Together overcome!

It is a fact of life that at some points and time some depression will hit your life. This is when it is great to be in a loving and caring relationship. Nothing knocks depression for a loop like someone telling you how much they love you and how great you are. That person is and should be your partner. They are the support that is always there they are the rock that doesn't waiver. Sometimes you are that partner and sometimes you need that partner. Love is a wonderful tool in so many ways yet people don't know how to use it to the best of it's ability in most cases. Love is not physical, it is not emotional, and it is not spiritual, it is all these things rolled together. When you understand this you will see that love is the greatest gift we can give or receive. Think of that the next time you partner has a bad day and instead of hiding in another area of the house offer up some physical, emotional and spiritual words to break that frown into a smile.

Get in touch with your body before you try to get in touch with your partners.

Our bodies give us so much information that we don't take seriously at many times. I am sure you have heard the expressions, "Women's Intuition" or "Gut reaction" these are way our body tries to tell us that something is not just right with what we are doing. I have heard stories about men and women that have had such strong reaction to these feelings that it changes there approach. Only to find out later that something bad would have happened had they went the other way. We have to learn to trust our own bodies and then start trusting the feelings our partner gets in the same manner. The two feelings combined will create a wonderful bond for the two of you and you will learn to tell when something doesn't feel right to your partner. Together you can form a tight bond and feel the love that surrounds you.

Let you partner know you are talking good about them.

You won't believe what my husband did....

We all are curious about how are partner talks about us when they are not around us. We wonder to they bash us and only tell their friends about the not so good things we do. Could be possible that they are speaking like we are a saint? There is no way to tell for sure unless you overhear a conversation and hard as it is that is eavesdropping and isn't right. This is where we can tell our partner when we talk good about them. Let them know that you told your girlfriends how romantic they are or when you tell the guys how you have the best partner in the world. Tell them specifics like, "The other day the girls went nuts when I showed them the note you left me when you went on your trip" or "All the guys are so jealous of me because I told them about you sitting up that special trip to the ballpark for me" We so often have an vision of your partner belittling us because that is what we see on television. Another good reason to pitch the television. The programs and talk shows are full of people talking about the terrible things their lovers do. Maybe we should start a show called "How great my lover is" that lets people talk about the good in their relationship. No fights just proud partners expressing how wonderful their partner is. Now I might watch that show to pick up some extra wonderful things to do. Go a step farther and ask you friends when they are bashing their mate, "Does you partner do anything that pleases you?" Get them searching their mind for positive things and you might just chance a persons whole day.

Fight the urge to think the worst.

Sometimes in a relationship we forget how much our partner loves us. We have visions pop into our heads either because to past problems in other relationship or because we listen to other people. Well for a relationship to thrive you have to trust one another. When you have that trust your partner will look even more beautiful and wonderful. Don't let the worries eat at you they only cause the worst to come about. When ever you start to wonder about things let your mind slip to found memories you have about great times in your relationship. How could your partner do anything put have love for you. Think the best and the best will come about. Make that trust you have the most important thinking in your mind and soon you will find your relationship growing. Far to many people try to control their partner and it is silly because the is the worst thing you can do if you want them to be happy with you. So relax and enjoy the love that they two of you have. If something happens then you deal with it as it comes don't bring it on by thinking about it.

Hugs are not only fun they are important.

Touch is a wonderful thing that most all of us love. However it is not only an enjoyment it is a basic human need. Starting from the time we are born we crave and love touch. It tells us we are love, consoles us when we are upset and gives us a sense of desire and passion. Hugs have actually been shown to improve our lives. In the book THE ALADDIN FACTOR, it states that 4 hugs a day are needed for survival, 8 hugs a day to keep our relationship in tip top shape, and 12 hugs a day for our lives to grow and thrive. So stop being selfish with your hugs and don't stop with your partner make sure you children and family share the sensation also. Hugs are not as intimate as kisses so you can give them to friends and even strangers without fear of being weird. Everyone benefits from hugs so spread the hugs around and make sure to get your share.

Pump energy into everything you do together.

