The Other Woman

“LOCK OUT YOUR husband, put out your pets. Order take-out for dinner even, because once you start reading this book, you won’t want to be interrupted, trust me!” Amazon Reviewer

Book links:

Amazon UK:
http://amzn.to/1E3KGa7

Amazon US:
http://amzn.to/1BeLcB5

Amazon Aus:
http://bit.ly/1IXc5up

A True Friend Lets You Be You

Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is.

--Jim Morrison 

Get in touch with your body before you try to get in touch with your partners.

Our bodies give us so much information that we don't take seriously at many times. I am sure you have heard the expressions, "Women's Intuition" or "Gut reaction" these are way our body tries to tell us that something is not just right with what we are doing. I have heard stories about men and women that have had such strong reaction to these feelings that it changes there approach. Only to find out later that something bad would have happened had they went the other way. We have to learn to trust our own bodies and then start trusting the feelings our partner gets in the same manner. The two feelings combined will create a wonderful bond for the two of you and you will learn to tell when something doesn't feel right to your partner. Together you can form a tight bond and feel the love that surrounds you.

Fight the urge to think the worst.

Sometimes in a relationship we forget how much our partner loves us. We have visions pop into our heads either because to past problems in other relationship or because we listen to other people. Well for a relationship to thrive you have to trust one another. When you have that trust your partner will look even more beautiful and wonderful. Don't let the worries eat at you they only cause the worst to come about. When ever you start to wonder about things let your mind slip to found memories you have about great times in your relationship. How could your partner do anything put have love for you. Think the best and the best will come about. Make that trust you have the most important thinking in your mind and soon you will find your relationship growing. Far to many people try to control their partner and it is silly because the is the worst thing you can do if you want them to be happy with you. So relax and enjoy the love that they two of you have. If something happens then you deal with it as it comes don't bring it on by thinking about it.

Put your feelings in a journal for each other to read.

Here is a great way to let your partner know how you are feeling. Start a feelings journal that you can keep by your bed. What is a feelings journal?, you might ask. Well it is a little book where you write anything you would like your partner to know. It can be things that bother you, or the way they make you feel great, to even things you would like to discover or try. The subject matter can range between bills to sex. The point is the journal is a way to communicate things to each other. The way it works is you both set a time for you to write your feelings in the journal. Make these different time I would suggest a time where the two of you are apart and not only do you write your feeling in your feelings journal you read what you partner has wrote. A feelings journal is a great way to express to each other feelings that you might not be comfortable with just talking during your normal conversations. Now here is the kicker you don't ever confront you partner on what they wrote! You take it in put it in your mind, you can act on it later but you, never ever read their statement and go right out to confront them about it. I think once you get in the habit of writing and reading a feelings journal you will become closer. One last word of advise this is not a bashing journal if all you are going to do is write down things that upset you then you might as well throw the journal out the window now. Sure sometimes you will want to address something negative but most of the time it should be positive and build your relationship. Try it out I am sure you will enjoy it and it only takes a couple of minutes a day. Time well spent.

Send a late night email expressing your feelings or fears.

Sometimes it is hard to just bring up something that has had deep meaning in your life. It might be something from you childhood or maybe even something that your partner has done the hurt your feelings. You want to express your total feelings without being interrupted before you get your whole point across. This is where the magic thing we call email is a benefit. Find some time when you are alone and construct your message to your partner, opening up your feelings and letting your emotions come out in the email. Send it to them and say nothing, never ask if they got the email, just wait for a reply either in person or by return email. Sure, face to face talking is always the best but sometimes if you might be embarrassed or scared to tell them how you feel. Most likely your partner will understand your feelings and then you have now opened up the lines of communication and found another way to communicate with the person you love.

Is love a perception or a feeling?

