Get away from excuses like, I'm tired, I'm not putting in the effort unless he/she does, or I just don't feel like it. Excuses are just ways of being lazy and the cure for lazy is effort. Take is slow and each day make it a point to put a little more effort into loving your partner and your relationship. Soon you will start seeing it happen naturally and you will see your relationship blossom.

Don't forget to set time aside for your love.

Do you have those days where you just collapse into bed? You have spent all day taking and running the kids around, working, doing laundry, etc, etc, etc. Yet the one thing you have forgotten is one of the most important things in your life. That is your relationship! You have spent all you energy doing the other things in life and now you have no time or energy for your relationship. This is when you have to dig deep and find the energy to give to your partner. They deserve it and you know it but it is hard when you are ready to just relax. I suggest that you start thinking about saving some energy through out the day to save for your partner. Think of yourself as having a battery and just sit down and store away some charge for your partner later. Your relationship will benefit greatly if you have time to converse under the stars or talk while laying in bed, or even have a little physical encounter that lets you both sleep with a smile on your face. Don't wait until it is convenient for put time into your relationship you need to do it every single day. Take 15 minutes or so and just sit and store some of your energy up and tell yourself, "That is for my relationship later"

Don't forget to say thanks.

Thanks for cleaning the kitchen honey, let me show you how much I appreciate it.

Being in a relationship is great for the simple fact that there are two of you to get things done. You partner can do things for you when you are unable and vice versa. You can even ask them to do things when they have time and they are usually going to do them for you. Love is funny in that manner. The problem arises when these helpful things go unnoticed or unappreciated. That is when chores or helpfulness seems more like orders then helping out. Appreciate the things your partner does and don't always take the easy way out and say "Thank You" Do something special for that person and in return you are going to get a lot more help when you need it. Take your partner out to a wonderful dinner after a day of them running errands for the two of you. Pick up the book they have been wanting to read as a token of your appreciation. Offer up a massage at the end of the day and express your appreciation while you make them feel good. My favorite however is to slip into something sexy or fill your bedroom with candle light and find a way orgasmically to thank them. Love is such a special thing and the last thing you want is your partner feeling unappreciated, so make sure to whisper softly in their ear, "Thank You"

Flowers are a wonderful thing to send a women... but what about the guys?

Most women love getting flowers from their partner. This is a wonderful simple action that shows the love that the giver has for the recipient. Some guys might appreciate this action if they were sent flowers but most guys would be embarrassed. So the question arises as to what you can do for the man in your relationship. How do you tell them that you care about them and still keep there manly feelings in tact. Well some suggestions might be tickets to a game, or their favorite beer with a ribbon on it. Be creative but make sure that they know what the items is for. Put a card with the item or a note stating your love for them. Just like you pick flowers by your partners likes do the same for your man. If they love tools but them a new tape measure for this item. It makes if so much more special to get something that thought went into. Men are not use to getting just a little random gift like this so this they might not know how to handle it. Make sure they know it is your way of giving them flowers without destroying their manliness.

Naked Hugs

Naked hugs are an amazing special type of hug. Feeling the total naked body of your partner is a sensation not to be missed. There are way more times to slip these naked hugs in then you might think. Right before you jump in the shower or as you are changing your clothes at night are excellent times to coax your partner over and feel their nakedness pressed against you. Being in bed is the easiest time to slip these naked hugs in but you need to branch out and enjoy them more often. While all hugs are great, naked hugs are the only ones you can share with your lover. Enjoy the hugs and the naked body of your partner

Keep your Fingernail and Toenails neat and clean.

You hear it so often that after marriage that people start to slip in keeping up their appearance. They fish is caught so why keep using bait is the wrong philosophy to use. One area that you might not think about that often is your fingernails and toenails. There is no bigger turn of then having overgrown and dirty fingernails or toenails. The desire to be touched will be suppressed if the hands that are touching you have dirt under the nails and are jagged and scratchy. Yet this problem can be avoided when you simply sit down to watch television. Keep your nails trimmed neat and make sure to clean out from under them after you come home from work. After you take a shower is the best time to fix your nails as they are softer and easier to work with. Don't think your toes are unimportant either you feet touch in bed all the time and you don't want your partner to think they are sleeping with Freddy Kruger. Not only does neat and trimmed fingernails and toenails help in appearance but it will help in your sex life also. Neat trimmed nails are a plus as you explore you sexuality and your partners. You defiantly don't want to scratch or cut your partner during these times. Ladies paint your nails also it adds a great visual for your man as you touch and please him. Again keeping your nails up isn't a hard chore, but not doing it can find your partner shying away from your touch and that my friend is not a good thing.

