Dreaming Together

Dream board are simple things that the two of you can put together that will keep you focused on your dreams. You simply put things you want or desire up on the board then hang it up where you can see it every day. Put up pictures of where you want to live, cars you want to have, and places you want to go. Doing this keeps these objects in your mind and seeing them everyday will bring them closer to you then you think. If you want an amazing camera, or a yacht then put it up on your board. Don't worry if you feel that the item is out of your reach because if you believe in yourself you soon will find yourself shopping for that item. Once your board is up, make sure you spend time looking at it everyday and do it as a couple also. Put your arms around each other and talk as if you already have the things in the picture. Say things like I think, "I will take the Cadillac to work today", or "After work lets set out on the deck and listen to the ocean waves" By imagining the things you desire you bring them closer. It might seem silly at first but believe me those desires can become reality you just have to believe.

Learn about your partners past if they will let you.

Most of us have events in our life that have shaped who we are and the reactions we have to things. Do you know those important things about your partner? Do you know why the won't touch alcohol or why they shy away from touch sometimes. Do you understand that sometimes they need a little extra to compensate for something that they missed as a child? These are things that don't just get expressed on your first few dates. These are deep dark secrets that take comfort and love to let someone else know. You are given a wonderful gift when they share these things with you and yet sometimes we don't know quite how to handle them. First and for most keep their confidence in you and don't go trying to fix it tomorrow. This baggage has formed over years and isn't about to go away with one little conversation about it. Don't get discouraged either know that when something is hidden away for long periods of time it forms it's own defense and won't be easily broken down. Things like sexual abuse, alcohol problems, emotional abuse are all things that can affect your relationship but are not going to be easily put to rest. Listening is your best friend, don't judge or offer answers right away let the person get it off their chest and mind. Be their friend and don't get defensive of them ask questions like "How did that make you feel?", or "How did you handle that?" be his/her rock at this point. Don't try to out do him/her even if you have had something happen in your opinion that was much worse. Focus on the pain that your partner is feeling at this point of them opening up. If the problem becomes a burden and starts affecting your relationship then maybe you might suggestion counseling. The point is they need your help but you cannot possibly know how they are feeling because you didn't live it. People will react differently to the same instance so their is no quick fix here. The best thing you can do is be supportive and give all your love to them. Picking up the pieces is hard work and trying to put the puzzle back together is even harder.

Love can heal.

Love is one of the most powerful things in our lives. It gives us strength and power to do things we never thought we would be able, too. Yet we constantly doubt it's power. I have recently be studying Huna, which is a way of living the Hawaiian culture teaches, and it has shown me even more how important love is to our daily life. Love is the feeling that someone is there to catch you and make you feel better. Which leads me to or subject for today. Love, can it heal? We know it is a wonderful feeling but can it make your health better? Yes is the answer. Studies show that people who claim to be in love actually live longer than those that don't. Love is a great reliever of stress, and you have someone to vent your anger with. Now your stress level is lower. We can see the long terms of love quite easily, together we are stronger. How about a quick healing can love cure illnesses right away. Is there the power to cure cancer or heat problems in our love? I say that if you truly believe so with out a doubt that yes love can heal those challenges. The problems lies in that we are taught that this doesn't work. We fall into societies ignorance that you don't need love and that love is an desire not a need. Well my friends I don't know about you but love is more than a desire to me. It roots deep in my soul and I can feel it's power. Now trying to find a way to use that love power to heal the ill is another challenge. For starters that person has to believe in the power to or their body will reject your love like it rejects or tries to fight off viruses. I like to think of love like water let it flow through both of you and cleanse the challenged area diluting and disputing the challengers hold on the ill persons body. Hold each other and imagine water rushing though both of your bodies let the passion you hold for each other take over and speak no words. I am not knocking modern medicine and I feel it is also very powerful but I think for someone to truly get well they need this love cleanse to coarse through their body. Now we all know that we cannot live forever that is not an option but to extend the time you are together to love each other, now that my friends is a miracle. Each and every extra minute you can get is a blessing, just ask someone that has lost a love.

