The times are right for getting closer to your partner.

We all love our partners or most likely you wouldn't be looking at this blog. The love and passion are the foundations of our relationship. However if you are reading this I am going to tell you the time is right for you to make a deeper connection. I want you relationship to turn spiritual, also. You might be thinking how in the heck can we do that. It is easier than you think. My partner and I have recently connected in a much higher plane and it has helped our relationship in this plane tremendously. Things you can do to start this process are simple and to say the least interesting. Start meditating together spend some quite time back to back clearing your minds. You could also use the lovers breath from the tantric practice to achieve the same affect. One partner sits in the other lap as both of you have your legs folded and then you breath in each others breath with your eyes closed. Another great way to achieve this special closeness is to start studying a spiritual practices such as Huna, Tantric, or The Toaist principles. You will soon start to converse about this which will get you both more in tune with each other. Gaining understanding of this nature will help you understand your relationship much much better and that benefits both of you.

Study something romantic.

When we get away from our norm we can expand our thinking and your way of life. That is why I suggest picking up reading from time to time to learn about different ways of live. I suggest something from another culture that has to do with spirituality or love. For some that might be the Karma Sutra, or Tantric things while others might look for something a little less sexual. Maybe you want to understand why other cultures worship or hold sacred things like cattle or temples. Find out what turns you on (in reading that is) and study it, try to get a understanding of the subject. You don't have to change your feelings or beliefs but a little understanding goes a long way.

Right now I am learning and reading about Huna which is using knowledge from the Hawaiian culture to benefit your existence. I have picked up several interesting bits of knowledge and am becoming fascinated with the subject. To me it is eerie at how close it is to the Law of Attraction or The Secret for the more modern term. Hawaii was pretty much alone and had no influence from the outside world for a long time. To me Huna fells pure and natural and focuses on the moment your are in. There is no looking back or worry about the future you only control your present. Sorry I am beginning to ramble but you get my point and you can see how important learning can be plus it is something fun to share with your partner when you run out of things to talk about.

My partner and I have several long and great conversations about things we study. I can honestly say that I don't want to ever stop learning or conversing with my partner.

Here is the book I am currently reading check it out!!

Learn to talk a little dirty.

Deep inside our brains we all like a little dirty talk. Either in the throws of passion or as foreplay this dirty talk can take us to a higher level in our sex life. Even the most reserved person can become a dirty talker with a little practice. First you have to learn your style, are you the demanding dirty talker. Demanders bark out instructions using the most vivid words. You could be the screamer where you throw out dirty words as you orgasm. Maybe your the shy one that likes to send your dirty talk via text messages or email. No matter what your style dirty talk can enhance your relationship. Ladies you have the upper hand at this, while for guys we need to be a little more reserved. Guys blurting out dirty words out of the bedroom might seem a little abusive however it is quite different if the lady comes out and asks for her partner to put their face between her boobs. I have found a great web site to help you learn to talk dirty and give you several phrases you might want to use sometime. The link is posted below. Good luck and happy dirty talking.

Drity Talk 101

Put your feelings in a journal for each other to read.

Here is a great way to let your partner know how you are feeling. Start a feelings journal that you can keep by your bed. What is a feelings journal?, you might ask. Well it is a little book where you write anything you would like your partner to know. It can be things that bother you, or the way they make you feel great, to even things you would like to discover or try. The subject matter can range between bills to sex. The point is the journal is a way to communicate things to each other. The way it works is you both set a time for you to write your feelings in the journal. Make these different time I would suggest a time where the two of you are apart and not only do you write your feeling in your feelings journal you read what you partner has wrote. A feelings journal is a great way to express to each other feelings that you might not be comfortable with just talking during your normal conversations. Now here is the kicker you don't ever confront you partner on what they wrote! You take it in put it in your mind, you can act on it later but you, never ever read their statement and go right out to confront them about it. I think once you get in the habit of writing and reading a feelings journal you will become closer. One last word of advise this is not a bashing journal if all you are going to do is write down things that upset you then you might as well throw the journal out the window now. Sure sometimes you will want to address something negative but most of the time it should be positive and build your relationship. Try it out I am sure you will enjoy it and it only takes a couple of minutes a day. Time well spent.

