Material Things In Your LIfe

I am convinced that material things can contribute a lot to making one's life pleasant, but, basically, if you do not have very good friends and relatives who matter to you, life will be really empty and sad and material things cease to be important.
David Rockefeller 

Don't Mess Around With That One

Sometimes we seriously should listen to our friends.

Of course, other times they don't know what they hell they are talking about.

Photo credit: © andrewgenn - Fotolia.com

Let you partner know you are talking good about them.

You won't believe what my husband did....

We all are curious about how are partner talks about us when they are not around us. We wonder to they bash us and only tell their friends about the not so good things we do. Could be possible that they are speaking like we are a saint? There is no way to tell for sure unless you overhear a conversation and hard as it is that is eavesdropping and isn't right. This is where we can tell our partner when we talk good about them. Let them know that you told your girlfriends how romantic they are or when you tell the guys how you have the best partner in the world. Tell them specifics like, "The other day the girls went nuts when I showed them the note you left me when you went on your trip" or "All the guys are so jealous of me because I told them about you sitting up that special trip to the ballpark for me" We so often have an vision of your partner belittling us because that is what we see on television. Another good reason to pitch the television. The programs and talk shows are full of people talking about the terrible things their lovers do. Maybe we should start a show called "How great my lover is" that lets people talk about the good in their relationship. No fights just proud partners expressing how wonderful their partner is. Now I might watch that show to pick up some extra wonderful things to do. Go a step farther and ask you friends when they are bashing their mate, "Does you partner do anything that pleases you?" Get them searching their mind for positive things and you might just chance a persons whole day.

Pump energy into everything you do together.

One of the best features of being in a relationship is that you always have support. There is always that special person their to pump you up. No matter what you are doing together it should feel like a date. Going to the grocery store, racking leaves, or cooking super should be a chance to enjoy each others company as well as getting chores done. There is a special bond between the two of you and it should create an amazing energy that you both get to enjoy. I know you know a couple that always seem to have fun together. Why not be that couple. The one person that you can count on and love can also be one of your best friends if not your best friend. Using your relationship to energize yourself is a wonderful way to keep that special bond between your partner and you. I know when I am away from my partner it is always a rush when I get to see them again. Use your partner as a spark plug and your relationship will stay vibrant for a long long time.

Independence Day

Independence Day stands for a lot of things here in the United States and our freedom is the most important. America was build on the fact that we can do what we want and feel comfortable expressing ourselves. So I want to start today by thanking all the people through out our history that made this happen. I enjoy being able to blog and not worry that someone is going to come up and say to me you that I can't do what I enjoy.

Relationship independence is also something you need to have in your life. Do you have things that you enjoy doing outside of your relationship? Maybe it is hanging with your friends or having some alone time. Either way make sure to find time for you to have some independence. Use it to make your relationship stronger, so that you have things to talk about later in the day. Don't use it as a time to break your commitment with you partner or to do things that might jeopardise your relationship. Go golfing with you buddies but when they start being obnoxious towards the opposite sex, don't join in. Have fun but remember you have someone at home that you love very much.

Just be buddies for a day!

There is so much pressure in a relationship to have it perfect. Being romantic enough, having your finances in order, having the best sex possible, and catering to each other are enough to give you a break down. First thing, stop trying to make your relationship perfect it isn't possible. No relationship is perfect they all have flaws of some sorts.

The next time the two of you have a day just to hang out with each other I want you to just be friends. Treat each other like you would your friends. Joke around do things that you aren't relationship based. Go play golf, go shopping, eat at a place that isn't romantic, do what you do when the two of you are apart. Have fun, be silly, and don't put any pressure on the day by being a couple. This might sound a little silly but it will bring you closer more so than you might think.

One of the biggest problems I hear from couples is they don't have fun together anymore. Their dates seem like chores or things they must do. Break out of that and start being friends again and see how it improves your relationship. When we start dating we obviously have some attraction to each other but we really want someone we can have fun with. So why should that stop once we have this wonderful relationship? You tell me.

