The answers are simple.

Do you want to improve your relationship? If you say yes, then the steps you take are simple. Just put more effort into your relationship. Just like anything else with the more effort you put into building your relationship the better it will be. Get away from excuses like, I'm tired, I'm not putting in the effort unless he/she does, or I just don't feel like it. Excuses are just ways of being lazy and the cure for lazy is effort. Take is slow and each day make it a point to put a little more effort into loving your partner and your relationship. Soon you will start seeing it happen naturally and you will see your relationship blossom.

Not in the mood?... put some effort into trying.

There is the old standard that is present in each and every relationship where the mood effects your whole level of intimacy. If one partner isn't in the mood for a sexual encounter the other is just out of luck. While this is certainly the choice of one partner most sex experts state that if you put a little effort into it your mood will soon chance. Try it some time and see what happens. The next time your not in the mood for intimacy express that to your partner but ask if they will lay naked with you and talk. Get snuggled down together so that you can feel each others body. Caress each others skin and talk about dreams the two of you have together. Touch each others genitals in a soft and stroking manner as you converse. Then kiss each other softly at first and then build them up to more and more passionate. See what happens, most of the time you might just find your mood shifting and your juices will start flowing. However if that is not the case then the closeness and conversation has been a plus. However I think ninety percent of the time you mood will be affected and you will change your mind on your mood. Take time and enjoy the foreplay and the building it is part of the sexual experience. Think of it this way if you say I am not in the mood actually what you are saying is I'm not putting the effort into it tonight! Is that fair to your partner? And, is it fair to you and your relationship?

Effort, Imagination and Love can work miracles.

Make love your religion

There is an old song I believe by Ziggy Marley that states "Love is my religion" I personally think that is a wonderful statement. I am not here to bash anyone's religion but today so many of them are not what was originally intended. Big business has effected our religion and I truly believe that love is the greatest and safest religion. Putting effort and extra energy into your love can only bring you more happiness and joy. Plus you are not judged like you are in most religions today. My religion manifests in the love I have for my partner and our family and that is my safe haven. Many religions have some great messages to deliver but in the process someone has taken those messages and twisted them into orders and demands of people. I want to send love out and that is how I am spiritual. I am not telling you to stop believing in what you believe but I am asking you to step back and really look at what is best for your relationship and your life. Dig deep and find the real meanings to your religion and then put them into your love.

Save money together.

Our economy right now has everyone struggling to find ways to cut costs. Doing it together can be beneficial and fun. Get the sunday paper and go through the coupons together. Find the best prices on items by searching the internet and comparing. Make these actions an adventure for the two of you. Do some more research and find fun free things to do for you and your family. These are all great ways to save money and enjoy your time together doing it. Make it a contest to see who can find the best prices or the most fun free thing to do. With a little love and hard work you will not only save a lot of money but build a relationship where two people know how to work as a team.

Love blooms beautiful when the seeds are planet right.

Love is the most beautiful thing on the face of the earth. However some people tend to take it for granted and soon weeds are growing in your bed of love. This can happen quietly over time and can disrupt your wonderful garden that at one time you were so attentive with. Now is the time to replant those seeds of love. Start doing little things that you did during the early stages of building your relationship. Open doors, get excited when your partner gets home from work, meet them with a kiss instead of bills or chores they need to get done and show them they are important. These simple little seeds as I call them are ways to improve and let your love take root again. Hold their hand at church, or just come up behind them and hug them are simple things that can stir feelings that might have gotten lost in the weeds. Give time to your relationship each day and make sure to devote yourself to doing this. Be with your love for a set amount of time taking care of things like, conversations, touching, expressing you love, intimacy, and just being present with each other. Don't allow outside influences to disrupt this time and soon your garden of love will start to flourish again. When in doubt of what to do think about what a real garden needs, sunlight and water. Go sit in the sun and enjoy each others company while conversing over a cool drink. Get near water go to a lake, take a picnic, or better yet take a shower together with the only purpose being to be naked and close to each other as you talk. Attending to your relationship like you would with your garden is a wonderful way to bring back that loving feeling.

Lift your man up!

Ladies if you haven't learned this by now you might not ever. Men think about sex a lot. This is our nature we desire it, we fantasize about it, and we want it all the time. Back up a bit that last little part isn't quite true. Men want sex all the time isn't exactly true we want it until we can have it. Our mind it focused on it until we reach that golden ring. I did a little experiment recently and found that once I had sex I was able to focus more on other tasks be it at work or home more easily for about two days. Once that third day hit my mind started telling me to think about sex again. Which got me thinking, it we had sex every three days my wife would never be able to tell me that all I think about is sex! I read somewhere that most really successful men have a lot it common but one of those things is that they never had to worry about was sex. They said their partner was always there for them in that capacity. Then in another article I read it said that couples that have more sex are happier and live longer. Are you starting to see the trend like I am. Ladies here is my feeling after I read these two articles. If you want your man to be successful, happy and healthy all you have to do is have sex with him on a normal basis so that it doesn't preoccupy his mind. Without having to worry about when he is going to have sex again, or what he can do to get more sex he will be free to think about things like improving his career, fixing up things around the house, and even doing more non-sexual romantic things.

This epic battle of men and women over sex, shouldn't be a battle at all it should be a compromise to benefit your relationship. Men I suggest trying you own little experiment and see how long sex releases it's grip from you mind after you have it. Be honest with yourself and your partner as to when that craving for sex starts to creep back in. Sex everyday is a wonderful thought but it isn't the compromise that most couples make and frankly I don't know if I would actually like to have sex everyday. That might become boring and I never want my sex to become boring. Talk with your partner about this and let them know you are trying to find the compromise that will make you both happy, if they get mad about that then they aren't really putting the effort into your relationship that you both really need.