In you Relationship as well as life always be optimistic.

We so often go through life with blinders on, and this is true in our relationships, too. We don't look at the bigger picture and have preconceived ideas before we experience items. For the next month or so I want you to make it a habit to be open to everything you do. This might sound hard but after you get over the first couple of hurdles it gets a lot smoother. Say for instance, you partner ask you to go to the ballet, and you a football on sundays type of person. Instead of shaking your head and rolling your eyes, be optimistic. Tell yourself as well as your partner, that will be interesting to experience, I would love to see how a ballet could stimulate me. Another example might be that your partner is bugging you about having intimacy. Instead of saying, "Is that all you think about" to them try this "I am amazed that you desire me so much, I would love to make love to you" You can use this is so many ways to improve your relationship and your life. Say your trash gets knocked over in the night by animals and spread all over you yard. You could be outside cursing like a sailor (sorry sailors, just a saying). Instead you could tell yourself as you are cleaning up the mess, "This is a valuable lesson and next time I will make sure to put the trash where animals cannot get it" By being optimistic in our relationship we open ourself up to all the love available to us.

Couples Education

We tend to think of education as a individual thing. Where one of us goes off to learn something, maybe we talk about it later at some point. The basis is still on the individual. I however want to challenge you to learn something together. You don't have to go out and find an expensive class that you both have to take but find a subject that you both feel would improver your relationship and start doing some research. There are several ways to learn about things that do not really cost much at all. For starters once you pick your subject then you can find loads of information at your local library. Here is the amazing part if you get a library card they will let you take the book home for a couples of weeks!!!! So use your local library to learn. Another great way to find information on your subject is the internet it is easy and fast and is most likely in your home at the current time if not the amazing library usually has computers with internet access you can use for FREEEEEE. You might wonder what type of subject you can study as a couple and I laugh because all subjects can be studied as a couple. Here is just a few that pop into my head currently: Photography, Tantric Sex, Geocaching, exercise, nutrition, cooking, personal finance, investing, massage, baseball, ....

I could go on and on and on but I think you are getting the message. Pick something that the two of you will hold dear and be passionate about then watch how it improves all areas of your relationship.

Discussing thing in a deeper Manner.

Do you know your partners views on life and death, what about their religious beliefs or feelings? Do they believe in evolution, or what about bigfoot, the loch ness monster, or aliens? How do they feel about dreams and their spirit? Most people I hope feel comfortable enough with their partners to let them know how they feel about these things. However, still several do not for fear of having a different opinion then the one they love. After all how could two people stay together is one believes in bigfoot and the other thinks it is just a guy in an ape suite? I joke but their is a lot of passion in discussing your believes no matter what they are on. The wonderful part about it is most likely we will never know the correct answers as long as we are on earth. We can have different views on what happens after death because we don't know for sure. The important thing is to discuss these feelings, explain them to your lover, and listen without judging to their views. This is a great way to get closer, excepting their side and their feelings will make you understand them a little better. This got started last night on our drive home from the John Edwards -Psychic Medium show we attended last night. My partner has very deep and thought out views on spirituality and I love to hear her explain them. The wonderful part about her is that she will listen to my views or won't laugh at my questions. I love these deep conversations with her we have been having them a lot lately and they have my mind thinking about things that I didn't even realize would have impact on my life. The point of all this is get to know your partner a little better and you don't have to agree 100% with them but it is nice to hear their feelings and passion about them.

You can find more on John Edwards by clicking here.

Special Note to my partner if you are reading this - "Thank you for the wonderful conversations we have, I love hearing your views and passions. Don't ever stop explaining your feelings to me. I love you"

Spend alone time together.

This might sound like the silliest thing ever. However you can be alone with someone in the same room. Reading together is one of those things you can do together but be totally apart in your time. Just being in the same room will make you feel like your relationship has grown and is improving. One thing you have to do to make this successful is to keep to yourself. Be together but don't interrupt each other by asking questions or speaking to your partner. Giving them solitude while you are with them takes a lot of self control. However to spend a couple of hours together in the same room while enjoying something on your own brings you closer to understanding each other. Try this exercise for the two of you set a timer for an hour get a book and read together and when you get really good you will be able to touch your partners foot or hand and still not invade there mind space. Being able to be apart while you are together is a challenge but a great wonderful way for a couple to have their space and love you too.

