First Date Again and Again and Again - In a Great Way

"I don't know who you are, Henry...but I dream about you almost every night." -- Lucy

We absolutely love this movie.  It is almost 10 years old now, but it is a great one!

Check it out for yourself!

Start a Change Jar!

As a couple it is hard sometimes to fit things into your budget. Especially those things that are not necessities of life. This is why you need to start a change jar. Simply find a jar that can hold lots of coins and start chucking all your loose change into the jar. Here is the important part, stay out of the jar. Don't get into it for change for the vending machine or for other little things that would deplete your new funds. This money is to be used for frivolous things. Things such as vacations, or date night for the two of you. The moment you give in and start extracting money your special times will go right out the door with it. Plus no one counts on the change that accumulates in your pockets so it seems like free and clear money. This way you won't be feeling guilty about taking that vacation or going to that fancy restaurant on only your change. Make sure you get a big enough jar to hold all the fund and set up a savings account to hold it if your jar gets to full. You have to be tough and refuse to dip into the jar but with a little self discipline you shouldn't have to much trouble and when you are on the beach somewhere you will be glad you didn't get into it.

Budgets, budgets, budgets.

Budgets they are a fact of life in a relationship. It seemed so easy to stay on budget before you had a partner and maybe even children. When you only had to worry about yourself and the unknown things that popped up. Now you have to worry about the rest of the people in your family, too. Well here is a great way to start to get used to using a budget. Start out by making a budget for your dates, say you only have like $50 to spend on a evening out. See how the two of you start to work together to figure out where you want to dedicate the most money. Maybe you would rather have a nice dinner so the rest of the night you have to do things on the cheap. Or maybe the food doesn't matter and you eat before you go out and spend the money on movies or at the bar for drinks. This is the fun part and it gets you working together a staple to any happy relationship. Once you start to get your dates within you budget, then branch out and start doing it at the supermarket or when you go shopping. Soon you will have easy conversations when it comes to money. This might not make your finances in the best shape but it will start giving you tools to use to make the most of what you do have, and that is a great relationship.

How much focus do you put in your relationship?

Do you put much focus in your relationship? Are you always looking for things to make it better or are you like the millions that just let it happen. Well I am here to tell you that if you think your relationship just gets better with age, you are wrong. If you talk to couples that have great relationships you will find a common factor they are always looking for something to challenge or inspire their relationship. It might be a new activity for them to share or a trip to a different location. Experimenting with intimacy or finding different date ideas can make your relationship keep that spark that it had in the beginning. You should think about your relationship everyday because it is a constant living breathing part of your life. Even if it is a little as making sure to give that special kiss before leaving for work. Our relationship is the basis for all our happiness when you have a great relationship and it thrives the rest of your life will follow. So put your relationship at the top of your list today and everyday.

Just like a garden you need to cultivate your relationship

Do you think that gardens just grow themselves without any assistance from the farmer? Sure you might get an occasional plant to sprout just by letting them grow wild but with a little care and attention that same plant will grow stronger and bigger. Same goes for your relationship. Are you putting time into your relationship, are you putting effort into it, and are you putting your relationship into perspective with all the other things going on in your life? Do you find yourself talking about things that bother you more then the things that make you happy? Well if you one of those people who let outside influences affect your relationship then you need to take a step back and realize that you are not giving your relationship the sun and water it needs to grow. You are putting a dark cloud over your relationship. How important do your rank your relationship? Most of us would say pretty high maybe behind children, would be the only thing in front of our relationship to most of us. However most of us spend way more time focusing on other things then our relationship. We put extra hours into work, exercise, and many other things then giving our relationships the time and respect it deserve. Basically we take them for granted, this is the fast track to losing this relationship. For example how much time do you spend in preparation for making love to your partner? Now compare that to how much time your spend preparing for work each morning. How much time do you spend on your cell phone when you are out together are you chit chatting with friends, family, or co-workers when you should be focusing on your partner and having a good time with them. I think most of us need to really look at how much effort we are putting into our relationships, and I am sure that most of your out there will feel like you can do more if you try just a little. Now get your watering can and roll up your sleeves and start today cultivating the best relationship you can.

Setting up your relationship for when it's just the two of you again.

Kids, work, friends, etc. the everyday hustle and bustle that keeps us busy, effects our relationship in many ways. One of these ways is that it takes time away from the two of you being a couple. Sure you find time to spend together, you have a date night, and you even find time to slip in a little one on one in the bedroom. What happens however when all the other distractions go away? Are you ready for the time when it is just the two of you? Think about it what happens when the kids have families of their own, and you are retired? It's back to just the two of you. It can be a highly stressful time if you have to regain that feeling of it just being the two of you. Remember back to a time when the world would just melt away when it was just the two of you, how you ached to get to see one another. Now is the time to start getting your relationship back in order. Start looking for things you can do together, visualize what it will be like when the two of you are alone for extended periods of time, are you going to move to opposite ends of the house or are you going to experience this time hand in hand. We get so caught up in what we are doing sometimes we forget how important our relationship is, we think of each other as an annoyance instead of the person we use to desire attention from. It's not to late make the commitment to get that loving feeling back again, find common interests and start planing together for this future that will come. You can spend your golden years sitting watching television and ignoring each other or with some planning now you can be dancing the tango with the person you fell in love with.

Gift Card Yourselves!

