Avoid the Excuse trap.

Excuses are our way out of things, they give us justifiable reasons not to do things. However some times we go to the excuse mill way to many times. Instead of stepping up we find an excuse to help us avoid the task. We can easily fall into the excuse trap and it is ever so true in a relationship. When we are dating we would use excuses to call the person we couldn't get off our minds. As our relationship progresses we use them to avoid things we don't want to deal with. Next time your partner asks you to do something, make it a point to avoid the excuses and say yes. They might ask you if you want to go out for the evening, and if they do don't recoil and think of why you don't want to. Think about the reasons to say yes. Life can pass us by pretty quickly and if you are constantly putting things off soon you will find yourself regretting all the things you made excuses for. So, take that hand in hand walk, go see that movie, take showers together, and make love into the late hours. This way when the day is done and you look back you won't be saying I wish I would have done that!!!!

Our Stress

Once you become a couple you have to share almost everything. Stress is one of these things that has to be shared. No matter whose has the stress it creeps into both of your lives. When one partner is stressed the other will surely feel the effects of this stress. The other partner might be grouchy or upset, or they might with drawl totally form the relationship for a while. The best method to combat this is take the stress on head first. Dive into the problem that is effecting your partner and see if you can help with a solution or just be an open ear to listen. Sometimes just getting the stress out in the open is enough for your partner to start feeling less stressed. Sometimes their stress demands attraction, don't try to avoid the stress that only makes it worse on both of you. Try to come to a solution and work around it the best you can. Once the stress passes you partner will be so greatfull to you that they might treat you a little special for putting up with their stress problems. If you think you will never have stress in your relationship you are in for a big surprise. No matter how comfortable you are something somewhere, some time will bring the ugly stress monster into your life.

Happy Light

If you live in a climate what has a cold harsh winter, the cabin fever can sit in pretty bad during these months. Not being able to be outside much or get the sun light that warms us can be a real downer for not only us but our relationship also. This is where you need to take action and fight the blues of winter. The obvious thing to do is to hop a plane and take a vacation to a warm exotic place. Somewhere that you can drink fruity drinks and make love all night. Now if your budget will not allow you to do this you need to start thinking of other things to do. First thing is whenever the sun is out make sure to open the curtains and let all the light in you can to your house. When the temperature warms up even slightly take a short walk outside to get that brisk air into your lungs. When all these things fail you then you need to start looking for a happy light. I have put the web address of a great happy light in the title of this post so all you have to do is click on the title and you will be whisked off to the happy light store. There are many other versions of this type of device that are less expensive. I personally don't get the winter blahs but the people that I have talked say the light definitely helps with these blahs. Sit in front of you light and close your eyes and feel the light reacting to your skin, feel it absorb into you and then after a few days of this your overall mood should start to come around. Granted this is no substitute for the sun but it might just help you avoid the cabin fever that usually happens around this time of year.

Are you leaving yourself to many exits to avoid intimacy?

Exits are basically ways to escape or leave things. Are you using any exits to avoid intimacy in your relationship? Think about it do you avoid intimacy in your relationship and if so what is your choice of exits. Things such as television, or sickness are two of the common ones. We have all heard the old line "Not tonight dear, I have a headache" or we get so involved in a show that we have to watch it several times a night until we are to tired. Sports are another big exit people use to get away from intimacy in a relationship. Personally I don't understand why you would want to be in a relationship and avoid intimacy. Exits can be things that are important also like you kids, do you know anyone that puts their children ahead of everything else and then doesn't have time to enjoy things they want to do. I agree that your children are important but they need to understand that relationships are important and you are the only one that can show them that. Some exits are harmful to the person or other persons in a relationship. Alcohol and drugs are the main exits people use to escape from the pressure of being in a relationship. Right now I want you to think about exits you use in your relationship, they can be things you use to avoid intimacy or even just things you use to avoid areas of your relationship such as parenting or friendship. Relationship are not easy for everyone and the are constantly requiring work, so instead of shying away with the use of exits why not buck up and put the effort into building a strong relationship?

Make love through the new year.

Most people make sure they are near their partner at midnight on New Years Eve to give them a great big kiss. Why not take it a step or two farther and make love until the New Year arrives. Yes, you heard me right ring in the new year with sex. Get the two of you a hotel room or even at your own home. Spend the evening dinning and maybe have a few drinks, if you don't have to drive anywhere, and then just enjoy each others company until it gets closer to the midnight hour. At this point you have to be the judge as to how long your sex will last you don't want to finish before midnight. Heck you can even purchase some New Years Eve party hats and confetti to throw and midnight. How many people can say the made love from one year to the next. Sounds fun doesn't it. Many people are avoiding the crowded places this year for New Years Eve so why not have you own little party for two this New Years Eve.