Ladies shave those legs before bed.

There are many countries around the world where the women don't shave their legs. This is accepted by their culture and is not thought of as unattractive in these countries. However here in America it is very unusual to see a woman with hair on her legs. Here we usually look at is as someone that doesn't take care of themselves.

Ladies your legs are a valuable asset to you and your relationship. Soft shaven legs are sexy and can make even the most straight laced man melt. Us men love to run our hands across your fresh soft shaven legs and for obvious reasons. With that said ladies you might want to change up your routine a little. For example I shave my face a lot of times before I go to bed, so that just incase my partner wants to get close or intimate, she is not met with the sandpaper my face becomes. Same holds true for you ladies. If you know (and you know when you want to) you are wanting to be a little more then sleeping partners make the effort to shave those sexy legs of yours. That way your partner will drool to get his/her hands all over those soft legs of yours. Not only do your legs help with getting your partner to touch you, but they also make you feel more sexy. Fresh shaved legs are also a must if you like to wear stockings and I will speak for most of the men out there and say, "We love stockings" The nice part about using your sexy legs is that you don't have to be naked to get the feeling. You can put on a nice pair of shorts and get the foreplay started a little before you make it to the bedroom. Other things you might consider is a nice lotion to use on your legs to make them even softer and smell wonderful.

Chime in and let us know what how important legs are in your relationship by sending comments to me at thecouplesspot@gmail.com

Quit making excuses.

Today is the day to start leaving the excuses behind. This goes for everything from your relationship, your future, your parenting, to your sex life. Stop hiding behind those excuses that you have build into your defense system. No more fears, sickness, whining, all you need is a boost of confidence. Here is a stat that got me off my butt and got me moving on my blogs and writing, most people fail at what they are doing, the success stories are about 1 in 1000. My feeling is if I try 1000 things then one of them will work and put me over the top. This goes for all your relationship need also. Most people will give up right before they get to that one thing that changes everything. I feel that this is the case in most divorces, that these people are just on the edge of getting into their groove when they decide it's not worth it. This is my message to your don't give up so easy, as long as there is no abuse or anything else that would put you in danger. Put forth the best effort you can at building the best relationship you can. Stop doing those things that are harming you relationship. Lower you defenses and replace them with effort. Go get counseling if you need it, suck it up. If sex is your problem make a commitment to start putting more effort into finding what works for the two of you. If you don't thing your parenting skills are as good as they could be then get your ass out their and read parenting books or scour the internet and find the information you need to make yourself the best parent you can be. Here is the secret to overcoming every problem that faces you in a relationship, are you ready? "Never stop trying to improve"

Are you the aggressor in your sex life, if not become one tonight.

Usually one person in a relationship is the more aggressive one when it comes to initiating sex. If that is not you, then tonight I want you to suck it up and be the aggressor. What a shock to your mate if you are the one that hunts them down to make love. This might be a little hard for you but your mate will truly love it. If you can't go full out then at least make some sort of effort. Nothing shows you partner that you love them more then breaking out of your normal routine to show them you care. Wear something sexy, send naughty text messages to them, passionately kiss them when they least expect it, turn off the television and give them a look that cannot be mistaken, what ever you do make it bold and direct statement. Tonight you be the jungle cat stalking it's prey, just don't break the skin when you bite.

Take time for passionate kisses

When you are in a relationship you take a lot of things for granted. You overlook the things that made you feel great in the early stages of your relationship. Kissing is one of these simple little things that seem to get the shaft as we get farther into our relationship. The passionate kiss seems to become a peck hello and goodbye. The only time a passionate kiss is thought about is during sexual relations. This is not a good practice to fall into. Now I am not saying that you have to make out every time you kiss each other. That might make your friends and children want to puke. I do suggest that at some point and time during the day you take time to get lost in a kiss. Maybe in the morning or at lunch, the time doesn't matter all I want you to do is get lost in a kiss like you use to at the beginning of your relationship. You might feel silly at first but believe me the feeling you get from doing this is well worth the effort. My heart swells with so much when we do this, it is one of my favorite exercises to bring the new relationship feeling back into my mind. This doesn't take anytime during your day maybe a minute at the most and it is well worth the time. Go out a buy some chap stick and mouthwash because you going to start passionate kisses today.

Speed Cleaning, The Race is on! (click here to go to amazon and view the speed cleaning book)

No one and I mean no one like to think about spring cleaning. It takes so much time and effort and can ruin a absolutely pretty day. Well here is a way to add some fun into the cleaning. Make it a challenge between the two of you. Divide up the house or just pick a room a piece and see who can get done the fastest. Now the areas divided have to be about equal and you must decide how clean the area must be. After you have laid the ground work set a starting line and get down in a sprinters squat and if you have a staring pistol shoot it, if not just someone say go. Set up a extra chore for the loser such as having to fix dinner that night or something along that lines. Turn on some music and clean as quick as you can, pick in on each other from time to time to see where you stand. No cheating don't take things form your area and move them to your partners area (I know how you are guys). Run through your partners area from time to time to do a little trash talking, things like "I'm cleaning so fast it looks like your standing still" or "Are you cleaning or posing for a picture?" are some good ones. In the end your house will look better and you should have saved some time that you can spend together well after the loser finishing cooking a great supper.