5 Reasons Sex Can Be Super Exciting After Midlife

Sex After Mid-Life

5 Reasons It Can Be Super Exciting and Hot!

American culture teaches us to believe that we are only sexy in our 20s, 30s and maybe – if you are lucky, 40s.  We are taught that having an active and exciting sex life is something that we will no longer have once we hit middle age and beyond.  Well, screw that (pun intended)! 

I am going to share with you 5 reasons why sex after middle age can be even hotter, sexier, spicier, and more exciting than when you were younger.  Yes, sometimes there are medical conditions that can affect your sex life, but you can seek help for those.  You can find natural methods to assist with physical conditions as well as finding assistance within in western medicine.  It can be freaking amazing and here’s why. 

1.    Experience!  - Okay, you have gone through your teens and 20s trying to figure out what the heck all the fuss was about.  Hopefully, you enjoyed a lot of wonderful lovemaking during those years and had a loving committed partner for part (if not most) of that time.  Then, you moved into your 30s and 40s and hopefully, still had wonderful sex around having kids and a career.  Well, guess what?  All these years gave you a lot of experience.  You had the opportunity to figure out what you do and don’t like when it comes to gettin’ busy.  Boy, oh boy, that can come in handy now!

2.    No Kiddos! – Most likely, if you had children, they are grown or at least not little anymore.  So, now you don’t have to worry about little ones bursting into your bedroom and there is a very good chance that you can get back to making love in any room in the house.  Plus, you aren’t as apt to be stressed and worn out due to running them to this practice and that event and trying to help get their homework done.  Yay!  Stress level has dropped!

3.    More Time!  - By now you are hopefully more established in your career and don’t need to spend so many hours working.  As mentioned above, you aren’t as likely to be running kids everywhere.  There is time for the two of you again.  Time to date (whether or not you are already in a relationship or looking for a new one).  The more time you spend together the more likely you are to bond on a deeper level and then….yep – rip each other’s clothes off and spend some naked time together!

4.    Extra Money! – In those earlier years, your finances may have been a bit tighter.  Now you are, hopefully, better off financially and have more disposable income to spend on dates, romantic excursions, clothes/shoes that make you feel sexy, and even more adult toys/lubes.  *Ah, reflect back to “experience”: you know what you like or you are more willing to find out now – so, spend some money on high quality sex toys and enjoy hotter, new, different, intimate play with your lover.

5.    Sexy & Healthy! – The more pleasurable sex (particularly in a committed relationship) you enjoy the more oxytocin that is released into the body.  This is the “feel good” hormone.  It eases pain and just makes you happier in general.  And, even more exciting is the fact that as oxytocin is released in the body more oxytocin receptors are created!  Woo Hoo!  That means the more sex you have the better and better you can feel.  Of course, on top of all that is the fact that making love is a spiritual connection even if you never intend for it to be.  Therefore, not only does your physical body become healthier and happier, but so does your soul.  How can you beat that?

So, for those who have told you that having a great sex life past middle age is practically hopeless, you now have five reasons why they are wrong.  Experience!  No kiddos!  More time!  Extra money!  Sexy & healthy – physically and spiritually!  We typically live so much longer nowadays.  Take the time to enjoy this second half of your life and fill it with playful experiences – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  Honor your life and your sweetie’s by engaging in more powerful, playful passion.

Janelle Alex, Ph.D. © 2013  

Co-Founder of Sexy Challenges

www.sexychallenges.com

Get busy. Get spiritual. Laugh your ass off!

Kiss someplace new tonight.

Tonight make it a point to kiss someplace new. Now that can mean a couple of things for starters it could mean that you kiss a different part of their body. Try out some different spots on the body and see the reaction your partner has. For example kissing on the inside of jointed areas can be a huge turn on to some people. The inside of the arm where the elbow bends, or the back side of the knee can both be very sensual places that don't get a lot of attention. The hands or feet are other areas that can be very sensitive to a kiss. The point being pick a spot on your lovers body you have never kissed and kiss it. Now another way you can go about this is find a place in your house or neighborhood that you have never had a kiss before. Maybe it is the attic, or the basement. You could go to a local park or downtown in the middle of the busy time. Where ever you chose the point it to show your partner you want to experience them everywhere. This can become a habit. I know a couple who's goal is to kiss in every state in the United States or America. You can seek out special kissing places such as waterfalls, scenic views or even sporting events. What ever floats your boat or makes your lips tingle go for it. Happy kissing day to you and your partner.

