Being a Leader In Your Relationship Can Be Sexy!

We had a blast talking with Blair Glaser a few days ago.  Watch now!

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. & Rob Alex, M.Sc. talked with Blair Glaser, psychotherapist, writer and consultant, today about leadership roles in relationships. They dug in a little bit into their personal relationship as they are business partners as well as a couple. What does being a CSO (Chief Sexual Officer) or CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in your relationship mean? Find out more about Blair and her programs at http://www.blairglaser.com.

Brush up on your sex technique.

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Anal Play

Anal play is an often over looked aspect of love making. People think it will be dirty or that it is wrong. Well I am here to tell you that it can heighten you love making beyond the norm. There are an extreme amount of nerve ending around the anus thus making it a pleasure center. Several people find that anal stimulation during sex is a real turn on. If you are uncomfortable with insertion just playing or rimming the anus is a stimulation that can make your sex more exciting. Butt Plugs are a great addition to anyones sexual arsenal but make sure anything you are sticking up your butt has a flared base. Taking a trip to the hospital to retrieve that vibrator could be a little embarrassing. When you first start to experiment with anal play make sure to take it slow and use lots of lubrication. Your butt doesn't lubricate itself so lubrication is a must for you anal play. Stop when ever there is pain and remove inserted items slowly as a safety feature. Guys don't be afraid of this it does not make you a homosexual if you enjoy anal play plus it might give you some insight into why some men enjoy being homosexual. If you have ever hear of milking your prostate then this is the way to get to that area. Milking the prostate while some find it most enjoyable is also a great way to protect yourself from prostate problems later on. Together you should search the net and find some toys to play with or use your best item, that being your fingers. Again make sure to pick up lots of your favorite lubrication and have at it. Enjoy and believe me you won't be disappointed.

Click our side bar to go to Eden Fantasys for the best anal toys available.

Don't just put anything up there!

A vagina is a wonderful thing, it is amazing the amount of pleasure it can produce and take. However, you can't just be sticking anything up there. There is a ph balance that need to be kept at a normal level or optimal health. Introducing things that disrupt this balance can be harmful to our female partners. Infections can be caused by disrupting this balance and that is no fun for anyone. How can you avoid these painful mistakes? Well for starters don't stick anything up the vagina that is not designed to go up there. Food items should not be introduced into the vagina and even sex toys can be made of poor materials that are not good for the inner workings of our women. You vagina is designed to produce it's own lubrication so even lubrication should be checked out before you use it. Different women will have different effects so you can't just ask Sally what lube she uses, because you ph balance might not be the same as hers. So as you start to experiment with you sexuality make sure you are taking it slow and introducing things at a safe rate. Don't use 20 different things the first time you insert something into the vagina pick something and make sure it will work. When picking out something to use inside your vagina make sure the material it is made of is safe metal, glass or medical grade silicon can all be safe materials to use of insertion. We want you to loads of great fun sex but we also want you to be safe and cautious so that you can have lots more great fun sex.

We Love BOOBS. and our lady partners.

We here at the couples spot love boobs. We think they are amazing they can be fun and exciting for both partners. They can be a complete turn on but for many woman they can be a great source of stress and concern. Breast Cancer is a serious concern for any woman, it can rob them of their life. We love our partners so as the protectors we men like to be (and some women, too) make sure you suggest to your partner to get a mammogram it might not seem like a great present to get them one for your anniversary. However showing that you care about them and giving them peace of mind goes a long way. You should also encourage then to do regular self examinations in the shower. Noticing any lumps early is the best way to combat this major killer of women. Make it part of your foreplay if you like, that way you as the partner has a hand in noticing anything different, because we know how much attention you want to show your partners breasts! We joke about this but regular breast play with your lover might help detect breast cancer very early on. The women in our lives are special beyond belief so do your part to protect them from this killer. THINK PINK.

The thrill of getting caught.

