Do You Miss Talking - Really Talking To Your Sweetie?

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Use a long drive for deep talks.

Long drives are normally tiring and boring for everyone, especially the one doing the driving. As a couple you can help each other out by saving some deep conversations for your drive. Be it that you are going on vacation or just have a long drive ahead of you. A great conversation not only keeps the driver alert but it also makes the trip seem shorter. If you are the one not driving make sure to bring up subjects that are interesting and fun to talk about for your partner. Ask for their opinion on things and see if you can hit a passionate nerve for them to speak about. The meaning of life, desires for the future, past experiences are just a few things you can start conversations about. As you get into deep conversation the miles seem to pass quite faster and you might even reach your destination a little more refreshed then you would have imagined. If you two are alone in the car it is a great time to talk about your relationship. Don't talk about things that anger you, we don't want a fight on our drive, but the good things in your relationship. Praise your partner as you proceed on your drive. We so often don't tell our partner how good they make us feel and this is a wonderful time to do it. Touch the drivers arm or leg from time to time to give that human touch that is so important and also stimulates their feeling of being loved. Switch drivers when needed but try to keep the conversation going. Nothing makes a drive longer then when everyone is asleep and the driver has nothing to do besides focus on driving. The road becomes longer, and the driver becomes uncomfortable and itching for some human interaction. Music and food can help but it is not near as fun or exciting as that wonderful conversation the two of you could be having.

Let you partner know you are talking good about them.

You won't believe what my husband did....

We all are curious about how are partner talks about us when they are not around us. We wonder to they bash us and only tell their friends about the not so good things we do. Could be possible that they are speaking like we are a saint? There is no way to tell for sure unless you overhear a conversation and hard as it is that is eavesdropping and isn't right. This is where we can tell our partner when we talk good about them. Let them know that you told your girlfriends how romantic they are or when you tell the guys how you have the best partner in the world. Tell them specifics like, "The other day the girls went nuts when I showed them the note you left me when you went on your trip" or "All the guys are so jealous of me because I told them about you sitting up that special trip to the ballpark for me" We so often have an vision of your partner belittling us because that is what we see on television. Another good reason to pitch the television. The programs and talk shows are full of people talking about the terrible things their lovers do. Maybe we should start a show called "How great my lover is" that lets people talk about the good in their relationship. No fights just proud partners expressing how wonderful their partner is. Now I might watch that show to pick up some extra wonderful things to do. Go a step farther and ask you friends when they are bashing their mate, "Does you partner do anything that pleases you?" Get them searching their mind for positive things and you might just chance a persons whole day.

Do you really listen?

When you partner begins to talk about what they are interested in do you really listen? Are you interested in what they are saying and if not are you courteous enough to be interested in them? We have this flaw in our make up that only wants us to be interested in what WE are interested in. While our partner is talking about something they are passionate about we are in our mind wondering what time the game comes on, or how much work we have to do later. We don't really give them the courtesy of listening and trying to enjoy what they are diving into. Listen to your conversations and see if you quickly change the subject as your partner is discussing their topic. Here is a trick I have learned to try and get more involved in what my partner is speaking about. After you partner tells you about something that is of interest to them, ask a question about it. It doesn't have to be a in depth question but it does need to be one that seeks more understanding. Start making it a point to question you partner and get them to give you a little more information before you start talking about your interests. Doing this will not only show your partner that you care but it might just get you a little more understanding as to why they care.

What questions are you asking?

Relationships are give and take and they will always be that way. However I see many couples that don't want to explore each others worlds. We want to tell them about the wonderful or awful things that happen to us but how often do we ask them about things? What is your first course of actions in the morning? Do you ask your partner if they slept well or if they had any exciting dreams? When you get home from work what are your first words? The should be, "How was your day?" or "Anything exciting happen today" Demand that your partner tell you about their excitement and their happenings even if they are boring. Hopefully then they will return the favor, this sparks so much conversation in your relationship and it shows that you really care about them. Resist the urge to jump in and start telling your story until they ask about it and if you can't wait just make sure to ask about their day after you are finished. We want to know that our beloved want to know about what we are doing it makes us know that they are thinking about us during the day.

Great Date Idea: Night at the Museum.