One of the best features of being in a relationship is that you always have support. There is always that special person their to pump you up. No matter what you are doing together it should feel like a date. Going to the grocery store, racking leaves, or cooking super should be a chance to enjoy each others company as well as getting chores done. There is a special bond between the two of you and it should create an amazing energy that you both get to enjoy. I know you know a couple that always seem to have fun together. Why not be that couple. The one person that you can count on and love can also be one of your best friends if not your best friend. Using your relationship to energize yourself is a wonderful way to keep that special bond between your partner and you. I know when I am away from my partner it is always a rush when I get to see them again. Use your partner as a spark plug and your relationship will stay vibrant for a long long time.

Hair / Head Massage.

When you partners runs their fingers though you hair, do you get a wonderful sensation that you wish wouldn't stop. Maybe your sitting home reading together when your partner starts scratching your head. You want to be like a dog and start moving your leg with the scratching. My point with all this is that we sometimes forget what wonderful sensations that touching can have on our head and hair. Take about ten minutes and give your partner a massage on their head, making sure to pay attention to the hair. Move the hair around, tussle it a little bit and get those nerves in your head and follicles singing with feeling. You might be amazed at how wonderful and exciting this massage can feel. Get online and find some great technique and tonight surprise your lover with a little head massage to get them relaxed. What happens after that is totally up to you and the sensation your head massage gives.

Your mother, their mother, oh mother!

Mothers day has so many ways to celebrate as we go into this celebration of the wonderful women in our life. Start with the mother that brought you into this world give her the justice she deserves for putting up with you crap during your teenage years. Give her the hugs and kisses you held back when she didn't let you go on the trip that landed your friends in jail. Next move on to the woman that mothered your children (if you don't have children skip this step) Give her all the praise and wonderment she deserves for going through labor to bring that wonderful bundle of joy that you have in your life. Finally celebrate the woman in your life for the amazing creature that she is for putting up with your shit. I mean come on how many times have you pissed her off or done something totally stupid and yet she still loves you. You know it is sad that most people wait until this day to celebrate these wonderful women. Maybe we should take a little more time during the rest of the year to make them know how important they are to us. We Love You Women, Thank YOU!!!!

Time to get a little unpredictable.

Everyone at some point or time feels like it the sex in their relationship gets a little predictable. The same things happen over and over you begin to form a pattern. Partially because you find out what each other likes and partially because your afraid to try some different things. There are so many different things to try out there that your sex life should never get mundane. Get on the internet or go to the bookstore together and find a book or two that might help you get our of the routine sex. Role playing is a great way to snap out of the normal and bring some excitement to the bedroom. Don't worry about being silly just do it be the plumber and the horny housewife, or the school teacher and student. Get some laugher into the bedroom. The great people at Sex is Fun have a new game out that challenges you to be unpredictable and by some great idea that is the name of the game. We here at The Couples Spot have produced our own way to get you out of your sexual rut and you can find our way buy Clicking her to go to our Sexy Challenges Page. Our challenges give you specific missions to complete that will get you closer intimately and make sure you score at the end of the night.

You love is never ending.

You know we think that when we give our love to our partner it stops there. We give our partner a kiss and tell them we love them. We don't think about how that simple act of love can grow and magnify. For starters it puts our partner in a good mood, so that automatically start feelings better and special. They in turn will be happy and spread that love around as they go about their day. The people that benefit from that spreading of love are people like your children, coworkers, and everyone they interact with. They will be friendly at the bank at work, even towards people they meet on the street. Eventually that love might even come back to your during the day. Be it someone you partner passed during the day or you children when you get home that love will return to you creating a never ending cycle. I didn't even mention how much love you will get in return from you partner. Start you cycle right now and walk over and kiss your partner for no reason, tell them you love them and walk away. No you have set the never ending love in motion, enjoy it when it comes back.

Today is my Birthday!

Yes today is my birthday and I am excited. As far as couples go this is a great time for the two of you to experiment a little. The birthday girl/boy is the one that should get to choose what happens on their birthday. As the present giver and as long as the request is not to far out of your comfort zone, do it. Try something different you might be amazed at how much it excites you plus you will have the joy of knowing you did it for that special person in your life on there birthday. Make your partners birthday as special as you can it is the one day they can be a little selfish so don't take that thunder away from them. Plus don't forget you will be having a birthday soon, too.

Is love a perception or a feeling?

