Showing posts with label worry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label worry. Show all posts

Friday, April 9, 2010

Being intimate is not a bargaining tool.


One thing every person knows is that intimacy and sex is important in a relationship. However, so many couples use it as a bargaining tool. Both sides are to blame. Remember when you started dating and the passion and intimacy just happened. Some how when we become life partners we forget about that. We let things like work, kids, and countless other things get in the way of the freedom we had in our intimacy. Yet we do nothing about it. We hear things like "Well if you helped more around the house, I might be in the mood more" or "Well if you didn't let yourself go, I would be more attracted to you again" These things hurt and are most definitely not good for a relationship. Never should you put a tag on your love life, that should be a mutual exchange of the love between the two of you, not just a chore. You can't force sex and you can't ignore sex, it has to be in a relationship to make both partners happy. The passion has to come back and you have to compromise or you just end up becoming roommates. Use this exercise to help you get over you stipulations on sex, think about the wonderful things your partner does, think about the wonderful times you have had together, and relive all those feelings. Do you want to create more of them? Well think back what was going on in your life when they happened, most likely there was a lot of passion between the two of you????? Are you getting the picture make it a point to woe each other again, get excited about having a date together, kiss when you come home from work, these little things will start to manifest your desire for each other and soon you won't have to worry about it the passion will take care of itself.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Arguing 101


Arguing 101


One of the most important things a couple must do is argue correctly. This is a very hard mission for a lot of couples. As both partners must get their point out and we are so very unlikely to listen to another point of view other then our own.


So the most basic part of an argument is to let each other get your point across. You may not like what the other partner has to say but you owe it to them to listen. So without a doubt part of arguing is listening and finding a way to compromise each others points of view. Once you can master this you are ready to move into the actual argument or as I like to say it debate. Yelling is not necessary and you should respect the others feelings even if you think they are wrong.