The Fantasy Box - The Couples Spot Approves

We recently got to try our very first offering from The Fantasy Box.  

Check out why we are giving this product a couple of thumbs up.  Watch the video above and see what you can expect when you get your sign up to get The Fantasy Box

Oh, That Is a Hot One!

This summer we planted a small red chile pepper plant.  We finally have a few red and ready to pick.  We will see just how hot these little treasures are.  The point is that we have enjoyed watching this precious little plant form blooms and their beautiful blooms have turned into little tiny peppers, then bigger, then RED ones.

It has been a small, but enjoyable thing to share with each other this summer.  And, now we will soon try them out and see if they are super hot and make one of us do a funny little dance looking for a glass of milk to sooth our burning mouth.

5 Reasons Sex Can Be Super Exciting After Midlife

Sex After Mid-Life

5 Reasons It Can Be Super Exciting and Hot!

American culture teaches us to believe that we are only sexy in our 20s, 30s and maybe – if you are lucky, 40s.  We are taught that having an active and exciting sex life is something that we will no longer have once we hit middle age and beyond.  Well, screw that (pun intended)! 

I am going to share with you 5 reasons why sex after middle age can be even hotter, sexier, spicier, and more exciting than when you were younger.  Yes, sometimes there are medical conditions that can affect your sex life, but you can seek help for those.  You can find natural methods to assist with physical conditions as well as finding assistance within in western medicine.  It can be freaking amazing and here’s why. 

1.    Experience!  - Okay, you have gone through your teens and 20s trying to figure out what the heck all the fuss was about.  Hopefully, you enjoyed a lot of wonderful lovemaking during those years and had a loving committed partner for part (if not most) of that time.  Then, you moved into your 30s and 40s and hopefully, still had wonderful sex around having kids and a career.  Well, guess what?  All these years gave you a lot of experience.  You had the opportunity to figure out what you do and don’t like when it comes to gettin’ busy.  Boy, oh boy, that can come in handy now!

2.    No Kiddos! – Most likely, if you had children, they are grown or at least not little anymore.  So, now you don’t have to worry about little ones bursting into your bedroom and there is a very good chance that you can get back to making love in any room in the house.  Plus, you aren’t as apt to be stressed and worn out due to running them to this practice and that event and trying to help get their homework done.  Yay!  Stress level has dropped!

3.    More Time!  - By now you are hopefully more established in your career and don’t need to spend so many hours working.  As mentioned above, you aren’t as likely to be running kids everywhere.  There is time for the two of you again.  Time to date (whether or not you are already in a relationship or looking for a new one).  The more time you spend together the more likely you are to bond on a deeper level and then….yep – rip each other’s clothes off and spend some naked time together!

4.    Extra Money! – In those earlier years, your finances may have been a bit tighter.  Now you are, hopefully, better off financially and have more disposable income to spend on dates, romantic excursions, clothes/shoes that make you feel sexy, and even more adult toys/lubes.  *Ah, reflect back to “experience”: you know what you like or you are more willing to find out now – so, spend some money on high quality sex toys and enjoy hotter, new, different, intimate play with your lover.

5.    Sexy & Healthy! – The more pleasurable sex (particularly in a committed relationship) you enjoy the more oxytocin that is released into the body.  This is the “feel good” hormone.  It eases pain and just makes you happier in general.  And, even more exciting is the fact that as oxytocin is released in the body more oxytocin receptors are created!  Woo Hoo!  That means the more sex you have the better and better you can feel.  Of course, on top of all that is the fact that making love is a spiritual connection even if you never intend for it to be.  Therefore, not only does your physical body become healthier and happier, but so does your soul.  How can you beat that?

So, for those who have told you that having a great sex life past middle age is practically hopeless, you now have five reasons why they are wrong.  Experience!  No kiddos!  More time!  Extra money!  Sexy & healthy – physically and spiritually!  We typically live so much longer nowadays.  Take the time to enjoy this second half of your life and fill it with playful experiences – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  Honor your life and your sweetie’s by engaging in more powerful, playful passion.

Janelle Alex, Ph.D. © 2013  

Co-Founder of Sexy Challenges

www.sexychallenges.com

Get busy. Get spiritual. Laugh your ass off!

Get a jump on your fireplace now.