Tuck em in!

It may sound a little silly but you need to tuck in your partner if they are the first one to go to bed. I know in my relationship my partner enjoys going to bed much earlier than I do. I enjoy staying up til the wee hours of the morning. My partner has tried this with me but it is just not to their liking. I have tried going to bed at the same time as my partner and it disrupts my whole day and night. In an effort to compromise each night that I am home, when my partner heads off to bed. I follow in like I am going to sleep with them I get in bed and spend at least 15 minutes with them as they fall asleep. This might seem a little strange but it gives us the bond at night time I hate to call it tucking them in but that is what is seems like. It is just that little security that comes from falling asleep with your partner. Once I feel like my partner is comfortable I quietly slip out of the room and continue my night. Spending those 15 minutes together in the peace of the night has made a wonderful routine for our relationship. Try it if you don't have matching sleeping styles it just might be what your relationship needs.

Get the clutter out of your house and relationship.

I am sure there are not many of you out there that can honestly say that you don't have any clutter around your house. Now start thinking the same way about your relationship, do you have clutter there? I can see all your eyebrows raising as you start to ponder. Don't think to hard about it just watch your daily activities and see if there is anything you classify as clutter. For example do you have pictures of the two of you doing fun stuff together just laying around the house or in a drawer somewhere? Get them out make a scrapbook of the ones you love and get rid of the rest of the pictures. Do you have items that you picked up during your relationship that are sentimental or remind you of special times, shoved in a closet or the back of the cabinet? Take a picture of them put it in your scrap book and get rid of them. Make a collage of these pictures and hang it on your wall. Do you have sexy sleepwear that you never wear? Put it on and take a picture for you mate and then make a special box for it with items you use for sex and store them there. We hold on to things way to long that we don't use for sentimental reasons. I am sure you could get about two or three big boxes and fill them with stuff you are keeping because they hold sentiment value but haven't seen the light of day in years. Record them digitally on pictures and toss them away. This way you will probably see them more often as you flip through your scrap book.

The Ego of a couple

This couple only looks like their relationship is cold. However their couples ego is warm as could be.

We all have an ego all of our own. Be it arrogant or not we all have to deal with it from time to time. My question is however do we have a ego as a couple? Do we see our relationship as different from other peoples be it better or worse. If we do have an ego on our relationship, how do we handle it together. Is it one specific ego that forms from our union or is it a combination of both of our personal egos? We all have the image of a perfect relationship and sometimes we pick a couple that we feel is the ideal couple to base that feeling on. Have you ever left a place and said to each other "Wow they are a great couple" thinking that they have it all together. However we don't know how the respond to each other when they are alone. On the surface they might seem like the couple of amazing relationships but it could all be a front. Their couples ego might be that they have to act like the most amazing couple in front of others. But, when they get behind closed doors it might be quite the opposite. I am sure that you have had contact with a couple that seems like out of the blue they are getting divorced. It shocks you and you think, "Wow they were a really happy couple" but maybe you were just baffled by their couples ego or the image it put forth. I guess what I am trying to tell you is to not let your relationship ego get disillusioned by what you view as the great relationship. Work from the stand point of making your relationship the best it can be for the two of you and let the other relationship egos fend for themselves.

Sex in a relationship is much more then it appears.

Within a loving and mutual relationship sex takes on a whole new meaning. It isn't just a pleasure of the flesh it becomes a ritual of love and a dance of the souls. Think about how you feel after you make love to your partner. Most generally you are in a sense of relaxation and comfort. Next time you make love take some mental notes on how great you feel how and the power that you have connected with your partner. Within a relationship sex is a real wonder drug not only does it bring you closer to each other but it connects the power within both of you. Forming a supper being if you will. This is why I would suggest that coupes experiment with different aspects of sex. Try different positions, explore you bodies don't get stuck doing it the same way over and over. The more you find that excites you the more the charge you will get from it afterwards. Sex in a wonderful relationship has a way of slowing down time and giving you that confidence to go out and tackle the world. Few things in the life are as pleasurable as the love and passion of your partner. That is by design, that is why we search so hard for the person that is just right for us, that person that we want to find enlightenment with. Intimacy brings together all the abilities in both of you and combines them making the bond of love the greatest power in the universe.