You love is never ending.

You know we think that when we give our love to our partner it stops there. We give our partner a kiss and tell them we love them. We don't think about how that simple act of love can grow and magnify. For starters it puts our partner in a good mood, so that automatically start feelings better and special. They in turn will be happy and spread that love around as they go about their day. The people that benefit from that spreading of love are people like your children, coworkers, and everyone they interact with. They will be friendly at the bank at work, even towards people they meet on the street. Eventually that love might even come back to your during the day. Be it someone you partner passed during the day or you children when you get home that love will return to you creating a never ending cycle. I didn't even mention how much love you will get in return from you partner. Start you cycle right now and walk over and kiss your partner for no reason, tell them you love them and walk away. No you have set the never ending love in motion, enjoy it when it comes back.

Take advantage of time apart.

There are times when you and your partner will have to spend some nights apart. Be it work, children commitments, or just functions they are attending you will have to break apart. This might not be hard for some couples. However, some people have trouble sleeping when their partner is not in bed with them, or they seem lost and don't know what to do for sure. If you are one of these people that your life revolves around your relationship then you need to prepare for nights apart. Save things you need to get done for you times apart, rent movies you have wanted to watch that your partner might not enjoy, catch up with some old friends, anything you can think of to keep your mind off the time. By doing this you will soon find that the time has passed and you are ready for bed. Another thing you might do is stay up later than normal so that you are really tired when you got to bed. This way you don't lay in bed and think about that special person that is not beside you. Remember the time will pass and use it to your advantage. Get things done so that you have time with your partner when they return. Clean the house if you have nothing else to do that will occupy a lot of time.

The Economy Sucks, time to make our own entertainment.

With the shape the economy is in today, couples are having to stretch every dollar they can. Their entertainment dollar is one that is effected greatly as entertainment is not as important as paying the mortgage, or eating. Couples are having to be creative in this time of crisis. Board Games are becoming popular again as well as renting movies to view at home. The one positive thing about this is, it gives couples a little more time to themselves. Time to get reacquainted with each other, and to rely on each other. You have to choose things together and not go your separate ways. There are several ways you can find entertainment that cost next to nothing if you put your mind to it. Create a entertainment co-op and enlist the help of other couples you know. Rent a movie and invite friends over to enjoy it together, have dinner parties, enjoy the outdoors more, but most important enjoy each other. Intimacy is another area you can use as entertainment this is a great time to find out each others likes and dislikes. Even thought the economy sucks you don't have to stop enjoying yourself, just find other less expensive ways to do it.

Great Date Idea : Retro Concert

Here is a great date idea for the couple that has been together for a while. Keep your eyes on the concert scene around your area and watch for bands that were popular when you started dating. Then when they come to town doing a retro concert don't waste time and pick up tickets as soon as they go on sale. This will be a great date and a great way to remember all the fun times you had during the start of your relationship. Heck even dress the part bringing out the old time clothes if they still fit and try to recreate the things you use to do in your youth. Make it as fun as you can and invite other friends if they are still around to join the party. This is one of those ways you can really relive the past without having to build a time machine.

Are you leaving yourself to many exits to avoid intimacy?

Exits are basically ways to escape or leave things. Are you using any exits to avoid intimacy in your relationship? Think about it do you avoid intimacy in your relationship and if so what is your choice of exits. Things such as television, or sickness are two of the common ones. We have all heard the old line "Not tonight dear, I have a headache" or we get so involved in a show that we have to watch it several times a night until we are to tired. Sports are another big exit people use to get away from intimacy in a relationship. Personally I don't understand why you would want to be in a relationship and avoid intimacy. Exits can be things that are important also like you kids, do you know anyone that puts their children ahead of everything else and then doesn't have time to enjoy things they want to do. I agree that your children are important but they need to understand that relationships are important and you are the only one that can show them that. Some exits are harmful to the person or other persons in a relationship. Alcohol and drugs are the main exits people use to escape from the pressure of being in a relationship. Right now I want you to think about exits you use in your relationship, they can be things you use to avoid intimacy or even just things you use to avoid areas of your relationship such as parenting or friendship. Relationship are not easy for everyone and the are constantly requiring work, so instead of shying away with the use of exits why not buck up and put the effort into building a strong relationship?