Search out new things for lovers.

Relationships are a common ground most of the time. Their is safety and a routine that you start to follow. You get sucked into following the same schedule, eating the same things, and following the patterns that are comfortable. I want to suggest breaking out of those routines. Find something different to do. Take a class together or jus take off driving with no place in mind to go just end up someplace. When we were dating new experiences were all around us and part of that was trying to find out what your partner was like or what they enjoyed. Why does this have to stop take that energy you used and drag your partner to a cooking party or a dance class. Stop falling into the same pattern of wake, work, eat, sleep. Start experiencing life together as if you were dating again. You should make it a point to relearn your partner everyday.

Ring of Fire

Want a little something to spice up your sex life but not something that cost a bundle? You don't want to dress up and you aren't into the bondage thing. You just want a little something to make it a tad different. Well that is when you need to check into a cock ring. The premiss of the cock ring is to contain the blood flow inside the penis for a more extended period of time. The hope in this is to allow the woman time to satisfy her needs as the penis stays hard longer. Ejaculation is usually delayed a bit and the veins of the penis add a little more ridges to stimulate the sexual parts it comes in contact with. Now cock rings can be dangerous so always read the instructions and don't push the time limit after all you don't want to damage your penis. The added size of the penis while it might seem small is just what the doctor ordered to bring a different light into your sex life. While like anything cock rings can get quite expensive but the basic models will fit into anyone's budget. Try one out today and see how just a little variation in your love making can add lots of excitement.

Click here to get your own cock ring.
TitanMen Stretch-to-Fit cock ring - Cock ring - EdenFantasys

Brush up on your sex technique.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Read something that inspires you.

Reading is one of the best things you can do. Not only for yourself but for your relationship, also. Once a month pick a book that either has something to do with an added area of your relationship or a self help type of book. Not that you have to follow the suggestions of the book word for word or make a complete lifestyle change. However I am sure you can find bits and pieces of the book that you might enjoy in your life. Things like tantric practices, building self esteem, ways to improve conversations, are great ideas when you are searching for books. If you are on a budget you can find older book in bargain bins or Amazon.com has lots of books that basically you purchase for a penny and just pay the shipping and handling on. Click on our amazon side bar and find a book that is just right for you. What I like about amazon is their search feature. Just type in a suggestion and you will soon have thousands of books to choose from. Your library is another option but in my dealings with our local library is that they tend to shy away from books about things having to do with sex, and or relationships issues. If you have lots of friends that read you can even start a book co-op where you all purchase a book then put it into the community for anyone to read after you finish it. By reading different things we keep our minds open to things the might really help our relationship down the line or at the current time. You can either read the book together or apart. If you are reading a book leave it out so that your partner can see what you are reading. This act alone will spark some conversations that might get you both thinking a little differently.

How much focus do you put in your relationship?

Do you put much focus in your relationship? Are you always looking for things to make it better or are you like the millions that just let it happen. Well I am here to tell you that if you think your relationship just gets better with age, you are wrong. If you talk to couples that have great relationships you will find a common factor they are always looking for something to challenge or inspire their relationship. It might be a new activity for them to share or a trip to a different location. Experimenting with intimacy or finding different date ideas can make your relationship keep that spark that it had in the beginning. You should think about your relationship everyday because it is a constant living breathing part of your life. Even if it is a little as making sure to give that special kiss before leaving for work. Our relationship is the basis for all our happiness when you have a great relationship and it thrives the rest of your life will follow. So put your relationship at the top of your list today and everyday.

Change your time for Sex!

Do you always have sex at the same time? Are you bedtime people and that is the only time that you will make love? Well I want to suggest making a time change. Try making love at a different time of the day then normal. I like to call it vacation sex. Breaking out of your routine might make your love making a little more exciting. Plus by being open to different times you allow yourself to avoid issues that might keep you from having sex all together. When the kids are at school is a time that is seldom used for sex, but allows you the freedom of not being interrupted or having to wait for the older kids to go to bed. Also you don't have to worry about being tired or the differences in your sleeping schedules.