We have all heard at some point and time that love is a feeling. Love is caring about another individual as much if not more than yourself. We all strive to get that feeling and are comfortable when we feel we have it. Now my question is can you measure the amount of love one person has for another? If not then is love just your perception of that feeling? Take for example one person might cook dinner for their partner because they love them and wants them to have a good meal. To the next person that might just be one of the chores that they perform at their household. I question and wonder if the feeling comes first or the perception? If you can think your love is unconditional then maybe you think the feeling comes first. On the other hand however do we have to wait for the actions to show us that we are loved. It seems like the chicken and egg routine all over again. I personal feel like people view love in very different manners, and I believe that some people do feel the lover first and others need the perception first to validate the love. I think maybe if it is possible that it's a combination of the two. Happening at the exact same time that creates true love. This might be getting a little deep for you and I am not asking you to question your feelings and or love for your partner. I am just curious as to how we arrive at loving someone.

Sexy Sleepwear for men??? where is it?

About every week we get a new Victoria Secret Catalog in the mail. Page after page of beautiful women wearing the most sexy things you can imagine. The images are beautiful and sexy and they get me thinking about sex right away. However what is sexy for a man to wear. Boxers is about the only thing that pops into my mind and they have overdone that so much. I mean really are boxers with cartoon characters on them sex??? Another fact is that they make sexy clothing for women that are a little out of shape but for men where is the sexy thing that hides our bellies. Does the world not care about the state of sexiness for men? How can we look sexy with out looking, well for lack of a better word, silly. I mean can us normal guys pull off a small pair of undies or a thong with a banana on the front? Come on designers I challenge you to make something that will make us men look sexy and not silly. I don't know the answer or I would market it myself. Sexy shouldn't just be for the really in shape people, we all want to feel comfortable in our bodies and sex would be great exercise for some people. So we as a society need to find something that will have our partners biting their lips with ecstasy instead of rolling around on the bed laughing.

Experiment with your toes a little

Toes, toes, toes, they never get the recognition they deserve. Unless you have a foot fetish or a toe fetish they pretty much go unnoticed. However, toes can be wonderfully sexy. Freshly painted toenails can add an excitement to your love making. Using your toes as a sensual tool can be a challenge that most couples will find a little exciting. You can do so much with your toes that are sexy. Think about massaging your partner with you toes. Using your toes like your fingers you can run them across your partners genitals to get them aroused and feeling vital with a new sensation. Rubbing your partners toes can be a turn on for both partners with the use of oil and technique you can turn your toes into a erogenous zone very quickly. Kissing and sucking on clean toes gives another sensual dimension to your love making. Toes may not be the first thing you think about when you become aroused but they can definitely add to the adventure of intimacy.

Being intimate is not a bargaining tool.

One thing every person knows is that intimacy and sex is important in a relationship. However, so many couples use it as a bargaining tool. Both sides are to blame. Remember when you started dating and the passion and intimacy just happened. Some how when we become life partners we forget about that. We let things like work, kids, and countless other things get in the way of the freedom we had in our intimacy. Yet we do nothing about it. We hear things like "Well if you helped more around the house, I might be in the mood more" or "Well if you didn't let yourself go, I would be more attracted to you again" These things hurt and are most definitely not good for a relationship. Never should you put a tag on your love life, that should be a mutual exchange of the love between the two of you, not just a chore. You can't force sex and you can't ignore sex, it has to be in a relationship to make both partners happy. The passion has to come back and you have to compromise or you just end up becoming roommates. Use this exercise to help you get over you stipulations on sex, think about the wonderful things your partner does, think about the wonderful times you have had together, and relive all those feelings. Do you want to create more of them? Well think back what was going on in your life when they happened, most likely there was a lot of passion between the two of you????? Are you getting the picture make it a point to woe each other again, get excited about having a date together, kiss when you come home from work, these little things will start to manifest your desire for each other and soon you won't have to worry about it the passion will take care of itself.

Easter is a time of renewal.