We have all heard at some point and time that love is a feeling. Love is caring about another individual as much if not more than yourself. We all strive to get that feeling and are comfortable when we feel we have it. Now my question is can you measure the amount of love one person has for another? If not then is love just your perception of that feeling? Take for example one person might cook dinner for their partner because they love them and wants them to have a good meal. To the next person that might just be one of the chores that they perform at their household. I question and wonder if the feeling comes first or the perception? If you can think your love is unconditional then maybe you think the feeling comes first. On the other hand however do we have to wait for the actions to show us that we are loved. It seems like the chicken and egg routine all over again. I personal feel like people view love in very different manners, and I believe that some people do feel the lover first and others need the perception first to validate the love. I think maybe if it is possible that it's a combination of the two. Happening at the exact same time that creates true love. This might be getting a little deep for you and I am not asking you to question your feelings and or love for your partner. I am just curious as to how we arrive at loving someone.

Your Relationship is part of all you do.

Once your a couple one thing you need to come to grips with is that your relationship is no longer yours or mine it is ours. This is a hard fact to grasp for most people, gone are the times that you only think about yourself. No longer can you just stay out all night with out letting someone know, and this is not because you have to but it is out of respect. You now have someone in your life that is worried about you. This person cares about you and to just not come home without letting them know is a terrible thing to put them through. No you do not have to run everything you do by them but you need to show respect when things are going to make you stray from your routine. This goes for both men and women, if you are going to stop at the bar for some drinks with your friends a call is important. Building trust is an important part of a relationship but keeping your partner in the dark can destroy that trust in a matter of minutes. Relationships are a commitment but they are not designed to be a jail term. Have your fun, just make sure your partner has an idea of what is going on.

Document major achievements in your relationship.

We all make sure to document times like anniversaries and birthdays but do you remember in important times in your relationship? The first date, the first kiss, your first vacation together, the list can go on and on but do we really document these things? Well you could really surprise your mate by making a big deal over any of them. For instance my partner and I attended a movie on our first date and on our first year anniversary I had the ticket stubs framed for us to put on our wall. Now that may seem like a lame gift but it had such sentimental value that really you couldn't put a price on it. Later on in our relationship I gave her a note that she passed to me on one of our dates, she was shocked and amazed that I had kept that note. In return she has impressed me with her documenting things in our relationship. She could tell me the exact clothes I was wearing on our first date, and the song that was playing the first time we kissed. If you haven't yet start a journal of all these wonderful memories and firsts, then when ever you want to create a sentimental memory all you have to do is look back in the journal to find them. D0n't be afraid to do this if you have been in your relationship for a long time, the things you do today might be important in another ten years. So don't delay start your memory journal today.

Don't be so quick to react.

One thing that I feel is very important when dealing with troubles in a relationship is to react to quickly. When we first hear the sound of bad news we are usually quick react usually in a negative way. However take some time get a few deep breaths and think before you say anything. Money issues and job losses are part of life and if you jump all over your partner before you hear their story you might be jumping to conclusions. How do you think your partner would feel if you jumped them for losing their job only to find out later that they wouldn't give in to doing something illegal for their boss. Look at every situation from every angle before you jump in to offer you opinion. This will keep your relationship in tip top shape. Mistakes happen and they shouldn't come between two people that love each other.

Lets gain some trust today.

Trust is an important part of any relationship. We understand that and when trust becomes an issue relationships seem to crumble. So today I suggest you try a trust building exercise. I want you to do one of your normal chores at home with a twist. I want you and your partner to do it together with the person that normally does the chore blindfolded. The other partner is to without touching you lead you through the chore by giving you instructions. Sounds difficult huh? Well with some practice you will gain trust in listening to your partner. I am sure a first you will think "I can do this blindfolded by myself, I've done it so many times" I am sure you will quickly find out you will need your partners help. Ah here lies the trust building. After you complete your task then it is time to reverse the situation. Now go find a chore you partner usually completes and you guide them.

This exercise will build trust and as an added bonus helps build team work in your relationship. Understand however your chores will take a little longer today. So don't get upset and make sure to laugh at the mistakes that happen. End the session with a thank you to your partner and a big kiss.