Remember those days long ago when you where in high school and you learned to be stealth with you sexual activities. Not matter if it was masturbating in the bathroom or having you first sexual adventure in the basement. Part of the thrill was not getting caught. Unless you have children that venture into your room at any time then that thrill of getting caught has long since passed. You know have privacy and all the time you need to have amazing sex, but still in the back of our minds we long for that thrill of getting caught. You can rekindle that feeling between the two of you by sitting up some fantasy to bring it back. Set it up so you partner walks in while you are masturbating then once they find you have them ask you if you can help or watch. You can be daring and try to make love in more public places but with the fear of getting arrested I would not advise this. If you want to get the thrill of making love in a place you might get caught and arrested then look to the family activities. Times such as family Christmas parties or summer cookouts you can find a room not occupied and well you know the rest. At least if you get caught here you don't have to appear in court you just get labeled the couple that can't keep their hands off each other by the family.

A vibrator for Him?????

When you in a spot to focus on intimacy there are several things that you just assume are the normal and don't question them. One of those such subjects is that vibrators are just for women and while they are great for women, they can be used on your gentlemen friends also. Think for a minute, a vibrator is designed to stimulate your senses no where does it say that it can only be used by a woman or on a woman. Vibrators can be used for simple massage if nothing else. It just so happens that they are great for stimulating the clitoris of a woman. Have you ever thought about using it on the taint of a man? This area seems to get forgotten in most intimate settings but using a vibrator on it can push your man over the edge. A vibrator can also be used on a man's penis, his scrotum, or even his anus to add pleasure to your foreplay. Ladies it is time to share you pleasure instruments with you male partners, you can even us it at the same time by putting it between both of you in areas that would be touching. One couple will insert the man's erect penis into the woman and then use the vibrator on the part of his shaft on the outside of her and not only does he get the good vibes but she feels them also as they are transferred from his penis to her vagina. Do a little experimenting and see what works best for the two of you, make sure to email me with anything that you find really works well and we will pass it along to the other readers.

Couples Dice - Every couples should have some.

I am sure you have seen them sometime in your life. Maybe you already have some in your possession. They are couples dice and they are a great item for every couple to have. They are simple and basic but they can get your motor running in a hurray. Basically they are set of dice that instead of number or dots on them have actions and body parts listed on their six sides. The first one has actions like lick, suck, kiss, rub, etc and the second one has body parts like hand, breast, neck, genitals, etc on it's sides. You roll both dice and do the action on the body part that is rolled. Pretty basic, everyone can figure this game out. You can however make your own more advanced form of this game by simply corresponding the numbers on a regular set of dice to sexual acts or chores to make it more exciting. Playing a game to get your blood pumping isn't that bad of idea after all it adds a little chance into your relationship and gives you that thrill of gambling as you watch the dice decide your fate for the night. Again you can pick these dice up at almost any specialty store, I have even seen the in gas stations but they truly are a great way to put a little extra into your love life with out breaking the bank.

Halloween is coming which means it is a great time to get into a little role play

Some couples enjoy a little role playing all through out the year. However it seems a lot easier to get into it around Halloween. Costumes are readily available during this time of year, even at your local discount store you can pick something simple up. A little change or something different is great for your relationship. Even if you just pick up a silly wig or a fake mustache you can give a night a little different zing. Maybe your one of those reserved people that thing by dressing up as someone or thing different means your partner doesn't find you attractive and wants something different. Let's put some thought into that, buy doing different things to spice up your life, wouldn't that make your relationship better and stronger? In my opinion, yes. You can even get the full blown costume at many online shops complete with all the accessories. The important thing to realize is that everyone has fantasies and catering to these fantasies not only shows your partner that you love them but it makes your relationship that much stronger. Think about it this way if you partner is getting his/her fantasies met at home why would they ever look else where. Now break out those handcuffs and that little sexy police outfit you have and have some fun frisking someone.

Results are in on the Hairy Chest Debate

Well we have our results form the hairy chest question. 68% of our viewers would rather have a smooth chest then a hairy one to snuggle up with. Now gentlemen before you start shaving down most of the participants on this panel said that if their man had a hairy chest they would enjoy it just the same. Since most of us don't have naturally clean chests it takes a little work for you to keep your chest nice and smooth. After a couple of days you will start to have stubble just like other areas of your body. Women don't like the stubble it is worse then having longer hair on your chest, according to them. Make sure you are ready to make the commitment if you start shaving your chest it will soon fall into an everyday event just like the other areas you shave.

Is there room for fetishes in a relationship?