Watching the world go by.

Have you every just taken the time to sit and watch the world go by? Take an afternoon and you and your partner go sit on a bench somewhere in public. Watch the people hurry and scurry by and see how differently everyone goes about their business. Pick out people you think are late or have no idea where they are going. Make up fun and interesting stories about the people and where they are going or what they are doing. Sit back and relax and enjoy the rushing world all around you. Spend as much time in this slowed down pace as you can and when you have to leave get up slowly and casually stroll away. People watching can be fun and a great way to pass the time plus it gets you knowing how your partner thinks.

Send a late night email expressing your feelings or fears.

Sometimes it is hard to just bring up something that has had deep meaning in your life. It might be something from you childhood or maybe even something that your partner has done the hurt your feelings. You want to express your total feelings without being interrupted before you get your whole point across. This is where the magic thing we call email is a benefit. Find some time when you are alone and construct your message to your partner, opening up your feelings and letting your emotions come out in the email. Send it to them and say nothing, never ask if they got the email, just wait for a reply either in person or by return email. Sure, face to face talking is always the best but sometimes if you might be embarrassed or scared to tell them how you feel. Most likely your partner will understand your feelings and then you have now opened up the lines of communication and found another way to communicate with the person you love.

Sexual Good Luck

Some people believe that sex is a deterrent and that it keeps you from focusing on your goals. I remember hearing about one soccer coach that wouldn't let his players have sex during the World Cup. Needless to say they didn't win. My feelings on this subject are a little different. I believe that sex can be a distraction from your goals, if your not getting any. Let me put it this way, we are going to think about sex and want sex that is human nature (especially for us men). The longer we go without having satisfying sex the more our mind searches out sex (or thinks about it) this is why we can't focus on our goals. I feel that if your sex life is very satisfying and you don't have to wonder when and if you are ever going to get it, it frees your mind up to concentrate on the other things important in your life. Try it out make sure to have adequate sex for the next few months and see how much more you get done. You might be amazed. Once we remove the distractions (in this case the yearning for sex) the goal line seem clear and easy to reach. Plus the sex is a great feeling in it's self!!!! With this principal in place great sex will bring your so much good luck!!

The Scarlet Letter

You may have had to read the book, The Scarlet Letter, at some point during your school years. If not, here is my brief over view. A woman commits adultery and has to wear a scarlet letter “A” on all her clothes. Mind you, we are not going to confess our sins on our clothing, but we are going to use it to tell our partner what we want. So start searching through your clothes for ones that have letters on them. If you don't have any with letters, then just go buy some cloth or foam letters at your local discount store. You can make variations to this by putting the letters on the headboard or on the mirror in the bathroom. Especially if you want this to remain a secret and not have other people asking why you are wearing letters on your clothes.

Before you pick your first letter you either need to make a master list of what each letter stands for, or slowly add letters to the first one during certain times of the day to spell out what you would like. You could even possibly text the letter using your phone to your partner. A master list could go as follows. D might mean you would like to have a nice DINNER out. W could mean you would like to take a WALK later. S might mean meet me later for SEX or HS could add to the suggestion as HOT SEX. Pick a specific day to try your scarlet letter activity and maybe do it once a month so that each of you gets a turn. Remember we are not branding you for sins here. We are creating ways for you to get what you need out of a relationship.

Relationships are give and take and it is unlikely that anyone truly wants to be on only the giving side. So start planning now what letter you will pick first. Will it be I, E, O, or U? Wait a second - I feel like I am stuck in a version of Wheel of Fortune. Quick buy a vowel and spin again.

One word of caution - make sure each of you knows what the letters stand for. Don't assume that your partner will know what that BJ stands for because you might end up with a BOWL of JELLO.