For those of you lucky enough to have a fire place inside your house, now is the time to get things ready for those romantic nights spend in front of the fire as the snow flies. Do some initial checking to make sure you fire place is clean and ready to warm up the night. Hire a chimney sweep to get a professional job, they really are not that expensive and will add live and safety to your fire place. Once you know that the fire place is ready it is time to make sure the area around the fireplace is ready. Do you have comfortable chairs to relax in as the you listen to the crackle of the wood. Speaking of wood have you stocked up on it, once the first snow starts falling it makes it a little harder to get the wood and if you pay for it, it will be more expensive once the snow hits. Make sure you have plenty of tables around for sitting drinks or books or anything else you might need as the fire warms you up. Stock up on your favorite relaxing drink and make sure you have the proper tools to work with the fire. All this work might seem a bit much right now but think of it this way when your partner drops their robe to reveal a sexy little nighty the last think you want to worry about is that it is getting cold in the room. Now on the other hand if you have everything in place you are free to enjoy that little nighty, too

If your partner left you a love note....

If your partner left you a love note, what kind of note would you like it to be.

1. A Poem - Sweet and from the Heart?

2. A Humorous attempt to get you in bed later?

3. A Personal Message describing the ways they love you?

4. A Hot and Steamy, down and dirty Message?

5. Something else?

Tell us which type of letter you would like to receive. Give us details and if you have gotten any give us the scoop on them.

Thanks,

Rob

Challenge each other to recycle!

Love is good and recycling is good, also. Why not make a game of recycling between you and your lover. Make it a point to see who can recycle the most items or to call the other one out when they don't recycle. If you find a soda can in the trash from your lover, make sure to draw it to their attention. You could even go as far as to set up a chart and when you hit a certain point your partner has to take you to dinner. You could even put disciplines on items found in the trash that were recyclable. For example, 3 items found would make your partner have to give you a massage. Heck you could even attach sexual favors to a number of recycled items you find in the trash from your partner. Then at least you both win as you dig out the items. If you really want to get into the competition thing then start two bags of recycling and see who can fill theirs up first. You could even do this in your neighborhood. What ever way you do it, the fact remains you will be helping the environment. Peace and recycling to all of you.

Be a little aggressive in bed.

I read an interesting statistic the other day that claimed that most women wish their men were a little more aggressive in bed. It would seem that with women getting more in touch with their sexuality that gone are the days of slow and calm love making. I am sure after that last statement I will get tons of emails from women that love it slow and calm. However I am sticking to my feeling that women want to feel like their love making is passionate. To me passionate means not being able to control your desire for the person you are with. This make sense to me why women would love the aggressiveness. Who doesn't want to feel like their lover can't get enough of them. Here is a little secret ladies, men like you to be aggressive also. It seems that both sexes should go after what they want and well the sex will satisfy both of them. The only problem I for see is that if both partners want to be aggressive who gets to lead? I will let the two of you sort that out and maybe it is just a matter of taking turns or switching. Which ever works best for you doesn't matter but don't put the stove on simmer when you can put it on hot!

Theme Songs

Most couples have their song! You know the one you first danced to or the one playing when you first met. These songs are wonderful memories and remind you of that special time when ever you hear them. However that isn't what this post is about. I want you to start picking out theme songs for your everyday life. The two of you sit down together and pick out songs for certain things you have to get done. For instance, make a playlist of upbeat songs for when the two of you are cleaning house. You know the songs that get you moving so that you are dancing while you are cleaning. You can even have dinner music to play lightly in the back ground during supper time. Don't forget sensual music to play when you are well for lack of a better phrase, getting it on. Music has such a powerful way of affecting our life that we need to use it to our advantage more often. Sit down tonight and the two of you hash out some playlist for your life and you might just find yourselves dancing together more often.

Write an erotica story back and forth.

Check out some wonderful world of Erotica By Zob for starters.

Sometimes if you have difficulty telling your partner what you want you might just have to write it down. Not an instruction list but a fantasy or a desire to try something different. Try this little exercise the next time the two of you have some free time. One of you start writing an erotica story and then after a page stop. That night read what you have written to your partner and then hand the paper over to them. The next day it is their turn to start writing and and to read their little bit of erotica to you that night. Keep this going until you finish a story and then start over again with the opposite partner starting the story. Be very descriptive about the images in your head and see if you can get your partner hot and ready for action. This might just become a ritual in your bedroom each night. It also allows you to express fantasies to your partner and gives them some insight to what you find erotic. Heck you might find that they two of you have the same interest but were both afraid to express it. Dig out your best writing pen or type of your part and send it to your love if you are to embarrassed to read it aloud. Soon you might just be getting exactly what you want.

Sandals - Shoes for Lovers

Summer time is great for lots of things but one of my favorite things about summer is being able to wear sandals. Sandals are the most romantic footwear that was ever created. There are plenty of sexy shoes out their with stiletto heels and feathery pumps. However, we are talking romantic shoes here. Sandals are quick to put on and off, which allows you to save time when getting ready. They are comfortable and show off your sexy feet and toes, which will really excite you if you have a foot fetish. They also allow your feel to get air to them and on those hot summer days concealed feet can get pretty stinky. Most of the sandals you pick for summer can also get wet so you don't have to worry if you want to step into a kiddy pool or play in the rain. Plus sandals just have that relaxed feel to them, they are like vacation for your feet. If you don't have great sandals then today is the best day to go out and get some. Then see how romantic they make you feel wearing them around.

