Sleeping Together (and I do mean sleeping)

You know what I find very sad? I know several older couples that sleep in separate beds. Some that even sleep in separate rooms. What happens in a relationship when you end up sleeping apart and or in separate rooms? What type of relationship is that? In my opinion, being close and touching while you sleep is a way to recharge your relationship. The security that your partner is close and the feeling you get when he/she touches you should be something you crave in a relationship. Cohabitation is not a option in a relationship. Why would anyone want that? I have heard many reasons: he moves too much, he snores, she keeps me awake, I want more room, and on and on.

Well, I think that with time a couple's sleeping and moving patterns become adjusted to each other. I think that your movements while asleep are routine and that sleeping together you get in sync with each other. Now, if you resist this then you might have trouble sleeping with your partner, but if you think of all the positives you might think of it a little differently. Think of the way he/she smells and the feel of his/her skin.  Think about how much you love to feel your partner's touch or that if you want to get a little frisky your partner is right there.

The warmer summer months make it a little tougher to sleep all snuggled up, but it is great in the winter.  Shared body heat can help you stay as warm as you want.  The next time your partner is asleep look over at him/her and think about how peaceful he/she looks.  Snuggle up and enjoy the blissfulness of slumber cuddled up to your beloved partner. 

Abundant Love

Sometimes we forget that our love is one of the most important feeling we have. It makes us do things we might not normally do. When we need a shot in the arm our partner is the one we need it from and it comes in the form of love. Sometimes it work in mysterious ways and we don't even know it. Have you ever done something nice for your partner and not wanted any praise for it? This is a true sentiment of your feelings. Try it sometime and see where it gets you. Slip some money in their purse or wallet and let them find it sometime, or bring home their favorite meal without asking, you could even clean their car while they are gone and maybe they won't even notice but you have the satisfaction of knowing you did something nice for your partner. Believe me this has a great way of returning to you, think of how you will feel when you find something your partner has planet or done for you without your knowledge. In this matter you love become so abundant and spread through out your whole relationship and universe. Love is something that only grows bigger the more you give it away so give away a lot and you will be loved more then you ever dreamed.

Visualize The Relationship You Want

To make your relationship better try this technique.  Visualize the way you want your relationship to be. Sounds simple, doesn't it. Well, besides visualizing the perfect relationship you need to look at what you can do to get your relationship to that level. You see, no matter how much you wish you could change your partner, you can't. He/she has to want to change, and if he/she balks at your attempts to change him/her then you become at odds with each other. And, that is never good in a relationship.

Make sure when you visualize that you make note of what you have to do to get to this point. It will put things into perspective for you and start your relationship heading in the direction you want. Change can only start with you!

Sexual Self Image

One of the most common ares of concern when dealing with sexual difficulties is a poor sexual self image. Our minds are bombarded with images of perfect bodied individuals have sex on the television or big screen. We see people with no body fat, muscles that bulge, and boobs that are firm and perfect. Now let us examine that to start with most of these people have either had surgery to enhance their body image or have use a substance like steroids to get the look they desire. What does that tell you? It says they had a poor body image and took steps in their mind to correct it. We all know the effects of these cosmetic improvements and it usually come back to haunt them. Now lets look inward to ourselves. For starters we are all beautiful, who says what is perfect and how we should look? WE DO!!! For our sexual self image I hear so much of how people have to have the light off to have sex and that they don't want their partner of all people to see them naked? This is crazy, the one person that will except you as you are is your partner. They have made a commitment to you and they love you, so share yourself with them. Poor sexual self image can stem from many different places, childhood memories, early development periods in your life, and maybe even earlier relationships. Once you find someone you truly love you need to try to put those feelings behind you. Do you actually think that your partner thinks your genitals are ugly? I am sure you partner thinks they are one of the most beautiful things on earth. My advice to you is to start using a little light in your bedroom, candles work great, they will allow your partner to see you beautiful body without being in the glaring light of electricity, plus it is ten times more romantic. Let her/him make a big deal about your body, let them tell you how beautiful you are, and really listen to this. Most people feel that the partner is just saying this, but think about it. They are in the relationship for the long haul they have nothing to gain by lying to you??? I understand that somewhere along the lines of your life that someone has but the idea into your head that you are not sexually beautiful, well I am hear to tell you they were wrong. Be beautiful, handsome, sexy, and alive.

The Lingham Massage

Ladies if you are in a serious relationship you need to do your part to keep your man happy in this relationship. Just like it is his responsibility to do the same for you. What I want you to do is work on your massage technique for his penis. Nothing makes a man feel better then having the person he adores play with his manhood. If of all you have to understand that massaging of the penis is not like your normal massage. You are not trying to relax the muscle or work out any kinks. You are basically getting your man worked up and ready to make love to you. With that said you shouldn't just perform the massage until his penis is hard. You need to take your time and work your magic on a soft and erect penis. Feel all the ridges and places on his penis, use different techniques (click on the title of this post to go to a massage technique page), use any part of your body you wish, your breast and mouth are two of the most common. Don't settle for the normal however, use your feet or your hair anything that gives a different sensation would be greatly appreciated. Lastly you need to make sure he is satisfied, you can either have great sex with him, give him oral sex, or if you are not in the mood a hand job is fine. I think a lot of women don't understand that most men want to be with their partner anyway they can. If a hand job is all your up for tonight that will be fine with your gentleman partner. We all know the old standby that the woman gets a headache and doesn't want sex. Well it is okay if the woman doesn't feel like it but she needs to know that it is still okay for the man to get excited and get off. If you can understand this feeling in your man, women you relationship will improve greatly, sex is important to your relationship. Even if your not in the mood, remember there are two people in this relationship.

Don't be so quick to react.

One thing that I feel is very important when dealing with troubles in a relationship is to react to quickly. When we first hear the sound of bad news we are usually quick react usually in a negative way. However take some time get a few deep breaths and think before you say anything. Money issues and job losses are part of life and if you jump all over your partner before you hear their story you might be jumping to conclusions. How do you think your partner would feel if you jumped them for losing their job only to find out later that they wouldn't give in to doing something illegal for their boss. Look at every situation from every angle before you jump in to offer you opinion. This will keep your relationship in tip top shape. Mistakes happen and they shouldn't come between two people that love each other.

What Are YOU Doing to Make Your Relationship Better?

We all want things to go our way. We want our partners to do what we need and we don't usually think it is out of the way to please us. However, when you think about it, what are you doing to make your relationship better?

Are you doing the things your partner wants?  Are you making changes to better your relationship?  Do you think that your partner is asking too much?

Well, you both might be feeling the same way, SELFISH. We can only control ourselves and if you want someone to change, you have to put the message out there and hope he/she listens. Then, you need to drop it. If you continually try to change him/her, your partner will feel unappreciated and unloved.  In fact, he/she will likely dig his/her heels in and resist any type of change even more.

So what can you do?  Change YOU first!  If you want change in your relationship, focus on yourself and let the rest fall as it will.