Learn about your partners past if they will let you.

Most of us have events in our life that have shaped who we are and the reactions we have to things. Do you know those important things about your partner? Do you know why the won't touch alcohol or why they shy away from touch sometimes. Do you understand that sometimes they need a little extra to compensate for something that they missed as a child? These are things that don't just get expressed on your first few dates. These are deep dark secrets that take comfort and love to let someone else know. You are given a wonderful gift when they share these things with you and yet sometimes we don't know quite how to handle them. First and for most keep their confidence in you and don't go trying to fix it tomorrow. This baggage has formed over years and isn't about to go away with one little conversation about it. Don't get discouraged either know that when something is hidden away for long periods of time it forms it's own defense and won't be easily broken down. Things like sexual abuse, alcohol problems, emotional abuse are all things that can affect your relationship but are not going to be easily put to rest. Listening is your best friend, don't judge or offer answers right away let the person get it off their chest and mind. Be their friend and don't get defensive of them ask questions like "How did that make you feel?", or "How did you handle that?" be his/her rock at this point. Don't try to out do him/her even if you have had something happen in your opinion that was much worse. Focus on the pain that your partner is feeling at this point of them opening up. If the problem becomes a burden and starts affecting your relationship then maybe you might suggestion counseling. The point is they need your help but you cannot possibly know how they are feeling because you didn't live it. People will react differently to the same instance so their is no quick fix here. The best thing you can do is be supportive and give all your love to them. Picking up the pieces is hard work and trying to put the puzzle back together is even harder.

Underwear don't Forget about it.

One trap you don't want to fall into when you are in a relationship is forgetting to be sexy. One of the easiest ways to forget this is by not caring about the underwear you put on. Tighty whities and Grandma Panties should never be worn when you have someone in your life that you enjoy being intimate with. I have never understood why once people are in a relationship that they let themselves slip into not being sexy for their partner. When you were dating did you wear underwear with stains on them? One of the first thing that people do when they start a new relationship is purchase new under clothes. Part of this is anticipating the first time you get to be together physically, but why should that stop once we get to know each other better? If you want to make your relationship last then you need to pay attention to areas that you might slip up in, like wearing nasty underpants. In my opinion their is no excuse for this action, yes you can wear these items to work or while you out with your friends but don't let the person you want to impress the most see this image.

Couples don't always fit together like puzzle pieces.

Did you think when you got into a relationship that was great everything would just fall into place. Did you think it would be like finding that last piece of puzzle that was a perfect fit. Well I am here to tell you that it doesn't work that way. Sure your life can be grand and you love your partner without a doubt. However, there are going to be things you just can't see eye to eye on. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be together it means you both have an opinion. I believe these differences are vital to a relationship. If you don't have things you disagree on in a relationship then in my opinion it becomes stale and boring. This is where we get to the fundamentals of a relationship. How do you handle these defences and still love each other. Well if the problem lies in what color paint to do the bedroom in your lucky. Things like how to raise the kids or actions you deem acceptable are very touchy. Patience and virtue are important if dealing with these disagreements. Conversation is the key and both parities need to express their opinions. Together is how you defeat these things you don't see on the same level. You might not be able to sway your partners opinion but you might be able to get them to see your position. That still might not get you on the same page but it might enlighten the subject and your view.

Relationships are constantly changing and you can look forward to that for the rest of your life!

Contact Me if you would like some Help!

If any of you viewers has a question or a concern about your relationship, please don't hesitate to ask. I am here to help in whatever manner I can. Send me you questions and I will give you my take on the situation. Your correspondence will always be confidential and private.

Peace,
Rob