In the effort to find a great date idea that doesn't break the bank, you just need to look for a little culture. Museums offer a great place to walking around holding and hands and conversing about the things you see. Sparking many different conversations and feelings based on the works at the museum. Now you might not like art and if that is the case there are a multitude of other museums that don't have anything to do with art. The football hall of fame had many many displays that will grab your attention. Plus there are several little obscure museums around that offer a look into very specific interests. Say for instance the Firefighters Museum or the Museum of Toy Trains whatever your tastes there is a museum out there for it. Don't live near a museum then you can always check out itunes and get a number of podcasts from the bigger museums on their recent exhibits. Then you could even snuggle down on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and visit the museum you wish. Some museums charge a fee but many of them only ask for donations, so check around and see what museum you might like to visit on your next date night.

Have your own special place.

Being a couple it is important to have a space all to yourselves. Sure you bedroom is a great start but that is what everyone has. What I am talking about is a place the two of you can go to talk and just be together with not much distraction. We use our deck in the summer time, sitting out late at night after the kids are asleep, maybe have a glass of wine or a drink. The magical part of this is it gives us a chance to talk just between the two of use. No one else enters this little sanctuary of ours. We might snuggle up under blankets or touch feet on a warm summer night. The conversation is the great part we try to stay away from the normal everyday troubles and let our minds wander. Getting into deep conversations. Find your place to do this with you partner, it might be your deck or a park somewhere, you could even just take a walk together. This breeds your relationship making it stronger and stronger. As busy as our lives get we always need to make sure to time for each other, intimately and intellectually.

Driving and Talking.

One of the best things you can do to to improve the communication in your relationship is to turn off the radio while you are driving. Make it a point to converse during any drive that you take, especially the longer ones. It might be easy to turn on the radio and zone out but where does that get you. Pick some topics before you leave to discuss, avoid things with a personal feel, like your children, bills, work etc. Pick something out of the news and discuss your feelings on it. You might find that you take the longer way to get more discussion time.

Discussing thing in a deeper Manner.

Do you know your partners views on life and death, what about their religious beliefs or feelings? Do they believe in evolution, or what about bigfoot, the loch ness monster, or aliens? How do they feel about dreams and their spirit? Most people I hope feel comfortable enough with their partners to let them know how they feel about these things. However, still several do not for fear of having a different opinion then the one they love. After all how could two people stay together is one believes in bigfoot and the other thinks it is just a guy in an ape suite? I joke but their is a lot of passion in discussing your believes no matter what they are on. The wonderful part about it is most likely we will never know the correct answers as long as we are on earth. We can have different views on what happens after death because we don't know for sure. The important thing is to discuss these feelings, explain them to your lover, and listen without judging to their views. This is a great way to get closer, excepting their side and their feelings will make you understand them a little better. This got started last night on our drive home from the John Edwards -Psychic Medium show we attended last night. My partner has very deep and thought out views on spirituality and I love to hear her explain them. The wonderful part about her is that she will listen to my views or won't laugh at my questions. I love these deep conversations with her we have been having them a lot lately and they have my mind thinking about things that I didn't even realize would have impact on my life. The point of all this is get to know your partner a little better and you don't have to agree 100% with them but it is nice to hear their feelings and passion about them.

You can find more on John Edwards by clicking here.

Special Note to my partner if you are reading this - "Thank you for the wonderful conversations we have, I love hearing your views and passions. Don't ever stop explaining your feelings to me. I love you"

Dating for Couples with children!

Many of you out there are in your relationships and are blessed with the wonders of having children. This is absolutely one of the best feelings in the world being a parent. Yet, it makes it very tough to make plans to go out on dates. Not only do you have to find a place to go that fits within your budget, now you have to find a babysitter and you are back to having a curfew. If you live near you family, you might be able to get the cheapest and best babysitters around in your family. Once you have secured the sitter the next thing you have to worry about is the unexpected. Children have a way of getting sick at the most unwanted time or they find a way to make you feel guilty about going out without them. Sickness is something you can't get around, however feeling guilty is one that if you are getting plenty of quality time with your child, you should make yourself numb to it. Adults need their time to and both of you need time to get out and have adult things to do. You need to go places that don't have puppets or people dressed as animals to entertain yourself. You might want to consume a beer or mixed drink which you can't do with the children, or you might want to try a food that might not be to good for a little ones pallet. No matter the reason parents need their time, too. So latch on to a good babysitter and start planning now to have a normal date night. Be it Sunday afternoon, or Saturday night. By doing this you will keep yourself fresh and ready to spend that time with your little ones by knowing that on a certain date you will be able to act like grown ups and get to have conversations that don't include Sponge Bob Square Pants.