Morning sex is the best for some people it gives them a great start to their day. It's like getting up and doing your exercises before you shower. I would suggest this to anyone that likes to got to bed really early. The only problem with morning sex is the death breath you collect during the night but that can easily be cured with a trip to the bathroom or now they have the little portable toothbrushes that you could sit right on your headboard.

I don't care when you enjoy having your sex, night time, afternoon, morning they are all wonderful times that have their own unique positive qualities. What I want to say is don't put off having sex if the time you enjoy is not available for some reason then pretend your on vacation and have vacation sex anytime you can find.

Time for some change

Sometimes in even in a relationship we need some change. No I am not talking about looking for a new partner, I am talking about breathing some life into your relationship. Do things a little differently then you have been doing them for the past years. Switch sides that you sleep on in bed, or change chores at the house, these types of little things can make your relationship seem fresh and new. Get a new hair style, pick up a new way to exercise, or rearrange the house all of these little differences can make a world of difference in your life. Go through all you clutter and clean it out make room for new and exciting things. Get all those old pictures out of storage go through them and make a scrapbook or put them on the computer. Buy new sheets for the bed, or switch all the cabinets around not only does this make your relationship better but it will help your mind also. New positions during sex and trying new toys can bring that thrill back to your sex life. So, you see change is a very good thing it keeps our relationship fresh and exciting. Look around today and see what you can change you might just get that little spark you've been looking for.

Be ready to be flexible.

Being a couple is full of compromises. When you have two or more peoples lives living out of the same house then you really have to be prepared for those unexpected things that pop up. Way back when a time when you were not it a relationship you only had to worry about things that directly effected you. Now that you are in a relationship you have to worry about not only your issues but your partners as well. Not to mention if you have kids that you have to be really flexible to keep up with them. You might have made plans to go out on a date with your partner when all of the sudden your child finds out they made the spelling bee championships on the same night. Whoops, change of plans, you will now be attending the spelling bee. However, here is the kicker to keep your relationship strong you have to reschedule that evening out for the two of you. Maybe even make it later in the evening or the next night. The one thing you can to is forget about it. That puts you on the fast track of not doing anything to improve or make your relationship exciting. Compromises will arise all the time but you have to bend and twist with them to make it all work out. Because it all is important.

You don't have to fit a type.

One thing people believe is that you have to fit a specific sexual type. The thing that if you are into bondage you always do that or that if you are into role play you constantly have to dress into character. Well this is crazy, I know that couples can hit several different moods that will change their sexual desires and fantasies as they love and grow together. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be tied up one time and wanting to be passionate and slow the next. This is the spice of life. You can keep your relationship moving forward by understanding this important issue. Say you partner likes you to dress in leather, that doesn't mean that every time you have sex you have to be the leather person. I personally have several different tastes and think that it makes me love sex even more by switching them up. I don't want to get into a pattern where it is the same constantly. Mix it up a bit, not only does this make things interesting but it allows you to try new things that might become high on your favorites list. Sex is the glue that hold all the other important parts of a relationship together. It is the basic nature of our attraction, so put it high on your list. Try different and fun things your partner and you will be glad you did.

Mix things up a bit.

It is so easy to get into a routine way of doing things. We eat lunch at the same time, our alarm goes off at the same time every morning, and we go to bed at a certain time each day just to mention a few of the ways we fall into a routine. Now some thing you are not going to be able to adjust like what time you have to be at work, and other things that have certain times attached to them. However you can mix things up within your home life. Stay up late and sleep in every once in a while. By mixing up the way we do things we get our brains out of their routine, which is good for our overall health. Do things in different orders then you usually do. Have a late lunch, or an early dinner so that you can do something different during the day. Mix up the times you make love, don't fall into the trap that the only time you can make love is right before you go to bed, chance it up and do it when you wake up one day, or when the mood hits you in the afternoon. If you feel really adventurous make a lunch date to make love. Other things you can do is change the times you normally go on date, check out a movie during the day, or meet in the morning for a nice walk. Anything that you do that has a normal time of day attached to it can be moved around or altered to keep you fresh and exciting. For instance you could cook breakfast items for dinner sometime, or record your favorite shows and watch them at a more opportune time during the day. Keeping things in a more chaotic order might make everything seem different and more exciting, if you stay up late to do laundry while watching your favorite movie might make this chore exciting.