We sometimes lose sight of our relationship during last minutes before Christmas. We are thinking of everyone else we care about and sometimes our relationships get pushed to the back behind the family gatherings and parties. To make sure you make up for these missed times during your holiday season, make it a point to purchase a gift card to someplace every time you have to attend one of these functions. This way you know that when the holidays are over you will have more of a reason to go to the places you have gift cards for. Places like restaurants, movie theaters, or even miniature golf. Keep the cards in sight and you will defiantly use them in the up coming months. This way not only do you give yourself a little Christmas Cheer but you also get to catch up on the time you are missing with your special person.

Dates don't always mean you will be alone!

When you get a chance to go on a date with your partner you need to think about it a little before you head out. First of all are you wanting to be alone during the date. If you are want to only focus on each other then you need to avoid places that you might run into people you know. For instance if you choose to go bowling you might run into some friends there and end up spending your date with several people. If you want to be alone then pick places that will let you be away from others. Places such as restaurants where you get your own table and people just can't walk up to you at any point and time, plus they will have their own table to enjoy. Once you have made your decision as to which type of date you want you will be better prepared for the evening. If you decide to go someplace where the public frequents be prepared to run into someone you know. If this does happen then don't shy away from the other people, you don't want to look like snobs. The other night I was at our local bowling center and a young couple came in to get an alley and several of their friends came running up asking them to come bowl with them. The young lady said no lets get our own lane, and while everyone knew they were on a date, it still seemed like a snub to the others. So if you want to be alone on our date go someone place where you can be alone, but don't hold it against your friends if you go to a place that several people frequent it's just not fair to either of you.

Take advantage of 2 for meals

A great way to enjoy a evening out without breaking the bank is to take advantage of the current craze of the all inclusive meals. Several restaurants around are offering a complete meal for $20. Now that is a value for a night out. Now of coarse any drinks are extra, but recently my wife and I went to Chili's and we quite surprised at what we got for $20. We went away feeling full and had enough food left over to eat it for supper that night. Some of the other we went to had scaled down versions of their meals but not Chili's these were full portions. I almost felt kinda guilty getting our meal for this amount. Needless to say we were please and will return to try something different. Not only to toot Chili's horn but you need to look around and check out the specials if it works for you why not save a little money, if you feel bad leave a huge tip like I did.

Click on the title of this post to go to Chili's web site to see what they offer on their $20 special.

Tell me about your great and bad dates.

I am curious as to what constitutes a great date. I want to hear from our viewer about where they have went the turned out to be a great date and where did you go that turned out to be a lousy date. I understand we might get some conflicting data but for the most part I just want to know. It is so hard to pick the right place for that first date, so I would like to be able to pass along some information to those who are about to embark on their first date with someone. For me the first date should be someplace quite that you can talk. Place such as museums or the zoo that give you a chance to walk around and chit chat about the exhibits to get the conversation flowing. My opinion of the worst places to go are crowed clubs or the movies as they tend to be places that you can't converse or that you sit and watch for long periods of time. These are my examples but I want to hear from you so drop me a line at thecouplesspot@gmail.com . I am anxious to hear from everyone.

Watch the Young Kids

Do you ever feel like your getting old! I don't me individually I mean as a couple. Do you still hold hands when you are walking someplace. Do you call each other several times a day. Do you kiss often. Well if you think your relationship is getting old. All you have to do to rekindle part of it is watch some kids. Go to the movies and watch the teenagers that are on a date. See how they act toward each other. You can go anywhere, that teenagers go on dates to find out what is missing in your relationship.

Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of taking kids to practice, getting ready for work, making dinner, we lose site of why we started this relationship in the first place. That being the attraction that brought you together. So slow down a little or set sometime aside to act like teenagers again, I am sure you will be glad you did. Just make sure to have your date home by 10pm.

Recreating Dates

Do you have a special date that you still remember - one that stands out from most of the rest of your dates? Well, I think it is time to recreate that date. Sit down and write all the things you can remember about that special date. It might be the date your partner asked you to marry him/her or your first date. It doesn't matter. Try to remember the little things such as what songs did you hear, who did you see, were there any other people with you. Obviously, the big ones will be where did you go or at what restaurant did you eat. Sit down with all your information and start to put the events in order to the best of your recollection. You might have some challenges. It may be that the place you went for dinner is now out of business or the bar you went to is now a Starbucks. If some of these changes make it impossible to recreate the exact date, then use a substitute. If the dinner was at a pizza joint that is no longer around, just substitute another pizza place. You might want to scope out some places to find the one that most reminds you of the one from the past.

Once you have all of your pieces together and places picked out it's time to ask your special someone out. Ask him/her if he/she remembers the date where you two did this and that. If he/she doesn't, don’t worry. Just tell him/her it is a date you remember, and hopefully, it will jog his/her memory once it begins. On the night of your date actually pick him/her up. You get ready first and then go drive around or something until the correct time to pick him/her up. It sounds kind of corny, but do you remember the butterflies in your stomach standing on the porch knocking on the door. Once he/she answers the door you are now back in time and on that date all over again. Enjoy it for the second time.

I know some couples that have been doing this for a long time. One that I know goes to the same restaurant, where he purposed to her, on their anniversary every year. I also know a couple that met at a concert, and whenever that band is anywhere in the area they make sure to go see them (It's great that they let some of the bands out of the old folks home long enough to put on a show or two). I have also heard of people going to sporting events to recreate dates, parks, doing the same vacations, the list goes on and on. I actually have some friends that go to the same hotel every year and even get the same room, they book it a year in advance before they check out.

This might all sound silly to some of you, but remembering your past good feelings never hurts a relationship, and this is a great way to rekindle anything you might have lost since that special date.