Can you have a fetish and still be in a committed relationship? The answer is definitely, yes. You just have to keep the fetish inside the realm of your relationship. You cannot have a fetish of having sex with two people at the same time if your partner does not want that. My opinion is that bringing someone else into your relationship is not a good idea. You can however have a foot fetish with your partner. A fetish that only includes your partner and you can be a great secret the two of you share. If you like to role play or dress up a little that can definitely add some spark to your relationship. Have you ever seen the newer Batman movies with Catwomen in them? A cat suit can be very sexy or a Batman suit heck even a little lone ranger mask can add a little excitement. Hi Ho trigger away. Think about something that totally turns you on about your partner. Then run with that idea maybe his but drives you wild then buy him some underwear that has the ass cut out. Maybe you again have a foot fetish about your wife then buy her open shoes or special toe nail polish. As long as your fetish doesn't hurt anyone or your relationship it can be a very special bond for the two of you. If you are uncomfortable with a partners fetish then let them know maybe you can find a compromise that will excite you both. Now go shut your bedroom door and enjoy your fetish after all it is you and your partner world once that door is shut. You might want to lock it if you have children however you don't want to explain why mommy or daddy is tied to the bed!!!! lol

Slip into somehting sexy, MEN?????

We are bombarded with sexy lingerie for women. We see it almost everyday, either in the mail or upon the television it is always in our face. I bet at least once a week I get a catalog from Victoria's Secret with scantly clad women adorning each page (it makes great ready material) However when you think of something sexy for a man to wear, you don't get a whole lot of ideas that pop into your head. Men it is hard for us to find something sexy to wear to make our partners do a double take on us.

Men today I am challenging you to find something sexy to wear to bed with your partner. The basic thought is your typical silk boxer shorts. The are great but don't leave make that sexy of a statement unless your partner touches them. Try to find out something that would turn you partner on. Are they a big sports fan? Then get some boxers with their favorite team on them. Purchase a cop uniform if you partner finds cops sexy. Try to find something that you can use so the next time you ask them to put on something sexy you can say "I did it for you"

As always have fun with it and go a little overboard. Life is way to short to be serious all the time. Take advantage of every opportunity you have.

Don't forget about your hands.

You might not be able to guess that this post is about oral sex, by the title. I know that people enjoy using toys and vibrators during oral sex, but I feel they are not using the best sex toy, which would be your hands. These hands of your are great for stimulating areas on the body and that should not stop just because you are performing oral sex. Thing about all the thing you can do with your hands while you are pleasuring you partner. Touch is such a turn on, that if should be used to it's full advantage. Reach up and play with her breasts or his nipples, find their erogenous zones and use them as extra sensations during your act. Places like the backs of your knees, grab their ankles, massage their hips are some great suggestions. No pun intended but feel them out and find out places that might help send them over the edge. You can also use your hands for extra stimulation on the genitals. Remember all those nerve endings around the anus, use them to your advantage. Some women like penetration, while you are performing oral sex, and any number of your fingers can help. The scrotum and testicles are very easy to play with while you give him oral sex, and ladies don't be afraid to play with his anus, he just might enjoy it, too.

Use a little trial and error to see what works best for the two of you. One of the biggest complaints people have about oral sex is that it takes too long to get their partner to orgasm. Well you just might speed things up a little by hitting some of their trigger points with your hands. What sets us apart from most animals is our hands, and the wonderful things we can do with them. So next time you are ready for a little oral sex make sure you stretch your hands out who knows where they will end up.

A Hint of Role Play

In most couples it seems that one partner is a little hesitant to embark on role playing. For starters role playing can be fun and is a very healthy part of a relationship. It doesn't mean your partner wants someone else or that you are not good enough. It just means they want to spice things up a bit. If you are that partner that pulls back from role play a little, I want you to try and overcome your fear. Once you can get past it I am sure you will enjoy looking or acting a little different with your partner.

So here is my suggestion to those reluctant for role playing. Start out very small things like wearing a wig or trying to use a foreign accent, could be exciting. Maybe just go out and pick up a simple mask that just covers your eyes, you know like the Lone Ranger wore. There are endless little things that can make love making more exciting for both of you. At the very bottom of the scale you could just go out and get some sexy new underwear and surprise your lover, or some sexy stockings. Men you can change your facial hair or get a uniform shirt to surprise your partner. Get a new haircut, rent a car for the evening, or just wear something you would never wear. Doing something different will make your partner do a double take at you.

