Couples, Are You Taking Care Of the Business Of Your Relationship?

For those of you that think love is all roses and fairy tales you might need to take another look.  If you think that you fall in love and the rest of your life is smooth sailing you are in for a shock.  That is why it is important that you understand there is a business side to love.  When you are in true committed relationship there is a sharing of everything.  That means your time, experiences, and your money.  So many couples forget to spend time on the business side of their love that it blows up on them one day putting huge stress on their relationship.  Don't let this happen to you take time to have a business meeting once a month or week with your partner.  So you both are on the same page financially.  Believe me it will make the rest of your relationship flow a lot smoother.  

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To listen is a marvelous gift. but don't forget about the one listening.

Sometimes we get way to one sided in our relationship. We feel that our feelings are the only ones that matter. When we get in that shape sometimes we forget about our partner and their goings on. When we have a major event happen in our life we tend to shut down and worry about that leaving our partner out in the cold. The love doesn't stop we just focus on ourself a this point. This however can make our partner feel not important or like they come after all the other crap that is going on. When you find yourself in this spot take a moment and remind yourself that the person helping you get through all these troubles deserves to be appreciated also. Just the acknowledgement of them is better than nothing but to really make it up to them dedicate a day to them. Reminding them that they are special for helping you deal with your troubles. The last thing you want is your partner feeling like they are less important than you dealing with the problems in our lives. Make sure you partner knows how much you love the fact they are helping you deal with your life.

Holding hands can make a difference.

Tough times are hard to get through. Once simple thing that will make it a little better is holding hands during them. Funerals, financial troubles, hurt feelings are all things that the simple act of holding hands will benefit both partners. The support and ability to lean on your partner is one of those things that makes relationships wonderful. You can give gifts, go on vacations, and have parties out the butt. However when the chips are down a simple hand holding for support will work wonders.

Take stock in your relationship during trying times.

When the world seems to be weighing down on you and troubles seem to be all around. The one place you can feel safe is in the arms of your love. You can't make the troubles go away, but you can help you feel better. The world will not end because of your troubles and life will continue you just have to take comfort in the fact you have a great relationship and a loving partner. Standing together holding hands is a much better way to face your troubles then by yourself. Take stock in your relationship and let you love guide you.

Have your own special place.

Being a couple it is important to have a space all to yourselves. Sure you bedroom is a great start but that is what everyone has. What I am talking about is a place the two of you can go to talk and just be together with not much distraction. We use our deck in the summer time, sitting out late at night after the kids are asleep, maybe have a glass of wine or a drink. The magical part of this is it gives us a chance to talk just between the two of use. No one else enters this little sanctuary of ours. We might snuggle up under blankets or touch feet on a warm summer night. The conversation is the great part we try to stay away from the normal everyday troubles and let our minds wander. Getting into deep conversations. Find your place to do this with you partner, it might be your deck or a park somewhere, you could even just take a walk together. This breeds your relationship making it stronger and stronger. As busy as our lives get we always need to make sure to time for each other, intimately and intellectually.

Keep a couples diary

Have you ever been sitting around together and wondering what you were doing last year at this time? Maybe you are sitting here right now going I hope that you both remember this a year from now. Well why not keep a journal of what is going on in your life. Right down the happy and sad events, your feelings and where you think the future will be going and then in a year read that entry to see how you felt or see how close you are to getting to the place you wanted to a year ago. Once you get past the first year you will have entries to read each and everyday as you enter your newest thoughts and feelings. If you don't want the hassle of keeping a journal lying around then create a blog for the two of you. You don't even have to publish it keep it in a word document you can add pictures or what ever floats you boat. One of the biggest reasons for doing this is to show you how problems get solved or just go away. Sometimes we stress way to much about our troubles not realizing that they will pass in time. No matter which way you decide to keep your couples diary start it today and you will be one day closer to be able to answer that question: What were we doing a year ago?

What to do when things are going bad!

Never discuss problems in the bedroom, they should never enter your thoughts when you in this area that is designated for love.

What do you do as a couple when things are going bad in your life. These things can make it tense in your relationship and can even cause problems, which is the last things the two of you need. When things get tough the one thing you need to do as a couple is pull together. Make your relationship the rock in your rocky world right now. No matter what is going on in your life, being able to come home and be comforted and able to leave all the stress at the door is a big plus. No matter if it's problems at work, troubles with your parents, or even financial troubles. Make it a point to talk about them outside of the house and leave them their when you come back in through the door. Go out to eat and discuss your troubles over a meal,or go to the park and find a bench somewhere, or you can even just take a drive to discuss the situation. No matter what it is get it all out and talk about it before you come back home. Once home put your focus into being the couple that you are, support each other and make sure to layer on the love and affection for each other. Make your home the safe haven it should be for the two of you.

Kindness

"Kindness in words creates confidence,

Kindness in thinking creates profoundness

Kindness in giving creates love"

Lao Tzu

Sometimes we forget how important it is to be kind to our partner. We few them as our rock that is always there. We don't expect them to leave or withdraw when we say things to them. When you really look at it however, we should show more kindness to our partners. We hope they are the constant in our life, we do expect them to be there always for us and yet we direct all our negative energy towards them. When we have a bad day at work, who actually feels the pain when you get home. If you are having financial troubles, who do you get mad at? When something doesn't get done around the house who do you expect to finish it? Nobody is perfect and yet we constantly want our partner to be superhuman and take everything we throw at them. Maybe the next time you want to direct your anger some where you should take it out in exercise or alone, and then come to your partner with kindness and appreciation for them being their to comfort you!

