A kiss is just a kiss, unless it is filled with all the love and passion two lovers share.  Then it is a vortex allowing the power of the universe to be held in that kiss. 

Rob - The Couples Spot 

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7 New Year's Resolutions for Couples

7 New Year's Resolutions for Couples (YES, for Couples - Try It!)

By Jeffrey Herring

Do couples ever make resolutions for their relationship?

Here at the time of New Year's Resolutions, and at any time, it sure seems like a good ides for couples to make resolutions for their relationship.

To that end, here are 7 suggestions for Couple Resolutions:

1) Remember first attractions - It's so easy in the general messiness of living with another person to forget about what attracted you to each other in the first place. This would be a good list to make and a good conversation to have every know and then.

It's been said by my favorite author (Author Unknown) that "When you are up to your neck in alligators, it's hard to remember the original objective was to drain the swamp."This applies here big time.

2) Fight for relationship - Couples fight sometimes. That's just part of the territory. So since you are going to fight, why not decide in advance what to for, yes? I suggest fighting for the relationship. Most folks fight to be right. Fight for the relationship.

3) Live below your means - Now I've gone from preaching to meddling, right? The happiest couples I know are not necessarily the richest couples I know. The happiest couples I know are those without significant money worries. The best way to achieve this is to live below your means.

4) Know love language - In what way does your partner best experience and feel loved? Is it actions like acts of service? Is it words? Is it being touched?

The best way to find out is to ask.

5) Speak love language - Once you know the love language of your partner, speak it. Radical notion I know, but it works. The temptation is to speak in our own love language. Often that is not the language of our partner. Know it and speak it.

6) Daily time together - I don't care if it's just 15 minutes. Couple need this time to keep the connection strong. In the hustle and bustle of each day, couple time is often the first thing to go. Schedule it if you have to, just make sure you get it in.

7) Regular date night - This could be the best couple resolution of all. You dated when you were getting together. Why stop? A regular date night allows you to spend quality couple time together, and gives you something to look forward to each week or month.

Bonus Tip - Think a regular date night could get expensive? You're right. Think a regular date night has to be expensive? You're wrong.

Check out Oprah expert Michael Webb's 300 Creative Dates for great inexpensive and creative date ideas. Just visithttp://GreatDatesDoneCheap.com to plan your next fun and inexpensive date.

Brought to you by Syndicated Relationship Columnist Jeffrey Herring- keeping it simple in relationships.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeffrey_Herring

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Romance May Not Be What You Think

Romance really might not be what you think it is.  It can be very different from person to person and we are willing to bet that most people don't look at it the same way it is defined in the Webster's dictionary.

Here are some key points of today's episode:

1. The definition of "romance" may surprise you.
2. Romance is for BOTH of you.
3. Forget the chocolates, jewelry, and flowers…

Happy Romantic Holidays,

Janelle and Rob - Your Sexy Challenge Team

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. - Couples' Dream Therapist

Dr. Rob Alex, Ph.D. - The Guru of Getting It On

Photo credit: © hsagencia - Fotolia.com

Why Not Kiss Your Lover?

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Don't leave without a kiss.

As we start to stumble though our life and relationship things start to fall to the side. One of these things is kissing each other goodbye. It may seem a little silly but in my opinion whenever one of you leaves no matter what reason you should at least give a little peck goodbye. It should be a habit not a stretch for the two of you. The reason being is that life can take a twist or turn at any time. I have heard so many stories about people that have lost their partner and they say if I only could have given them one more kiss. We don't want to make it sound like a disaster is going to happen and I don't want you to look at it this way. What I would rather you do is look at it as sending them off with your energy. Giving them your passion and strength. Now that is a great way to look at it. Next time your partner is running out the door to leave make sure to call them back and lay a great big kiss on them. You know the energy that you will be sharing with them and they will feel it.

Reward your partner for taking care of the kids!

One of the hardest yet most fun things to do is take care of the kids all day. If you don't have children you are missing one of the pure joys of life. However it is difficult to be the only one taking care of them. Having a joint effort is the best when taking care of the munchkins. Sometimes however one of us have to work while the other partner has to be the main source of childcare. When this happens you need to reward you partner for the most important job ever. Take them to dinner, or pick out a movie that they like or just give them time for themselves. Make it known that you appreciate this hard but rewarding task they have performed. Tell them how great of parent they are and that you love them even more for being super mom/dad.

Set up a date...In the shower.

We love being naked together and a natural place to do this is in the shower. Yet we are usually so stuck on getting ready for work or starting out day that we don't have time to enjoy a wonderful sexy shower with our partner. I suggest setting a date to take place in the shower. Take turns washing each other and just hugging as the water caresses your bodies. See how the water pools up on parts of your bodies as you hold each other. Kiss each others wet warm skin. Enjoy the solitude you as a couple have in this wonderful sensation we call a shower. Use this as foreplay for a night of great love making. You can also use it as a way of being close after love making. When ever you find time for it you will be happy you did. Go into the date shower with the mind set of getting out only when the water starts getting cold.