Speak my name!

Let me ask you this question how many times to you say your partners name? If you are like most couples you use pet names like babe, honey, sweetheart, etc to address the love of your life. For the next couple of days I want you to try speaking your partners name when you talk to them. For starters it will mix things up a bit and get them aroused that you are using their name. Do this even during any intimate or passion you might have between the two of you. When you climax call out their name, when you want to ask them a question use their name, or even when you are just talking to them use their name in the conversation. Their brain will pick up on this change and it will make them feel good knowing that your thoughts and speaking is directed at them and not just anyone. This might help keep your relationship in that beginning state before you were comfortable enough to use pet names. Mix it up a bit, because it might be a bit much to only use their name all the time, but the fun part will be to watch their reactions the first few times you do this.

Make time for each other every day.

If you are not dedicating time to your relationship each and everyday then you are running the risk of your relationship stalling. I am not saying that you have to spend every waking minute together. However, there are areas of your relationship that need time to help it grow. You should spend some quality time together each and every day conversing. Speaking to each other about anything helps you keep the lines of communication open for when you really need to talk to each other about something important. I suggest spending about a half hour of your day should be set aside for the two of you to talk. At least once a week you need to set aside time to date each other. Be it a night out or just to get a movie and some popcorn and snuggle down on the couch. It is important to keep chasing each other if you will, dress up like you did when you were trying to impress each other and bring some fire back into your relationship. Lastly at least a couple of times a week you need to make time for intimacy. Passion is an important part of any relationship that survives and thrives. I have read many studies that say that the couples that are the most happy have a wonderful sex life. Get out of the dark ages and schedule your love making, this way you don't just leave it to chance plus when you know you are going to have a exciting round of love making your anticipation will make you a tiger in the bedroom. Relationship are like anything else in your life you have to give it the time that it need. Think about it how would your kids turn out if you didn't give them any time, what about your job, or the housework. I hope you are getting my meaning and will dedicate time to your relationship today.

Blog about your feelings.

Need a great way to communicate your feelings towards the other person in your relationship? Why not blog your feelings! With the ease of use of today's blogging tools such as Blogger.com you can easily put up and take down a blog for the two of you. Both of you start a diary type of blog that tells how things made you feel and topics that might need to be discused but are a little hard to get flowing from the start. Then only give your blog address to your partner and make sure they only give you theirs. Then once a day you can read each others post and see how and why your partner is feeling the way they are. Again you can use it to make suggestions to your partner or even just a fun little communication tool for the two of your to use. I would suggest deleting post after you know your partner has read them just to be on the safe side you never know when someone might just stumble upon your blog by accident. Today's relationships are different then in the past but in my opnion they have the ability to be a lot better, because of technology.

Listen.

One of the hardest skill to master in a relationship is the art of listening. We all want to add our two cents worth and can't wait to bust into the conversation to do so. Sometimes however we just need to listen and not offer any advice or insight to the situation. Sometimes people just need to vent out frustrations and the person they want to do this with is you. It is hard as the person that just listens to not want to help out, but this only makes matters worse. The person venting just needs to get their feelings out in the open and when they do the release comes. Usually if they have a point that is not a valid one they will see the errors of their way as they vent. They might come across as yelling at you but they are not, they just want to pretend they are letting the person or situation that upset them have it. The yelling or raising of their voice is just a natural defense and another means of letting the stress out. The best thing you can do is hold all comments to the end, after they have told or screamed the whole situation and then run down scenarios with them as you try to find solutions or comfort.

Get your Game on for after the Unwrapping on Christmas.

Now is the time to think of what the two of you are going to do after all the presents are unwrapped and the food has been digested. Go out and pick up some games that will be fun, whether it is just the two of you or the whole family. Pick some games that can get everyone involved find one that has questions that you can ask each other or other members of your family that are still hanging around. Board games are nice but they don't allow you to get comfortable as you have to sit around a table so you have room for the board. I would suggest just taking the cards and go around the room asking questions to each other. One of my favorite game of all time is the Loaded Questions line. The questions really get you thinking as you have to explain your answer and their are no right or wrong answers it really helps you to get to know someone better by playing. Not only is it fun but it is a great conversation starter for times when everyone is being quiet. Click on the title of this post to go to the Loaded Questions Game Site, they even have an adult version that you can play after you kick everyone out of the house.

