5 Reasons Sex Can Be Super Exciting After Midlife

Sex After Mid-Life

5 Reasons It Can Be Super Exciting and Hot!

American culture teaches us to believe that we are only sexy in our 20s, 30s and maybe – if you are lucky, 40s.  We are taught that having an active and exciting sex life is something that we will no longer have once we hit middle age and beyond.  Well, screw that (pun intended)! 

I am going to share with you 5 reasons why sex after middle age can be even hotter, sexier, spicier, and more exciting than when you were younger.  Yes, sometimes there are medical conditions that can affect your sex life, but you can seek help for those.  You can find natural methods to assist with physical conditions as well as finding assistance within in western medicine.  It can be freaking amazing and here’s why. 

1.    Experience!  - Okay, you have gone through your teens and 20s trying to figure out what the heck all the fuss was about.  Hopefully, you enjoyed a lot of wonderful lovemaking during those years and had a loving committed partner for part (if not most) of that time.  Then, you moved into your 30s and 40s and hopefully, still had wonderful sex around having kids and a career.  Well, guess what?  All these years gave you a lot of experience.  You had the opportunity to figure out what you do and don’t like when it comes to gettin’ busy.  Boy, oh boy, that can come in handy now!

2.    No Kiddos! – Most likely, if you had children, they are grown or at least not little anymore.  So, now you don’t have to worry about little ones bursting into your bedroom and there is a very good chance that you can get back to making love in any room in the house.  Plus, you aren’t as apt to be stressed and worn out due to running them to this practice and that event and trying to help get their homework done.  Yay!  Stress level has dropped!

3.    More Time!  - By now you are hopefully more established in your career and don’t need to spend so many hours working.  As mentioned above, you aren’t as likely to be running kids everywhere.  There is time for the two of you again.  Time to date (whether or not you are already in a relationship or looking for a new one).  The more time you spend together the more likely you are to bond on a deeper level and then….yep – rip each other’s clothes off and spend some naked time together!

4.    Extra Money! – In those earlier years, your finances may have been a bit tighter.  Now you are, hopefully, better off financially and have more disposable income to spend on dates, romantic excursions, clothes/shoes that make you feel sexy, and even more adult toys/lubes.  *Ah, reflect back to “experience”: you know what you like or you are more willing to find out now – so, spend some money on high quality sex toys and enjoy hotter, new, different, intimate play with your lover.

5.    Sexy & Healthy! – The more pleasurable sex (particularly in a committed relationship) you enjoy the more oxytocin that is released into the body.  This is the “feel good” hormone.  It eases pain and just makes you happier in general.  And, even more exciting is the fact that as oxytocin is released in the body more oxytocin receptors are created!  Woo Hoo!  That means the more sex you have the better and better you can feel.  Of course, on top of all that is the fact that making love is a spiritual connection even if you never intend for it to be.  Therefore, not only does your physical body become healthier and happier, but so does your soul.  How can you beat that?

So, for those who have told you that having a great sex life past middle age is practically hopeless, you now have five reasons why they are wrong.  Experience!  No kiddos!  More time!  Extra money!  Sexy & healthy – physically and spiritually!  We typically live so much longer nowadays.  Take the time to enjoy this second half of your life and fill it with playful experiences – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  Honor your life and your sweetie’s by engaging in more powerful, playful passion.

Janelle Alex, Ph.D. © 2013  

Co-Founder of Sexy Challenges

www.sexychallenges.com

Get busy. Get spiritual. Laugh your ass off!

Independence Day

Independence Day stands for a lot of things here in the United States and our freedom is the most important. America was build on the fact that we can do what we want and feel comfortable expressing ourselves. So I want to start today by thanking all the people through out our history that made this happen. I enjoy being able to blog and not worry that someone is going to come up and say to me you that I can't do what I enjoy.

Relationship independence is also something you need to have in your life. Do you have things that you enjoy doing outside of your relationship? Maybe it is hanging with your friends or having some alone time. Either way make sure to find time for you to have some independence. Use it to make your relationship stronger, so that you have things to talk about later in the day. Don't use it as a time to break your commitment with you partner or to do things that might jeopardise your relationship. Go golfing with you buddies but when they start being obnoxious towards the opposite sex, don't join in. Have fun but remember you have someone at home that you love very much.

Too Tired For Your Partner?

I see it so many times -- people are stretched so thin.  They volunteer for everything and have nothing left for the people they love - especially their partners.

If you are too tired to enjoy your relationship when you and your partner have time to be together, then it is time you reevaluate what you are doing. Do you volunteer for the PTO or coach every thing under the sun?  Do you play softball all summer long or have to be involved in every fundraiser in the community? Do you find yourself telling your partner that you are too tired to stay up with him/her during the evening or that you just need to relax and chill during your time together?  If this happens time and again, you seriously need to view this from your partner's perspective.

 How do you think your partner feels if he/she asks you to watch a movie with him/her and you tell him/her you just need some sleep.   Yet, the three nights before you were out raising funds for the humane society, playing a softball game, and attending a committee meeting.  What about passing on a night of intimacy because you have to get up early the next morning to play golf with your friends?These are the type of events that can really hurt a relationship.  Nothing is wrong with doing any of these things, but when you can't make time for your relationship because of them you are not only affecting your partner, but your relationship as a whole.

I am assuming that the two of you are together because you love each other.  With that bond comes the respect that you owe to each other.  Do some planning and figure out the best times for the two of you and then don't let things get in the way of your love.  If you are repeatedly too tired to be with your partner, what you are really saying to him/her is, "Our relationship comes after all these other things I am doing."  Don't be that person.  Put stock in your relationship and move it up on your priority list.  You will be amazed at the difference this can make.