Being There

Sad or bad times are guaranteed to hit your relationship at some time or another. I am not talking about relationship troubles but the ones that come in from the outside of your relationship. How do you handle it when something happens to upset your partner or upset the both of your? How do you comfort you partner to make them feel better? There is no formula you can follow, because everyone is different. While some people need space others need comfort. You cannot judge your partner by what they need. If they need space as hard as it might be you need to give it to them. However if they need the physical comfort you should be there for them in that manner also. You need to find that specific way that you can make your partner feel good. Some people might want to get away and take a trip, while others might want to just hunker down a home. What ever you find that works just make sure you are there as a means of support. This is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your partner and your relationship.

The Labor of Love

Love comes with some many things attached to it. When we become a couple there are certain things that just fall into place. Things like sharing your time, or chores, most likely you will soon be sharing your living space with this person. These things are not easy. The transition from two single people to a couple is a hard one. You have to put in a lot of trial and error to find out what works best for the two of you. Keeping that individualism while still being in a relationship take work and sacrifice if you want it to work. Ask any couple that has been together for what you view as a long time and I am sure that they could fill your ears with tuff times they have had during their relationship. A relationship is a work in progress for ever, as you and your partner change with time your relationship will also. This means that once you think you have your relationship figured out something will change and disrupt your views again. You might be sitting there think why even bother then. Well, all you have to do is look at the benefits of the relationship to understand that. Having someone to care for you, help you out, stand up for you, be there when you need someone, someone to share experiences and memories with, intimacy, kissing, etc, etc, etc. Relationships are great but you only get out of them what you put into them. So, roll up your sleeves and get to working on that relationship of yours.

Financial Troubles

One of the biggest problems in relationships today is financial troubles. Not only do they weigh on the individual but they can really put a stress on your relationship. However, there is no time like the present to do something about your financial crisis before it ends up hurting your relationship. Most people will get angry at their partner when discussing this matters as you feel it is all the other persons fault. If you look at it however if you are in a committed relationship it is the couples fault. Once you get past that hurdle you can both sit down and start to hash out a plan to get you out of this mess. You might need to get more help and hire a financial consultant that can give you insight into how to address situations. Set a budget and stick to it make it a game you can even reward your partner with things such as massages, special dinners or even sex if they help to get the two of you out of debt. Most couples have gone through tough time you are not the first and will not be the last, you focus should be one correcting the situation instead of blaming anything. Amazon has a wide selection of books on the topic of getting finances back in order and you can click on the bar at the side to take you there in a hurry.

Laughter IS the best medicine.

Have you ever been troubled by something so much that at some point and time you just burst out laughing? For some unknown reason at a really unusually time you start to chuckle with any control over it. This is your body telling you to lighten up. Sure what ever the problem is will need to be taken care of but you can't make yourself sick over worrying about it. This is where you as a good partner and lover take over. If you partner is feeling down about something you need to bring them up with some laughter. Make fun of the situation or crack some jokes, while this might not make things better it might open the persons mind to find a reasonable solution. When you think negative, negative things happen. You could also go out to see a funny movie or visit the local comedy shows anything that would make people laugh. Heck if you don't have any money then get on youtube and find some hilarious videos of people being stupid, they are all over the place. Believe me once the person gets some good laughter in the problem will be put in a new light. You being a caring and considerate person can help you partner when you see this happening, so break out the rubber chicken and practice your jokes.

Throw your troubles in the lake!

Sometimes in our everyday life we get bogged down with our troubles. We focus on them and let them consume us. Well today I want the two of you to go out to the local lake, stream, or ocean and toss those troubles into the water. Sound like I have lost my marbles?????? Seriously what I want you to do is go out and get some sharpie makers and head to your local body of water. Upon arriving, search the bank or shore of several good sized rocks. Now both of you sit down and write on the rocks you troubles or concerns, that are bothering you currently. Once you have completed that, gather up all the stones and read what is written on the rock and then toss it as far as you can into the water! There your trouble is gone, and you should be feeling better. No this is not a magical event it is just letting your mind let go of these problems for a bit and by doing that you might get a more clear idea of how to get rid of your problems. After all this before you get ready to leave gather up some more rocks and write things on them that you are thankful for. Take these home with you and put them in a safe place. Then the next time you are feeling down pull them out and share them with your partner. I am sure it will bring a smile to your face.

Ladies and Gentlemen Dr. Laura Berman

Not every sex educator is held in high esteem. However, for a couple I would suggest you check out Dr. Laura Berman website and books. I know what your thinking guys and that is she will side with the woman in every case. Don't be so sure, In what I have read up to this point Dr. Laura Berman is in this for the couple. She promotes sex and views it as a very important part of our relationships. She also gives some great tips on improving communication and trust. Yes she has books and her website is mostly designed for women. Let me tell you, I have found lots of usefull items in her writings. I have heard some complaints on her but for the most part everything she tries to indulge is on the up and up.

I definitely think if your relationship needs some help. Besides here you should pick up some of Dr. Berman's books, or check out her website. If you have an iPod with iTunes you can even download her show she did with Oprah. Dr. Berman gets my seal of approval and I think she is liberal enough for most straight monogamous couples. Outside of that in my opinion she could be a little more open. I have posted a link to her site in the title of this posts. So go and explore Dr. Berman's site together even if your relationship isn't in jeopardy, you can always use a refresher course.