What Do Your Sex Dreams Really Mean?

What Do Your Sex Dreams Really Mean?

By Terry L Gillis

At some point, we've all had a sexual dream. Whether your dream was exotic and wild, strange and unsettling or gentle and romantic, there's a reason why you had this particular dream at this particular time.

"Sexual dreams reveal your desires and anxieties," says Gillian Holloway, PhD, author of Erotic Dreams. "Your subconscious uses these raw, lustful situations to sort out emotions you may not be confronting in waking life." Sure, maybe you already know dreams serve as a portal to your psyche, but you might not realize how obscure their implications can be.

Often sexual dreams are just a medium to understand one's inner self, desire or even passion, which is absent from the conscious level of the mind due to external factors such as suppression. In our society the skewed outlook on matters of sex makes it a taboo topic for discussion.

Sexual dreams may be a means to compensate for what is lacking in real life. To take an example, there was a saint who had renounced everything, followed austerity and shunned women. He started having recurring erotic dreams and was confused at his response. A closer look by a counsellor revealed that this was his way of balancing his inner and outer self. The dreams in question were his way to fulfil his sexual needs and yet manage to follow celibacy in real life. Applying morality to dreams would be, of course, unfair.

These types of dreams can also provide the dreamer with a neutral space where she can go beyond her inhibitions and overcome her fears regarding sex or certain behaviours. Certain behavioural change that a person is skeptical about adopting in waking life will sometimes manifest in dreams, and in most cases is a precursor to, or sign for, changes to follow.

Sexual dreams are rarely literal. Though you might hope that last night's dream of you and Drew Barrymore was a precognitive dream, a view of future events, it probably isn't. Sex dreams, and most dreams for that matter, are metaphors, or perhaps similes, and highly symbolic. They give you a picture, an image, of what a situation is like or can be compared to. If, in your dream, you are feeling pressured to have sex, take a look at your waking life and see where you are feeling pressured or by whom.

You need to remember that dreams should be understood in their context. If a person dreams of having sex in a car, it might imply that he wants to own the car-sex becomes a symbol for ownership. If a dreamer dreams of making love to a stranger in an unfamiliar place, this may be suggesting that she is looking for something new to be introduced into her relationship, or that she is estranged from her own sexuality.

The way the dream made you feel and its correlation with some incident in your recent past will aid in understanding it and its message.

Sex dreams are as common and natural as the physical sexual act. Such dreams shouldn't disturb us, but rather they should be seen as a call for introspection and a deeper look at what's being re-presented. Dreams always come in service of our greater good, at a time when the subject of the dream needs to be addressed. Dreams are our very own, private therapists. And they don't cost us a dime.

Terry L. Gillis, a.k.a The Dream Lady, invites you to visit her comprehensive mind and dreaming site at [http://www.thedreamladyonline.com] Take your time and explore all that the site has to offer: visit the library, read the most recent articles, subscribe to the free monthly newsletter, The Nocturnal Times, and much more.

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Send a late night email expressing your feelings or fears.

Sometimes it is hard to just bring up something that has had deep meaning in your life. It might be something from you childhood or maybe even something that your partner has done the hurt your feelings. You want to express your total feelings without being interrupted before you get your whole point across. This is where the magic thing we call email is a benefit. Find some time when you are alone and construct your message to your partner, opening up your feelings and letting your emotions come out in the email. Send it to them and say nothing, never ask if they got the email, just wait for a reply either in person or by return email. Sure, face to face talking is always the best but sometimes if you might be embarrassed or scared to tell them how you feel. Most likely your partner will understand your feelings and then you have now opened up the lines of communication and found another way to communicate with the person you love.

Keep a couples diary

Have you ever been sitting around together and wondering what you were doing last year at this time? Maybe you are sitting here right now going I hope that you both remember this a year from now. Well why not keep a journal of what is going on in your life. Right down the happy and sad events, your feelings and where you think the future will be going and then in a year read that entry to see how you felt or see how close you are to getting to the place you wanted to a year ago. Once you get past the first year you will have entries to read each and everyday as you enter your newest thoughts and feelings. If you don't want the hassle of keeping a journal lying around then create a blog for the two of you. You don't even have to publish it keep it in a word document you can add pictures or what ever floats you boat. One of the biggest reasons for doing this is to show you how problems get solved or just go away. Sometimes we stress way to much about our troubles not realizing that they will pass in time. No matter which way you decide to keep your couples diary start it today and you will be one day closer to be able to answer that question: What were we doing a year ago?