The Temperature of romance

We all have a specific temperatures that we are comfortable with be it during the day or in the evening when we are trying to sleep. We also all have temperatures that we like to make love in or snuggle at so do a little research and find the best temperatures for you and your partner. Hit the air conditioning if you partner doesn't like sweaty sex. Keep the thermostat turned down cooler in those winter months to encourage your partner to snuggle. Turn the air conditioning down to get your partner into wearing less clothes around the house. Heck you can even turn the heat up in the winter and wear you swimsuits around. Have fun with this little adjusting of the temperature. Make it hot then when you partner complains tell them "Well maybe you should have so many clothes on!" with a raised eyebrow.

Is it my turn?

One thing we find interesting in our relationship is that we both like to be the aggressor in our sex life. This presents a little problem as we both get a rush being the one that initiates sex. As fun as it might sound you both can be the aggressor at the same time. That's like both of you trying to lead during dancing. The simple solution to this problem is to take turns being the aggressor. Don't pick a specific date but just make every other time a switch to the other persons time to be the aggressor. Sex is powerful and the rush you get from taking your partner in your arms to initiate the actions. Hard kisses that tell the other person what you have in mind, or leading your partner by the hand to the bedroom and shutting the door are a couple of ways that get this point across. Being the less aggressive partner isn't all bad but being the passive one all the time really sucks. Make sure both partners get to prowl for sex within your relationship. Their is something about getting that look in your eye and the raw emotions of being aggressive when it come to getting the intimacy you want.

Experiment with your toes a little

Toes, toes, toes, they never get the recognition they deserve. Unless you have a foot fetish or a toe fetish they pretty much go unnoticed. However, toes can be wonderfully sexy. Freshly painted toenails can add an excitement to your love making. Using your toes as a sensual tool can be a challenge that most couples will find a little exciting. You can do so much with your toes that are sexy. Think about massaging your partner with you toes. Using your toes like your fingers you can run them across your partners genitals to get them aroused and feeling vital with a new sensation. Rubbing your partners toes can be a turn on for both partners with the use of oil and technique you can turn your toes into a erogenous zone very quickly. Kissing and sucking on clean toes gives another sensual dimension to your love making. Toes may not be the first thing you think about when you become aroused but they can definitely add to the adventure of intimacy.

Don't use you partner as a punching bag.

Do you direct all your anger at you partner? If so is that fair? Why do we blow our top at our partner? Why don't we direct you anger at the area that causes it? Does work make you anger and you bring it home? These questions I believe that you already know the answer to. You partner does not deserve to be your punching bag. Yes they need to be there to support you when you are having a bad time of it. However if you want to keep your relationship strong you need to try and focus the anger in another way. Maybe exercise would do it for you, or maybe something artistic, heck you can even take it out by having sex. Just to come home and unload on your partner is not fair to them or you. This only creates a feeling of trying to stay out of you way for your partner. Why would they want to be your support if all you do is direct the anger at them? Think about that for a while, then the next time you have a bad day and come home angry try a different approach. Calmly sit down and explain your feelings to your partner, don't raise you voice or throw things. Allow your partner time to process these feelings and help you direct them in positive ways. Not only will the two of you feel better but most likely the problem will become less of a stress to your relationship.

Ladies shave those legs before bed.

There are many countries around the world where the women don't shave their legs. This is accepted by their culture and is not thought of as unattractive in these countries. However here in America it is very unusual to see a woman with hair on her legs. Here we usually look at is as someone that doesn't take care of themselves.

Ladies your legs are a valuable asset to you and your relationship. Soft shaven legs are sexy and can make even the most straight laced man melt. Us men love to run our hands across your fresh soft shaven legs and for obvious reasons. With that said ladies you might want to change up your routine a little. For example I shave my face a lot of times before I go to bed, so that just incase my partner wants to get close or intimate, she is not met with the sandpaper my face becomes. Same holds true for you ladies. If you know (and you know when you want to) you are wanting to be a little more then sleeping partners make the effort to shave those sexy legs of yours. That way your partner will drool to get his/her hands all over those soft legs of yours. Not only do your legs help with getting your partner to touch you, but they also make you feel more sexy. Fresh shaved legs are also a must if you like to wear stockings and I will speak for most of the men out there and say, "We love stockings" The nice part about using your sexy legs is that you don't have to be naked to get the feeling. You can put on a nice pair of shorts and get the foreplay started a little before you make it to the bedroom. Other things you might consider is a nice lotion to use on your legs to make them even softer and smell wonderful.