Looking for a Job? Do it together.

As the economy is trying to turn around many of us find ourselves looking for employment. Constant scanning the want ads and the internet for jobs that fit is a nightmare. This nightmare can be a little easier if you enlist the help of your partner. Having another pair of eyes browsing the endless streams of information is a big help. For starters they will look in a totally different manner than yourself. You might pass over a job that might be perfect of you but someone with a more objective eye might have it stick out to them. Another plus for this is that their future depends on this also. When one partner loses a job or is out of work the whole family suffers. Teamwork isn't a option here you need to lower you defences and listen to ideas your partner has. Remember that no one knows you better than your partner, so trust their judgement also.

Independence Day

Independence Day stands for a lot of things here in the United States and our freedom is the most important. America was build on the fact that we can do what we want and feel comfortable expressing ourselves. So I want to start today by thanking all the people through out our history that made this happen. I enjoy being able to blog and not worry that someone is going to come up and say to me you that I can't do what I enjoy.

Relationship independence is also something you need to have in your life. Do you have things that you enjoy doing outside of your relationship? Maybe it is hanging with your friends or having some alone time. Either way make sure to find time for you to have some independence. Use it to make your relationship stronger, so that you have things to talk about later in the day. Don't use it as a time to break your commitment with you partner or to do things that might jeopardise your relationship. Go golfing with you buddies but when they start being obnoxious towards the opposite sex, don't join in. Have fun but remember you have someone at home that you love very much.

Women First!

We all know that chivalry is almost dead. Partly because people are selfish now and partly because women don't want to be made to feel like they are less then men. What ever the reason you shouldn't take it into your bedroom. By this I mean you should focus on the woman's sexual needs first then the mans. Why you might ask? Simple it takes the woman much longer to heat up sexually then the man in most cases. She needs to be heated up much like you heat your oven before you cook in it. Men on the other hand and ready to go as soon as the clothes hit the floor, so they are like a microwave. This is why we focus on the women first giving them time to enjoy the whole intimacy. Gone are the days when the guy finishes and rolls over to go to sleep. The women need satisfaction, too. Not all women need to orgasm to enjoy sex but you still need to give them that chance. I suggest always start by focusing on the woman's enjoyment, men you know you will be ready when she is so just be a little patient. The more you warm her up the better your cooking will be.

Now if you in a same sex relationship then you just have to decide who takes longer and start with them.

If you feel like making love, then make love.

Don't deny the feelings that you body is telling you. If you body tells you it is time to make love to your partner then do it. Don't wait for a better time, and unless it is not appropriate then satisfy you desires. When you wait for the perfect time you can never get everything in line and you will just keep waiting and waiting. Now is the time, if you body is feeling it then act on those feelings. Maybe you in the middle of watching a movie at home or you just are amazed at how beautiful you partner looks across the room. Grab them by the hand and lead them away to an amazing wonderful time. Believe me your body knows what you need and there is no better time to act then when it tells you to.

Teasing, when that is all you can do!

Teasing each other at times when nothing else can happen is a great way to build excitement for the next time you get a chance to be intimate. Times like on family vacations, at in laws house for supper, or during a cook out are a few of these times that stick out in my mind. For example on vacation get a little frisky under the coves and let your hands do a little exploring, knowing that you can have full out sex but a little petting would be a great tease for a later time when the petting can go much farther. Sneak away for a passionate kiss at a family dinner or hold hands during a friendly cook out. No matter what type of teasing turns you on you can find a couple of minutes to get the blood pumping for later. A wink, a kiss, or a tush squeeze are all things that can jump start teasing when nothing can happen. The beauty of all this teasing is that it makes both of you feel really good and creates desire to follow through on the teasing later.

Art is romantic and it can show that you are, too.