"Sex is the glue that holds a relationship together"

"Sex is the glue that holds a relationship together" is a quote I heard on the podcast The Marital Intimacy Show that you can pick up on itunes. I agree whole heartily with this statement. There are so may aspects to our relationships but certain areas seem to help stabilize our relationship. Things like trust, care, concern are all very important in a relationship. However if you are in a committed relationship sex is the aspect that you don't share with anyone but your partner, these other factors you can experience with others that you have contact with such as friends and family. Heck you can even have trust, care and concern for your boss for peat sake. Sex however is the one thing that you save only for your relationship (I don't mean to offend those with alternative lifestyles, but my understanding is you have a relationship with each and every person involved in your life style) When you thing about it then the more glue you put on something the stronger the hold so it stands to reason that the better your sex life the better your relationship. As a matter of fact of all the people that I consider as having a great relationship the one thing that they have in common is a great sex life. It goes hand in hand. So, put some glue into your relationship today.

Appreciate the People that make your life easier.

I know this blog is about couples but, there are I am sure people in your life that help make your relationship a little better. Maybe it's the baby sitter, or the person that cleans your house but these types of people help you attend more to your relationship, by taking things off your hands and allowing you to go on dates or just relax together. It could be the kid that mows your lawn or shovels your driveway, how about the person that does you hair for special occasions. What about the neighbor that get your mail while your away on a romantic getaway. Think about the people that make your life a little easier and then go out and pick up a little something for them. Get them a gift certificate to the local fast food joint, or a movie pass it doesn't have to be a huge present just a little token of your appreciation for them. No matter how small they will appreciate it.

Invite her friends over to watch the game!

You know it is so easy to invite your friends over to watch the football game or any other sporting event. You just call them up and the will be there with beer under their arm. Have you ever thought to invite you wife or girlfriends friends over? This would be a great show of togetherness. This way that special woman in your life doesn’t just have to listen to your chest bumping friends. Next time you are planning to have the guys over ask her if she would like to invite some of her friends over and make it a little party. This way if your partner is not into the game they will have something to do or someone to talk to. One word of caution however don’t start letting your friends ogle over hers make it clear to them this is not an attempt to fix anyone up. If she agrees to this make sure you have items both sets of friends will enjoy snacking on and drinking. Cans of Beer and chips are not usually the ladies first choice. This might also get your partner to take a little more interest in sporting events if they don’t already. By making it more of a social event you might hear them saying “When is the next game?”

Dates don't always mean you will be alone!

When you get a chance to go on a date with your partner you need to think about it a little before you head out. First of all are you wanting to be alone during the date. If you are want to only focus on each other then you need to avoid places that you might run into people you know. For instance if you choose to go bowling you might run into some friends there and end up spending your date with several people. If you want to be alone then pick places that will let you be away from others. Places such as restaurants where you get your own table and people just can't walk up to you at any point and time, plus they will have their own table to enjoy. Once you have made your decision as to which type of date you want you will be better prepared for the evening. If you decide to go someplace where the public frequents be prepared to run into someone you know. If this does happen then don't shy away from the other people, you don't want to look like snobs. The other night I was at our local bowling center and a young couple came in to get an alley and several of their friends came running up asking them to come bowl with them. The young lady said no lets get our own lane, and while everyone knew they were on a date, it still seemed like a snub to the others. So if you want to be alone on our date go someone place where you can be alone, but don't hold it against your friends if you go to a place that several people frequent it's just not fair to either of you.

You know that Annoying friend....

