Getting through tough days in your relationship.

Every relationship has days that you seem like you are unappreciated or that you don't get exactly what you want. This is normal and everyone feels that way from time to time. This is the time that you need to count your blessings. Yes, I mean literally counting your blessings. Sit down and thing about the things that your partner does that are important to you, or that just make you feel good. You quickly start to balance out those negative thoughts you are having with positive ones. Soon the scale will be tipped in the favor of the positive thoughts as your mind starting thinking of the more detailed things. Things like making you dinner, or doing the laundry, or that time he/she made passionate love to you last week. This is how you keep those negative thoughts in check. Once you start to compare them to the wonderful things you partner does you will quickly put your uneasiness to rest.

Who brought the negative energy in here?

The most wonderful place to feel safe and important is inside your relationship. You should feel protected and special within the realm of your our partners arms. Yet sometimes we bring negative energy into our relationship that can cause turmoil and struggles. Problems at work, struggles with our children, or just a tough drive home can cause us to dump our negative energy into our relationship. Once we do this then that negative energy starts gnawing on our passionate loving relationship. Think back have you ever let a bad day or bad situation outside your home effect your relationship. Have you ever been testy with your partner because you had one of these bad days? Is it fair that your partner should get the brunt of your feelings about that subject. While you should be able to air out your problems with your partner you should also drop it and and thankful to them for being their afterwards. Always remember that the love you have for each other is the best medicine for a stressful situation. Next time you come home with this feeling of negative energy try this. Wipe it off your feet on your door mat before you get in the house, make a conscience effort to not struggle with it during your time with the people you love the most. If you really feel you need to address the problem with your partner then ask them to step out side to discuss it. Them wipe it off your feet before you come in again. It is easy to dump all our baggage into our relationship because it is close to us and our major focus. However using your relationship as a dump for all the negative energy will soon find you wondering why your relationship is so negative.

Take inventory of your relationship.

If your like the normal couple you only talk about your partners faults instead of focusing on the good things that they do in your relationship. We dwell on the facts of what they didn't do instead of celebrating the things that they do to help out the household or your relationship. What you need to do is to take time and make a list of all the good things your partner does in your relationship. Write down all the little things like taking out the garbage, picking up the kids, or even fixing dinner. Then look for major things they do to make your relationship better, like making sure the two of you have a date night, or planning a great weekend getaway for the two of you. I am sure once you start writing down things you will be amazed at how many good things your partner does. Do they make the bed, mow the lawn, let you watch the shows you want, or even just kiss you good night. Then the next time you want to yell at them for leaving the lid off the toothpaste, pull out your list and read one of the good things they do. Maybe you can live without the lid on the toothpaste.

Kindness

"Kindness in words creates confidence,

Kindness in thinking creates profoundness

Kindness in giving creates love"

Lao Tzu

Sometimes we forget how important it is to be kind to our partner. We few them as our rock that is always there. We don't expect them to leave or withdraw when we say things to them. When you really look at it however, we should show more kindness to our partners. We hope they are the constant in our life, we do expect them to be there always for us and yet we direct all our negative energy towards them. When we have a bad day at work, who actually feels the pain when you get home. If you are having financial troubles, who do you get mad at? When something doesn't get done around the house who do you expect to finish it? Nobody is perfect and yet we constantly want our partner to be superhuman and take everything we throw at them. Maybe the next time you want to direct your anger some where you should take it out in exercise or alone, and then come to your partner with kindness and appreciation for them being their to comfort you!