Is Foreplay Foreign to you?

Foreplay is always in everyone’s sexual vocabulary but do you really enjoy it or is it just part of the process. In my opinion foreplay should be a large part of any sexual experience. When you think about it the actual act of sex doesn’t last very long, but when you add the foreplay in you can make sex last a very long time. Most women can benefit from extended foreplay as in most cases it takes women a little longer to get heated up. You should explore many different types of foreplay and don’t get into a routine of doing the same thing over and over. This is easy to do when we find something that works. Set up signals or simply say when you like something, unless your partner is a mind reader they might not automatically know what feels good to you Remember this also, foreplay can encompass the whole body not just the genitals. Any were from the feet to the scalp can be an erogenous zone. The one performing the foreplay can use different parts of their body to heighten the mood, fingers, tongues, and lips are the normal ones but feet and forearms work to stimulate places also. A good thigh position can enhance your foreplay in many ways. If you want to know more pick up some reading material that will help you explore erogenous areas on the body. Another great idea is to set up an amount of time before any penetration can happen, I would suggest a half hour to start with and see what happens. Remember foreplay is for you and for you partner so use it to the max.

Get Some Culture.

Relationship are build on similar likes and dislikes at the start. As we mature though these things might change a little and your relationship needs to chage with them. For instance you might have enjoyed punk rock music as a teenager when you and your sweety started dating. Now that you are 30 years old that might not be a common interest between the two of you. As we get older we need to find new things that we can add to our relationship to keep us connected. I want to challenge you to find some other culture to add to your relationship as it blossoms. Go see a syphony or a broadway show. Eat at some different types of resturants, or try something you have never tried together. Take a white water rafting trip or bike down a mountain. When you complete each new adventure assess it and see if it is something you might want to do again. You might find out you really hate it but unless you try you don't know that for sure. Find out what other couples are doing and get some ideas from them, you might even find something you can do together such as sailing or rock climbing. The possiblities are endless and so will be your love if you keep it fresh.

Make love on the opposite end of the bed.

You know how everyone always says they want more adventure in their love making. They want to try new positions and experiences. Well most people are under the impression that the new positions will bring then to a extraordinary climax. This might happen but most of the time the climax is the same it just take a different amount of time to achieve it. Well if you want to do something a little different in the bedroom but you are not a contortionist or into any suspension gadgets, then this little trick my help you our. Most of you make love in a normal position with your head up near the headboard. What I am suggesting is to rotate and put your heads down at the other end. Not only will it seem like a new position you view will be different leading you to believe you are in a different sexual position. Now the bed has four sides and I would suggest taking turns on all four sides. If you go for the woman on top position then you can do the same thing and get different looks at another four positions. It might not matter to some of the guys who just focus on the breast in this position but give it a try. Let me know what you think and how often you rotate your position.

To much of a good thing...is a bad thing

You know when you do something that really works well. Like say you bring your partner flowers, or take them to that special restaurant. Well it works so well you can't wait to do it again. Well don't, taking something that is special and doing it more often takes away it's special feeling. For example buying your partner flowers as mentioned above is great for anniversaries but if you buy them flowers ever week it takes away it's luster. You have to make sure you don't overdue anything that works well. I suggest taking the twice a year approach. If you have something that works really well in your relationship and makes your partner feel special. You should wait at least six months before you do that activity again. This way there is no fear it will become boring and mundane.

This works in you sexual adventures as well. Yes we all have things we like every time we make love. I am looking for the special activities, like maybe dressing up, or acting out a fantasy. If you haven't figured it out yet variety helps promote great couples. So from your family activities to your alone activities you need to mix them up a little. Excitement only last so long on any new thing, just watch a child that gets a new toy. They won't let go of it when the first take it out of the package but about a week later they might not be able to find it. Let's keep our relationship where we can find it, and mix it up a little.

New and exciting always beats normal and boring.