Can you live without your partner?

As we age we grow more and more dependent on our partner. Once the children are gone and have their own lives we find ourselves returning to a place that we were at during the early stages of our relationship. We now have time for each other again, time to date, time to ourselves anything we want to do. It is like a second honeymoon. What happens when the that all changes and one of you passes away? In so many cases you see the other partner stop functioning or unable to function as they once did. How many times have you witnessed an older person passing and not long after their partner passes. Losing that love doesn't have to be a downward turn for the other partner. There are things to live for like grandchildren and you can enjoy those things knowing the other partner would have wanted you to. Understand at some point and time one of you will pass before the other, that is the usual way it happens.

My suggestion for couples are to be a couple but be able to function as an individual. Know how to handle all things around your house from the bills to the laundry. Know where the life insurance policies are, and the list of how to get a hold of all the people you both know. Find things to enjoy by yourself, don't stop sharing with your partner but have something for yourself. That thing might be what you need in the event you lose your partner. With all this you need to live each day thankful of the wonderful person your in a relationship with. Get past all those little things that bug you but don't really mean anything in the scope of life. Be strong have your own identity but enjoy your partner all you can.

The Temperature of romance

We all have a specific temperatures that we are comfortable with be it during the day or in the evening when we are trying to sleep. We also all have temperatures that we like to make love in or snuggle at so do a little research and find the best temperatures for you and your partner. Hit the air conditioning if you partner doesn't like sweaty sex. Keep the thermostat turned down cooler in those winter months to encourage your partner to snuggle. Turn the air conditioning down to get your partner into wearing less clothes around the house. Heck you can even turn the heat up in the winter and wear you swimsuits around. Have fun with this little adjusting of the temperature. Make it hot then when you partner complains tell them "Well maybe you should have so many clothes on!" with a raised eyebrow.

Don't use you partner as a punching bag.

Do you direct all your anger at you partner? If so is that fair? Why do we blow our top at our partner? Why don't we direct you anger at the area that causes it? Does work make you anger and you bring it home? These questions I believe that you already know the answer to. You partner does not deserve to be your punching bag. Yes they need to be there to support you when you are having a bad time of it. However if you want to keep your relationship strong you need to try and focus the anger in another way. Maybe exercise would do it for you, or maybe something artistic, heck you can even take it out by having sex. Just to come home and unload on your partner is not fair to them or you. This only creates a feeling of trying to stay out of you way for your partner. Why would they want to be your support if all you do is direct the anger at them? Think about that for a while, then the next time you have a bad day and come home angry try a different approach. Calmly sit down and explain your feelings to your partner, don't raise you voice or throw things. Allow your partner time to process these feelings and help you direct them in positive ways. Not only will the two of you feel better but most likely the problem will become less of a stress to your relationship.

"A relationship without passion is like a sword without a handle" - Zob

The quote in the title of this post bears a lot of weight into how you should be thinking about your relationship. Way to often in life we become comfortable and forget to work at one of the most treasured thing in our life, our relationships. We put them to the side for later or move them to the back burner hoping to get around to them sooner or later. Well this is the wrong way to keep a relationship healthy and active. You should do just the opposite, and let me tell you why. Your relationship dictates all your actions, you might think this is crazy but when you really think about it you know that it is true. After watching the movie The Secret, I soon realized that the power starts with you and those that are immediately involved in your life. This passion, if you will is like a snow ball and gains as it rolls down hill, and without passion you are at the bottom of the hill. How much harder is it to push that enlarging snowball up the hill? Chew on that for a minute. Try it out the next time you get a chance and really put some wonderful effort into your relationship, from every angle. Be loving, be caring, be sexual and be attentive and see what happens. I think you will find that your relationship will grow like a flower that gets all it needs to blossom in the warm summer sun. I am curious to hear from our audience as to how they feel on the subject so drop me a line at thecouplesspot@gmail.com Look forward to your comments.

Setting up your relationship for when it's just the two of you again.

Kids, work, friends, etc. the everyday hustle and bustle that keeps us busy, effects our relationship in many ways. One of these ways is that it takes time away from the two of you being a couple. Sure you find time to spend together, you have a date night, and you even find time to slip in a little one on one in the bedroom. What happens however when all the other distractions go away? Are you ready for the time when it is just the two of you? Think about it what happens when the kids have families of their own, and you are retired? It's back to just the two of you. It can be a highly stressful time if you have to regain that feeling of it just being the two of you. Remember back to a time when the world would just melt away when it was just the two of you, how you ached to get to see one another. Now is the time to start getting your relationship back in order. Start looking for things you can do together, visualize what it will be like when the two of you are alone for extended periods of time, are you going to move to opposite ends of the house or are you going to experience this time hand in hand. We get so caught up in what we are doing sometimes we forget how important our relationship is, we think of each other as an annoyance instead of the person we use to desire attention from. It's not to late make the commitment to get that loving feeling back again, find common interests and start planing together for this future that will come. You can spend your golden years sitting watching television and ignoring each other or with some planning now you can be dancing the tango with the person you fell in love with.