Chime in and let us know what how important legs are in your relationship by sending comments to me at thecouplesspot@gmail.com

Reevaluate your relationship from time to time.

From time to time we need to take a good look at our relationship. Not to decide if we need to be in it or not. We need to look at it to see what we can do to make it better. Step back and really look for things that the both of you feel would make your relationship better. Maybe looking for a new job, buying a house, spending more time together, or having a child would move your relationship into the next level. We all get comfortable and want everything to stay status quo but this just give your relationship the blahs. Never trying or striving for something new and improved only locks you into the feeling your relationship is boring. This is not a decision you should make alone this one has to be a joint effort. If only one of you decides your relationship needs a major overhaul, you might meet with some pretty tough resistance. Deciding together will help bring you closer and help you meet this goal you are sitting for your relationship. Maybe you want to go on dates more, or get a grip on your finances no matter what you want to improve the battle will be won faster when both of you are working together. Sit down together, today and make notes on things you both want to improve on and then pick one and both of you focus on it until you start to see it improving. After that go to the next item on your list, by continuing to improve your relationship all the time you are sitting yourselves up for a life long relationship of epic nature.

Why is sweaty sexy to some and repulsive to others.

I am curious about why the way sweat is viewed. I have seen commercials that show sweaty men that are suppose to be sexy then we get bombarded with deodorant commercials telling us that sweat isn't sexy at all. Again I am confused. Talking to several others I get almost a 50/50 mix on the subject. The people that are turned off by sweat talk about the odor and the feel of it against their body. They also talk about how it makes hair look nasty, once it gets the hair sticking to the body. On the turned on by sweat side of the ball, the fans talk about how it makes the body glisten, the also associate it with the person working out which is a turn on when someone takes care of their body. Sweaty fans, also seem to like the taste it adds to the skin, giving it a salty flavor. Hot sweaty sex is a big turn on for many people, the love the feeling that they are working hard at making love. I personally am a big fan of the sweaty body but I can see the other side of it also. This is why I want to hear from you what are your feelings on the subject, email your comments to thecouplesspot@gmail.com

Note on the picture, I think sweat running between the breast is one sexy image.

Are you the aggressor in your sex life, if not become one tonight.

Usually one person in a relationship is the more aggressive one when it comes to initiating sex. If that is not you, then tonight I want you to suck it up and be the aggressor. What a shock to your mate if you are the one that hunts them down to make love. This might be a little hard for you but your mate will truly love it. If you can't go full out then at least make some sort of effort. Nothing shows you partner that you love them more then breaking out of your normal routine to show them you care. Wear something sexy, send naughty text messages to them, passionately kiss them when they least expect it, turn off the television and give them a look that cannot be mistaken, what ever you do make it bold and direct statement. Tonight you be the jungle cat stalking it's prey, just don't break the skin when you bite.

Be straight forward with what you want in the bedroom.

It is far to common for people to keep their desires locked away from everyone, and that is okay if you are hiding them from the general public. However if you are in a great relationship with someone you really care about then you need to cue them into your desires. It might be a little nerve racking to tell someone this important to you that you want something a little different in the bedroom, but believe me they are probably feeling the same way. Open up those lines of communication however don't be afraid to say if you are uncomfortable with the suggestion they give. I think you will be pleasantly surprise at the reactions you get to expressing your desires. We all have curiosities and want to experience new things and what better way to do that then to experiment a little in the bedroom. Make sure that if your partner opens up to you with a desire they have that you respond in the correct way. Consider anything that they say, but again don't be afraid to say no if you are totally uncomfortable with it. When you partner opens up to you in the manner make sure you respond with a request of your own, basically trade desires with each other. You know the old saying one hand washes the other, well one hand can role play while they other ties you up, too. Research the request together and makes sure you know all precautions that you might need to perform the request. Sex is an important part of any long term relationship, and spicing it up never hurts it's importance. Now, take a deep breath and tell you partner your desires, this will set the tone for a great relationship where communication is your best friend.

Get out in the cold, so you can warm up together later.

Even though it is winter time for most of us there are still plenty of things for couples to do outside. You can always dress up really warm and go for a exhilarating walk in the cold air. Snow skiing is another way couples can pass the time outside and there are several forms you can participate in. Your normal down hill skiing, sledding, tubing, and cross country skiing are just a few activities that can get the two of you outside, with being able to be together. Building snowmen, making snow angels or just challenge the local kids to a snowball fight. Just make sure to dress warmly and enjoy each others company. Now after you spend all this time out in the cold air, you are going to need to warm up. What better way then to snuggle up together in front of the fireplace sipping hot cocoa while you touch each other. At this time of year nothing is more romantic then enjoying a warm fire with the person you want to be closest to.