You can always move up if you start to get comfortable and you don't always have to include role play into your sex life. Heck we do it sometimes just for fun calling each other different names of speaking differently in public can be exciting also. One thing couples thing of when you say role play is that they have to have elaborate costumes and totally get into the role. Well you don't, you just have to find a level at which you are comfortable at and that is good enough. Heck something as simple as wearing different nail polish might drive your partner wild.

Now get out there and find something you are comfortable with and do it. Chances are you might enjoy it more then you think. Clink on the title of this post for some cute and fun costumes to spice things up.

Role play may just be a name chage away!

Are you happy with your name? I hear so many people say I hate my name. Well my suggestion is to change it for a day. Pick a day when you and your partner are going out of town shopping or to eat, this helps avoid confusion with people that might know you. Then on your way to your destination decide on a name you would think you enjoy having. If your partner is game pick a name for them also. Then the rest of the day you have to call each other by that name. Yes it's silly but it might just help you step out of your normal personality and allow you to act differently then you usually act. The best part about it is, unless you run into people you know, no one knows the little secret the two of you have.

You could even make it your first date, between the two new people you have become. This is where a little role play might come in to the day. Make up information about you new identity and your background. Be outrageous as you tell your new partner about silly jobs you have had or dramatic events that have shaped your life. You might just find out some wishes your partner might have but be to embarrassed to say when they are their normal self. Who knows the names might even become pet names you use for each other.

Our life's are so busy and jammed with events, sometimes it is good to step outside of ourselves and see the world through someone else's eyes. Even if they are our eyes with just a different name attached.

Chore List! (Click here to find out more about sexy chore play)

Here is a fun way to get extra chores done around the house. Make a list of chores that you don't do everyday. Now take that list and attach a sexual act to each one. The harder the chore the more exotic the act should be. Examples might be if your partner cleans out the whole garage you would tie them up and pleasure them in ways they never imagined. If they change the bed sheets you might offer to perform oral sex on them. If they wash the windows you could wear some new lingerie for them. The list can be as long as the number of chores you need to complete. Guys this is not just for the ladies you can make a list also. Say for example you would like to have your car cleaned you could offer her a nice massage or the use of a massage!!! Keep the list and pay the cost whenever your partner gets the job done. You will be amazed at how much work you will be able to get done for the right price.

The wonderful painting was created by Farik Osman and is titled "Miss Sexy Chore"

Music Time - and time to get out of the soneage(Click here to download itunes)

I hope if your reading my blog here that you are pretty well versed with today's technology. Obviously you have a computer and I hope you have an ipod or another portable music device. If not go out to the store and get one today! My post today if about getting some great music for the two of you to listen to together and with an ipod it is so much more easy to do that then ever.

Let me start with asking you how many times do you get in the car for a trip and you have to decide who's music your going to listen to as you drive. We usually make it so the driver gets to choose the music. Well I want to suggest the two of you getting together to find songs that you both enjoy listening to. With the ipod it's very simple to download songs and you can even created different play list so that when you are not together you can listen to that music that only you like. So we are going to make the play list that you both like. You have to sit down together at the computer and pick an era or music style you both enjoy. iTunes will have an essentials list of the music from that ear or style. Next you and your sweety just go down the list and pick the songs you both love. Nix any that one of the partners doesn't like. This in itself can be fun seeing if you remember the songs and can name the artists. Now the next time you both get in the car to travel won't it be nice when you both can sing to the same song and enjoy it. It will make your trip so much better.

One word of caution ipods are addictive, so if possible you might want to get two or I might have to do a post on how not to fight over the ipod.

Bored Games!

I think at some point and time in everyone's life they have played some type of board game. They can be challenging and fun. Some however are long a drawn out such as monopoly, for example. Well to make your game a little more exciting put a wager on it. Your wager can be anything from household chores to sexual challenges. The point being put something on the line as you play the game it make you take a whole lot more interest in it. A good idea I have found also is to set a limit for the game. You can say we will play for an hour and the one who has the most money at that time is the winner or you might say whoever reaches so many points wins. The point of this is to get the bore out of the board games. In today's society most people don't have 3 or 4 hours to play a game so just reduce the time a little and it makes it more fun.

If you are having trouble finding a way to make your board games more exciting. Then you need to do what a friend of mine suggests, and that is to put the word strip in front of the game title. That will always add a little excitement.