The Long Hello

Yesterday I spent about 12 hours total traveling to meet up with my wonderful wife. The day started at 4am and I finally met up with my wife later in the day. The wonderful thing about that was the long hello we gave each other. Kisses, and long passionate hugs as we caught up on the week we had just spent without each other. Sure there were telephone calls but nothing replaces that physical touch after being apart. These first kisses and hugs are a little more special than your normal ones as they let the missing of each other flow between you. There is nothing like the euphoric feeling that you get when you get the love of your life back in your arms after time spent apart.

Enjoy time off.

The last thing that we ever want in a relationship is to have changes effect us. Things like losing your job can really test a relationship. Both of you have to be prepared for a change like this and securing a new job is a task in itself. The one thing you need to do to make this time less stressful is to make sure to enjoy the extra time you have together. Take time to do things that you might not be able to once you are back to work. Like day time walks or staying up late to watch a movie. Keep you job search in the for front but take the time to enjoy and rekindle your relationship. The job will come but they time you enjoy together just might be more important.

Learn to talk a little dirty.

Deep inside our brains we all like a little dirty talk. Either in the throws of passion or as foreplay this dirty talk can take us to a higher level in our sex life. Even the most reserved person can become a dirty talker with a little practice. First you have to learn your style, are you the demanding dirty talker. Demanders bark out instructions using the most vivid words. You could be the screamer where you throw out dirty words as you orgasm. Maybe your the shy one that likes to send your dirty talk via text messages or email. No matter what your style dirty talk can enhance your relationship. Ladies you have the upper hand at this, while for guys we need to be a little more reserved. Guys blurting out dirty words out of the bedroom might seem a little abusive however it is quite different if the lady comes out and asks for her partner to put their face between her boobs. I have found a great web site to help you learn to talk dirty and give you several phrases you might want to use sometime. The link is posted below. Good luck and happy dirty talking.

Drity Talk 101

How close can you get.

Here is a little exercise that is fun and exciting and will leave you yearning for more. Several times during the day see how close you can get your lips to each others without touching. Get close enough to feel the heat coming off of them but resist the urge to kiss. Stay in this position for a few seconds and see how passionate being that close can be. Feel your partners breath, sense their energy and soak in their aura. Make sure to start deep into each others eyes to get the maximum out of your closeness. I get shivers down my back being that close without touching. The desire to touch will be strong but use the force or whatever means you can to resist. Finally at the end of the night have a make out session. With deep passionate kissing and release all the feeling of being so close to each other you could almost taste it.

looking for the pot of gold in your relationship? Don't look backwards!

Are you carrying baggage from past experiences that are creeping into your relationship. While we can't forget the past totally if we look forward the path seems less cluttered. When the baggage holds you back from your feelings or letting your self love like you should then you are unable to travel that path that your relationship needs to follow. Instead you just keep backtracking and going over the same part of the path over and over again. Take a deep breath and clear those feelings from the past give them a kiss and let them be on their way. Then take the hard path and enjoy the fruits of your relationship. Remember fears and longings only make us weak and timid, the strong forge ahead with reckless abandon that is how you find the treasure.

Take inventory of your relationship.

If your like the normal couple you only talk about your partners faults instead of focusing on the good things that they do in your relationship. We dwell on the facts of what they didn't do instead of celebrating the things that they do to help out the household or your relationship. What you need to do is to take time and make a list of all the good things your partner does in your relationship. Write down all the little things like taking out the garbage, picking up the kids, or even fixing dinner. Then look for major things they do to make your relationship better, like making sure the two of you have a date night, or planning a great weekend getaway for the two of you. I am sure once you start writing down things you will be amazed at how many good things your partner does. Do they make the bed, mow the lawn, let you watch the shows you want, or even just kiss you good night. Then the next time you want to yell at them for leaving the lid off the toothpaste, pull out your list and read one of the good things they do. Maybe you can live without the lid on the toothpaste.

Let your kids or others kids see you being in love.

One thing that I feel is way to avoided in our society is letting our children see what being in love is about. I am not saying you should sit there and make out in front of them. Let them see the two of you holding hands, and let them know that a quick kiss it okay, and one thing you have to do is let them know that Mommies and Daddies need time alone. With these things you are sitting up the ground work for you children to have great relationships in the future. Our children learn from our examples, so if they see their parents in a relationship that is full of spite and anger that is what they will feel is a normal relationship. It is time to break the mold and let your children understand that you love each other. Tell them how much you love their other parent or your partner, don' think that they cannot handle it. Talk about your lover to them when they are gone, tell them you wished they were home or that you miss them. Children understand a lot more then you realize. If you want your children to have great relationships in the future lead by example and let them see what love is about.

Being intimate is not a bargaining tool.