Easter if you are a religious person marks the returning of Jesus. If you are not then easter marks the returning of life in the form of flowers, and plants. Which ever you believe make it a point to renew you love on easter. Get out and enjoy the warm weather and the purity that is nature with each other. Breath in the fresh air and breath fresh life into your relationship. Sit down and think for a minute about why you fell in love with your mate, are those qualities still there. If you say no then you might need to look a little deeper. People do change over time so maybe there is something new that you are thankful for in your partner. Don't let your love slip away from you, it is time to put focus back into your relationship. Things outside are starting to spring back to life and your relationship if not it them best shape should take a note from nature and revive it's self. Show this post your your partner and let them get their own take on it and then together sit down and list the qualities that you love about your partner on a piece of paper. Then exchange them and see what you think about each other. This is a great exercise to keep your relationship strong and vibrant. Do not put down anything negative as we want to focus on the positive. List personalty traits, their physical apprearance, as well as the great things they do for you and the community. What your partner swell with pride as the read the great things that you think about them. Easter again is a time for renewal so take the time to renew your feelings about the person you love the most.

Are you repaying your partners favors?

Do you remember last week when you partner dropped everything to help you out? Did you ever repay that favor? So many times in our busy life we forget to really thank the person we love for helping us out. Maybe it was a massage or taking the kids to give you some quite time. No matter what the favor you need to make the effort to thank them for it. Make your repayment something that they enjoy and wouldn't expect you to do. Maybe cook them their favorite dinner or give them a wonderful massage. Maybe you could find a movie that they have been wanting to watch or wear that lingerie that you have just thrown in the drawer. If you don't repay these favors you might find yourself not getting them in the future. Keep the balance close of the amount of favors you do for each other and neither one of you will ever feel unappreciated. When we do favors we do not expect repayment but it goes without saying that it should be a mandate. Thank them often for being their for you and they always will be.

Butt Massage!

A great way to make your partner feel good and maybe warm them up for some sexual activity, is a butt or glute massage. I have attached a video on the massaging the rear end. Massaging this area can be quite erotic for both the giver and receiver. Set the tone for the massage even before you get your subject in the room. Light some candles, have nice full towels scattered around and pick up some wonderful massage oil. Massage oil is important because it allows your hands to be forceful yet glide over the areas without resistance. Don't be to ready for sex afterwards because this technique might work so well at relaxing your partner that they might fall asleep. Remember touching is a wonderful tool in building relationship so don't shy away from it.

Smoothies, fun and enjoyable.

Kitchen chores such as cooking and cleaning are usually not much fun. However making smoothies with you partner can not only be fun but it can be health for you also. Plus the clean up is a breeze. First of all make sure you have a great blender for this adventure. If not you can pick one up on your next step, which is to get your butts to the store. Search the aisles for fruits and juices you enjoy. Things like bananas, pineapple, blueberries, orange juice, kiwi, the list goes on and on but these will be your ingredients for your smoothie. I personally like to make mine with milk or cream, but that is what I like. Now once you get home here is where the fun starts. Cut up your items that need to be downsides for the blender making sure to feed each other a piece from time to time. Now to make this smoothie a couples smoothie you have to take turns adding ingredients. Pick your base, it can be a juice base or my preference milk based. Next start adding the other ingredients one by one with both of you taking turns picking your favorite. Once all items are in the blender, blend away and then pour into some special glasses and enjoy your personal couples smoothie. Oh, I forgot about the easy clean up, open up the door of the dish washer and up in the blender and utensils used to downsize the ingredients and presto you are done.

Take a Moonlight Drive.

During the Holiday season a very romantic thing to do is to take a late night drive and check out all the Christmas decorations. Only at this time of year will your drive be filled with houses decked out in lights or festive holiday themes. If you check around a bit you might find a local park or zoo that might have a small charge for a wonderful light display. I know just about 20 minutes from our house a park has a light show that is a must see for us and our children every year. Make a little challenge of it and mark you favorites, rate them from best to worst so that next year you can return as most people find this a competition any way. You can usually find the same houses decorated each year if you can remember where they are. Sometimes you will find whole neighborhoods dressed in lights while other times you might just find a diamond in the rough out off a back road. Ask around your friends and sometimes they can lead you to some of the more wonderful light displays. The most wonderful part about this activity is that no matter how big your family is everyone can enjoy it. If it is only the two of you or is you have four kids it can still be just as wonderful listening to them get excited looking for lights.