How does our Viewers relationships stack up.

In our resent survey on the state of your relationship we find our viewers run the gambit. Each of 4 selections netted 25%. While we have relationship viewers that are wonderful and fine we also have several that are in need of help. That is why we are here we want to help you with your problems or things that need adjustment in your relationship. Send us your questions everything is kept quiet and your name or email will not be given out we just want to help. In contrast we would love to hear what works great for you in your relationship so send that to us also. Use the email address thecouplesspot@gmail.com

Sexual Self Image

One of the most common ares of concern when dealing with sexual difficulties is a poor sexual self image. Our minds are bombarded with images of perfect bodied individuals have sex on the television or big screen. We see people with no body fat, muscles that bulge, and boobs that are firm and perfect. Now let us examine that to start with most of these people have either had surgery to enhance their body image or have use a substance like steroids to get the look they desire. What does that tell you? It says they had a poor body image and took steps in their mind to correct it. We all know the effects of these cosmetic improvements and it usually come back to haunt them. Now lets look inward to ourselves. For starters we are all beautiful, who says what is perfect and how we should look? WE DO!!! For our sexual self image I hear so much of how people have to have the light off to have sex and that they don't want their partner of all people to see them naked? This is crazy, the one person that will except you as you are is your partner. They have made a commitment to you and they love you, so share yourself with them. Poor sexual self image can stem from many different places, childhood memories, early development periods in your life, and maybe even earlier relationships. Once you find someone you truly love you need to try to put those feelings behind you. Do you actually think that your partner thinks your genitals are ugly? I am sure you partner thinks they are one of the most beautiful things on earth. My advice to you is to start using a little light in your bedroom, candles work great, they will allow your partner to see you beautiful body without being in the glaring light of electricity, plus it is ten times more romantic. Let her/him make a big deal about your body, let them tell you how beautiful you are, and really listen to this. Most people feel that the partner is just saying this, but think about it. They are in the relationship for the long haul they have nothing to gain by lying to you??? I understand that somewhere along the lines of your life that someone has but the idea into your head that you are not sexually beautiful, well I am hear to tell you they were wrong. Be beautiful, handsome, sexy, and alive.

Different Views

Have you ever noticed how people perceive things in different ways? Like one person finds sweaty people sexy while another things that when you sweat it is just gross. It makes you wonder why we can be so different. How can one person love to see women in stockings and another say they look like a street walker. This different view flow into our live at every angle. Art is a great example, some paintings appeal to me and some that I find not very good at all sale for hundreds of thousands of dollars. This makes me think am I missing something, is my perception off kilter. I think these is something you need to consider in your relationship. So when you partner asks you to wear something sexy for them or doesn't like the drapes you have picked out we don't become lost in our perspective. You will never be able to see through your partners perspective but understand it is okay for them to have a different perspective then you do. So next time your partner asks you to wear that nightie that you hate or to get really sweaty before you make love, you might have a little more insight and understanding. This doesn't mean it will change your perspective but it might help you please your partner. Understanding that they just have a different perspective is okay and that you don't have to always cater to their perspective but every once it a while is okay. Who knows you might like their perspective a little better if you try it.

Charting the Monthly Cycle

Most of the ladies out there whether you are on the pill or not, have a way to track their monthly cycle. They are prepared for the event before it happens. Men, you need to take some examples from them. We need to be prepared for the monthly event also. Make your own chart and see if you can find trends that might help you out as that time of month rolls around. Track if your partner gets upset easily, or angry for no reason. Sometimes little things will set women off at this time of month. Some women might get really emotional and cry at anything and everything. By tracking this you will be much more prepared to deal with the changes then most men. Understand that it is out of their control, and that it is part of the make up of women. Once you get the cycle down and are pretty comfortable with it, you will find yourself knowing when your partner might get a little more emotional or when not to ask if you can have the guys over for a poker party. Being a couple requires that you are sensitive to each others needs and most women's make up changes a little during her period. Find things to do during her period that might make her a little more relaxed. It might be a good time to give her a massage or rub her feet, make her feel special and most importantly understand that this might be an uncomfortable and painful time for them.