One thing every person knows is that intimacy and sex is important in a relationship. However, so many couples use it as a bargaining tool. Both sides are to blame. Remember when you started dating and the passion and intimacy just happened. Some how when we become life partners we forget about that. We let things like work, kids, and countless other things get in the way of the freedom we had in our intimacy. Yet we do nothing about it. We hear things like "Well if you helped more around the house, I might be in the mood more" or "Well if you didn't let yourself go, I would be more attracted to you again" These things hurt and are most definitely not good for a relationship. Never should you put a tag on your love life, that should be a mutual exchange of the love between the two of you, not just a chore. You can't force sex and you can't ignore sex, it has to be in a relationship to make both partners happy. The passion has to come back and you have to compromise or you just end up becoming roommates. Use this exercise to help you get over you stipulations on sex, think about the wonderful things your partner does, think about the wonderful times you have had together, and relive all those feelings. Do you want to create more of them? Well think back what was going on in your life when they happened, most likely there was a lot of passion between the two of you????? Are you getting the picture make it a point to woe each other again, get excited about having a date together, kiss when you come home from work, these little things will start to manifest your desire for each other and soon you won't have to worry about it the passion will take care of itself.

Basketball Madness

If you don't know by now the most important part of the college basketball season is upon us. March Madness will now take it's toll on many a young lady that finds themselves a basketball widow right now. If this is your case, you can do something about it. Hunker down beside your man and find out what all the excitement is about. Learn about how the tournament operates. The beauty of the fact that 65 teams are all trying to keep winning to move towards a national championship. Each game is a win or go home game and no one is safe from upsets. This all might seem a little much for you if you have never experienced it. However, if you want to be with your man this month (well at least on the weekends) you might want to do a little research. Have him show you how to fill out a bracket, let him show you his tricks to picking the winners. Heck the two of you could even put a little sexual wager on the games to spice things up a bit. You owe it to him to try and understand a little bit about this tradition, think about the times you drag him out shopping and he tries to help you pick things out. He is putting forth the effort you might not like his picks but he is trying. Here is an important thing for you to remember the first weekend of the tournament is non stop basketball from about noon to midnight but then it gets less and less as the get closer to the finals. So as march progresses you will have more and more time to spend together.

Be prepared for Valentine's Day next year.

Here is a wonderful idea, the only downfall to it is that you have to wait until next year at Valentine's Day to enjoy it. Basically all you do is start writing down all the sweet and wonderful things your partner does for you in a journal. You do this day in and day out for an entire year, then next year at Valentine's Day you present this journal to your partner with a card attached that says here are some of the reasons this past year that you made me feel special. Now you can't just have one or two things written down in this journal. Make it a point to fill the journal up. Your partner will have a great time reading through the little notes on things that they did the past year to make you feel special. In fact, by writing these things down you to will gain more appreciation for your partner and all they do for you. Have a great Valentine's Day tomorrow and show you love how important they are to you.

Are you the aggressor in your sex life, if not become one tonight.

Usually one person in a relationship is the more aggressive one when it comes to initiating sex. If that is not you, then tonight I want you to suck it up and be the aggressor. What a shock to your mate if you are the one that hunts them down to make love. This might be a little hard for you but your mate will truly love it. If you can't go full out then at least make some sort of effort. Nothing shows you partner that you love them more then breaking out of your normal routine to show them you care. Wear something sexy, send naughty text messages to them, passionately kiss them when they least expect it, turn off the television and give them a look that cannot be mistaken, what ever you do make it bold and direct statement. Tonight you be the jungle cat stalking it's prey, just don't break the skin when you bite.

Couples Dice - Every couples should have some.

I am sure you have seen them sometime in your life. Maybe you already have some in your possession. They are couples dice and they are a great item for every couple to have. They are simple and basic but they can get your motor running in a hurray. Basically they are set of dice that instead of number or dots on them have actions and body parts listed on their six sides. The first one has actions like lick, suck, kiss, rub, etc and the second one has body parts like hand, breast, neck, genitals, etc on it's sides. You roll both dice and do the action on the body part that is rolled. Pretty basic, everyone can figure this game out. You can however make your own more advanced form of this game by simply corresponding the numbers on a regular set of dice to sexual acts or chores to make it more exciting. Playing a game to get your blood pumping isn't that bad of idea after all it adds a little chance into your relationship and gives you that thrill of gambling as you watch the dice decide your fate for the night. Again you can pick these dice up at almost any specialty store, I have even seen the in gas stations but they truly are a great way to put a little extra into your love life with out breaking the bank.

Chap stick could save your relationship!

The time is here for bitter winter weather and if you are not prepared it can greatly effect your love life. As the wind whips across your lips it can make them dry and chapped. Chapped lips make for lousy kissing and without kissing passion seems to take a back seat. Have you ever heard any one say, "Oh your chapped lips are so sexy" Of coarse not it is the exact opposite. Protection is a must so you need to stock up on Chapstick and lip balm for those days when you must be out in the cold and windy conditions. Make it a point to carry a tube around with you at all times so that you don't have to search for one. With that said always keep a spare around because these little tubes of sex life saving product seem to get misplaced quite often. This post might seem a little silly right now but you will be thanking me the next time you start making out and your partner enjoys your lips, instead of complains about them.