Texting Can Hurt Your Relationship

"In these modern times, it has become easier and easier to tune in to the television, your computer, your phone, or your iPad.  This means you are tuning out from your sweetheart and your intimate relationship.  It may not seem so at first, but eventually being turned on by your lover will wane and become secondary to today's media and digital gadgets and other priorities."

- Janelle and Rob Alex 

via Loving and Lasting: How to Stay Tuned In and Turned On In Your Marriage

*You can fix this though...

Pick up a copy of Loving and Lasting

Don't be the old couple watching television in matching recliners.

This image haunts me to this day, the image of older people in their matching recliners wasting away the rest of their lives watching television. Don't fall victim to this trap. As we age it is true we can't do as much as we can when we were younger. However that doesn't have to be a death sentence to sit mindlessly watching television for the rest of our lives. As a couple it is your position to spur each other on and not get trapped in that recliner of death. Turn the television off and read a book, that way at least you are stimulating your mind, now a days you can even use a reading device such as the Amazon kindle so that you don't have stacks of books laying around. Make sure you exercise your body, also. Take walks, do simple exercises if you are unable to do others. Make the commitment to each other to not let the sedimentary lifestyle set in on either of you. Think of things to do go out and watch your kids or grandchildren play sports, soak up some sun, and enjoy all of your life you can. No one ever remembers how many episodes of Dancing with the stars you watched during your life, but they do remember how much life you had in you, so live it up.

Never to old!

Don't make this your coffin!

I hear this a lot when couples talk about doing things. "I'm too old for that" and frankly I just don't buy it. Our bodies are made to be pushed and used and when we start deciding that we can't use them any more we become sediment. We gradually start to sink down into that chair in front of the television and soon find our self uncomfortable any time we are not there. Well my friends I am here to tell you to get your butt and your partners butt up and get out and enjoy your life. Don't get me wrong if your 80 years old I don't think that playing a game of tackle football is in your best interest. However at 80 the two of you can still get out and walk and sight see. At 80 you can still ride a bike, go fishing, or any number of activities that don't involve the television. You body will respond to the way you let it and if you want it to be worn out and broken down just let it sit around doing nothing. Have you ever had a car that hasn't been drove in a few years it doesn't run very well does it well that is same thing your body does. Grab your partner and get out and explore, play golf, ride bikes, dance, and life your life don't watch it from your chair! Motivate each other and you might just be able to get rid of the chairs all together.

Reading can it hurt?

Can reading hurt your relationship? Reading is a wonderful activity and is a great alternative to watching countless hours of television. However reading can detract from your relationship just as television can. If one of the other of you become more into the reading then your relationship. I am amazed at the amount of romance stories I see some people have. Walls and walls of romantic novels, what does that tell you? Someone is not getting enough romance in their life and they are getting in through the use of these books. My suggestion to them would be to start living the romance and stop thinking that it will be like the authors put it in their books. Your partner might not have the perfect body or be able to pick you up and carry you to the bedroom. If your partner is not receptive to the romance then you need to be more creative in your pursuits. Reading a book to get your romance is not the way it was intended. These romance novels are produced to sale a lot of copies which means there are loads of lonely people out their not getting the attraction that they need. Sure an occasional romance novel isn't harmful it could actually maybe getting you a little excited and ready for your own lover. However if you are thinking that things have to happen like they do in the books your are going to be disappointed. Read a book from time to time but don't forget that the person sitting in the other room can be your knight in shinning armor, just maybe with the armor.

Are you leaving yourself to many exits to avoid intimacy?

Exits are basically ways to escape or leave things. Are you using any exits to avoid intimacy in your relationship? Think about it do you avoid intimacy in your relationship and if so what is your choice of exits. Things such as television, or sickness are two of the common ones. We have all heard the old line "Not tonight dear, I have a headache" or we get so involved in a show that we have to watch it several times a night until we are to tired. Sports are another big exit people use to get away from intimacy in a relationship. Personally I don't understand why you would want to be in a relationship and avoid intimacy. Exits can be things that are important also like you kids, do you know anyone that puts their children ahead of everything else and then doesn't have time to enjoy things they want to do. I agree that your children are important but they need to understand that relationships are important and you are the only one that can show them that. Some exits are harmful to the person or other persons in a relationship. Alcohol and drugs are the main exits people use to escape from the pressure of being in a relationship. Right now I want you to think about exits you use in your relationship, they can be things you use to avoid intimacy or even just things you use to avoid areas of your relationship such as parenting or friendship. Relationship are not easy for everyone and the are constantly requiring work, so instead of shying away with the use of exits why not buck up and put the effort into building a strong relationship?

PIck a show and get into it together.

We all know that dating is important to us but have you ever set a date to watch a certain show each week? Try to find a show that you both enjoy and make a date to sit together and watch it each and every week. Any show will work from a version of CSI to house hunters on HGTV. Maybe it might be a sport for the two of you, say for instance you both a Red Sox fans then watching a game could be your forte. The idea of this is to get you in a regular routine of sitting down with each other with a common goal in mind. Not to mention this will bring you closer the more you get into the show. You might even find yourself discussing what might happen next in the show your conversing over the major issues of the show. As a couple you need to find things that you can do together as well as apart. Pick your shows and make it a date by adding snacks or drinks if you like and then snuggle down in your big chair and relax and watch together.