Invite her friends over to watch the game!

You know it is so easy to invite your friends over to watch the football game or any other sporting event. You just call them up and the will be there with beer under their arm. Have you ever thought to invite you wife or girlfriends friends over? This would be a great show of togetherness. This way that special woman in your life doesn’t just have to listen to your chest bumping friends. Next time you are planning to have the guys over ask her if she would like to invite some of her friends over and make it a little party. This way if your partner is not into the game they will have something to do or someone to talk to. One word of caution however don’t start letting your friends ogle over hers make it clear to them this is not an attempt to fix anyone up. If she agrees to this make sure you have items both sets of friends will enjoy snacking on and drinking. Cans of Beer and chips are not usually the ladies first choice. This might also get your partner to take a little more interest in sporting events if they don’t already. By making it more of a social event you might hear them saying “When is the next game?”

Fishing for Conversation.

Need an activity that helps improve your conversation between the two of you? Try Fishing, fishing allows plenty of time to get to know each other again. You most often have long periods of quiet time that allows for conversation to fill it. You don't see people just sitting quietly while they are fishing. This makes for a great time to talk about something important also. You are usually secluded in a way from the rest of the world. You can be on the banks of a lake or out in your boat and it is like you are the only two people on earth. Sure you will have to cast or reel in a big fish from time to time. The conversation time is all the time you are waiting for these things to happen.

So if you need to talk or just get reacquainted, grab your fishing pole and some bait and head out to the lake. Most likely you will come back with a better understanding of each other. Plus fishing is rated as one of the most relaxing things you can do, so it has double the benefits.

You drive then I drive

If your like most couples one of your is the dominate driver. That is the person that drives most of the time you go places. It is natural and some people love to drive. Well the next time you go on a trip of even just a long drive. Make sure to bust up the driving time equally. This gives both of you change to relax and enjoy the scenery it also allows both of you to be the gopher and the conversation starter. We have a lot of great conversations driving places and most of the time they start by one of us reading about something and then discussing it. As partners we want to both be refreshed when we get to our destination so splitting the drive will allow both of us down time to sleep of just put the seat back and stretch out. We all have heard about jet lag but car lag can be just as bad.

So you can bust up the time as you like but I suggest stopping or pulling over every hour or two hours to switch drivers. Never let one person drive more than two hours at a time. They will get a stiff neck or just be a little more tense then if they would have not driven that much. Take breaks and stop to see odd things along the way. Get a copy of Weird America and find some of the topic in the book it will make your trip so much more enjoyable.

Staying up Late

You know when you become a couple and you get into your routine sometimes staying up late is not in your relationship. I think you are missing out on several great opportunities by not staying up late. For instance some of the best conversations are held during times when you both would be up later then anyone else. These conversations get deep and bring a couple close and they can be about anything. You can also find some great old movies on during these late nights. Spend the time cuddling or make yourselves some drinks and snacks. If you have children this might be the only way you can get some adult alone time together to talk about things other then cartoons or toys. Another advantage to staying up late is it usually leads to sleeping in together again if you have no children present.

I feel that when you stay up late together you create such a bond. It's like you are the only two people in the world as you talk and rekindle your relationship. I have never had a problem staying up late but I understand some people do. If you are one of these people and know you are going to spend the evening with your partner alone. Take a nap, sometime during the day, because you don't want to miss a chance and having a great night with your lover.

Enjoy Breakfast together

Today's lifestyle is so hustle and bustle. Tomorrow I want you to start you day slower. If you have to wake up early then so be it. I want the two of you to enjoy breakfast together. Both of you sit down together to start your morning on the right foot. Talk about news or interesting things that happened at work. Hold hands while you consume your breakfast. Maybe even feed each other a little taste of what you are eating. Seldom do we start the morning the way we end it and maybe it's time we do. Do something simple for breakfast or even go to a local restaurant that offers sit down breakfast. Start you day by spending it with the one you love. It might just make your work day a little more bearable.