When art is created it is made with the passion of the artist and his/her desire to create and bring beauty to this world. We get to experience this romance by getting to view these works of art, soaking in what the artists have given us of themselves. Being creative is romantic but not everyone can paint the Mona Lisa or sculpt a wonderful statue. We have to look at what our creative thing is to share that romance with our partner. Maybe it is wood working and you construct wonderful cabinets or if your talent is yard work and you make your yard look like the garden of eden. Share this passion with your mate and let them experience what besides your relationship that you are passionate about. Maybe it is cooking, sewing, or playing golf? What ever you passion is can be viewed as art work and can be shared with the people you love. Tell your partner what you love and let them know that it is a desire to be the best you can be at it. Then make sure you don't put that passion ahead of them.

Sometimes you just have to get mad

Sometimes you just have to get mad. Does't matter if you are in traffic or at home. You just have to let it out sometimes. This way you don't explode later for no reason. Direct your anger at what makes you angry and leave your relationship out of it. We tend to dump our problems into our relationship because it is comfortable and easy to do. Our partner tries to understand but sometimes it is just way to hard. Think about that next time you fly off the handle at your partner because work was bad. Did they cause the situation or are you just directing your anger at them? Chew on that next time.

Quite making excuses

Relationships are full of excuses. Excuses to get out of attending events, excuses for not having friends over, excuses for why the house is a mess, excuses for not making love and we can all fall into this trap. Excuses are easy to make up so that you don't have to go out of your way to do things. They can be as easy as I am tired to as complex as having several back up excuses so that if the first ones don't work you are covered. You can not mow the lawn because it's hot, or you can not go to your friends cook out because someone you don't like is going to be there. These are all cop outs and they don't allow you to live like you should. Stop making excuses today! Start living your life again and start enjoying your relationship like it is new again. Take that dance class, go to that ballgame, stay up late, enjoy life without excuses.

Enjoy time off.

The last thing that we ever want in a relationship is to have changes effect us. Things like losing your job can really test a relationship. Both of you have to be prepared for a change like this and securing a new job is a task in itself. The one thing you need to do to make this time less stressful is to make sure to enjoy the extra time you have together. Take time to do things that you might not be able to once you are back to work. Like day time walks or staying up late to watch a movie. Keep you job search in the for front but take the time to enjoy and rekindle your relationship. The job will come but they time you enjoy together just might be more important.

Do you really listen?

When you partner begins to talk about what they are interested in do you really listen? Are you interested in what they are saying and if not are you courteous enough to be interested in them? We have this flaw in our make up that only wants us to be interested in what WE are interested in. While our partner is talking about something they are passionate about we are in our mind wondering what time the game comes on, or how much work we have to do later. We don't really give them the courtesy of listening and trying to enjoy what they are diving into. Listen to your conversations and see if you quickly change the subject as your partner is discussing their topic. Here is a trick I have learned to try and get more involved in what my partner is speaking about. After you partner tells you about something that is of interest to them, ask a question about it. It doesn't have to be a in depth question but it does need to be one that seeks more understanding. Start making it a point to question you partner and get them to give you a little more information before you start talking about your interests. Doing this will not only show your partner that you care but it might just get you a little more understanding as to why they care.

A little please goes a long way.

One thing that we take for granted in a relationship is basic manners. Think about it when is the last time you said please and thank you to your partner. Well if you are lacking in this department you need to start focusing on it. Start ending each request of your partner with please, and make sure to thank them when they complete any task that benefits you. Now all of the sudden you are asking for a favor instead of barking out an order. For example check out the difference in these two statements, "Make sure you take the deposit to the bank" or "Could you take this deposit to the bank, please?" Wow what a difference a couple of words can make it can change the whole feeling of the words. Next time you catch yourself falling in this trap just make the adjustment and start adding please and thank you to your requests.

Discuss bad dreams.

We all have bad dreams from time to time. They might even be bad about your relationship. The first thing you need to remember is that these are only dreams and they might have deeper meanings then just the surface meaning. I feel it is important to discuss these dreams with your partner so that you see they are not real. Dreams can be funny things they can give a glimpse into what is going on in our lives. However you can't dwell on them if something bad happens but they should make you aware of your life a little more. Maybe, just maybe you dream is trying to tell you something. If it is about your partner maybe your not giving them enough attention or that you have had negative feelings. Again I feel it is important to discuss these dreams with your partner and get clear on them.