No matter who you are you have an annoying friend. That is common knowledge but how do you put up with your partners annoying friend? Do you just not be around with they come over or you make faces every time they open their mouth. Knowing that this person is a friend of your partner locks you in a little. Number one never tell you partner they have to stop hanging around said friend. The exceptions are it he or she is hitting on you, then you need to tell your partner. If the fact is they are just annoying, then you have to have a little tolerance. Try to get to know them a little better, a lot of annoying people are that way because they don't know how to act in front of you. Understand this is part of your partner, his or her choice of friends is part of their make up. Since you care about your partner, you need to be the bigger person. Chances are that once this person sees that you are not going to take their friend away they will calm down and most likely stop being so annoying.

Think about your friends I am sure if you look closely at their actions you might see the same thing in one of them. Understand that a protection device is all this annoyance is. Make the effort to reassure the friend that you are both going to be part of their life and you should work together. Use their help to throw a surprise birthday party or pick them out something for Christmas. Friends can add a lot of insight into your partner. So look past their annoying features and look for something good in them. Don't ignore them make them feel as if they are part of your relationship.

Make your partner one of your buddies.

Can you make your partner one of your buddies? You sure can. The first thing you have to do is not act differently when you are with your buddies, if your partner is there. Don't spend all the time with your partner, and talk to your buddies as if they were one of them. All of you go to a ballgame or out for drinks. You can build a special bond with your special someone if you include them in events like this. You partner will feel as if you trust them to hang out with your friends and that you are not embarrassed by this. Sure there are times when you need to be away from each other and you have to set those boundaries. Say for instance a group of women are going on their annual Christmas shopping spree. Bringing your partner along on a tradition you have would be not a good idea. Vice versa if the man and his friends go on a fishing trip once a year, a partner would most likely chance the trip for the people involved. So set these boundaries and be considerate of your partners feelings in these matters. Going to a ballgame or talking in a show are great opportunities to get all the people you care about involved. Have cookouts and invite them over for drinks. Maybe with a little work you can integrate all your friends and have great get together with them. Just know where to draw the line and don't step on any toes.

Loving the 4th

The 4th of July is a great time for us Americans to pay tribute to our country. It is also a great day for a couple. So invite all your friends over and have a great cookout. Have everyone bring some fireworks to light off that night, if you don't have plans to go to the local fireworks show. Take turns being the host or hostess, one of you doesn't want to be stuck doing all the work so you need to share it. One of you cook and the other makes sure all the quests get served. Finally when it is time for you fireworks show, make sure to seek each other out and enjoy the fireworks together. After all the two of you invited all these people over to share this day with make sure they know it is a team effort between the two of you. Be leaders in the relationship category also and kiss in front of everyone, show them it is okay to be happy and in love.

Stress got you down ..Get out some old pictures.

Is your partner stressed? Are they having a terrible day at work or traffic got them ready to strangle someone. We all feel like this from time to time. When you or your partner are feeling the weight for stress I suggest getting out some of your old photos. Get the ones of the two of you on vacation or on your honeymoon. They can be pictures of your children romping through the woods, or holiday gatherings. The only stipulation is that the events in the pictures were relatively stress free. Remember the time you spend together when you were dating, and the only thing that meant anything was the two of you. Do you have pictures of that time in your life well bring them out if you do. Remember the funny time when your cares where not even present and bring out pictures of that. You might have to do a little digging in the basement or attic but you know that those images are there.

Help your partner recover from their stress. Take them back to a place ,with the use of old photos, that will sooth their inner beast.

We cannot relive the past but we can remember it!

Go Test Driving. (Click here to see how to properly test drive a car)

Want a cheap form of entertainment? Go test drive cars with your partner! Yeah just go out and test drive some cars. It doesn't matter if you are serious about buying or not. Most places, at least here in Indiana, will let you drive any car on the lot with just a copy of your drivers licence. So if you don't have any money this is a great activity and a way to impress your friends. After you get out in the car make sure to drive by your friends houses. This will make them think you have purchased a new car. Make sure to roll down the window with he sticker on it. Wave and honk as you slowly curse by. Do this is several different models and you will defiantly get them thinking. Just always make sure to return the car.