Aloneness Quote

Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.
Helen Keller 



Photo credit: http://m3-k3.deviantart.com/art/VR-2gether-Whenevr-IM-Alone-15-162786388

Are you a Psychic? Sometimes your relationship will call for you to be one.

Have you ever had one of those days when you know something is not quite right with your partner. Maybe they are down in the dumps or just kinda shying away from everything. This is when you need to become a psychic. Most likely they are not going to come out and say what is bothering them, although that would make it much easier. Now is when you need to feel what they need. Do the need to be alone, do they need affection, could they use a good roll in the hay, everyone is different and in the situation might call for a different tactic. Last time they were in this state they might have wanted to be left alone, yet this time they might need a shoulder to cry on. The last thing you want to do is to ignore the situation. Acting like nothing is wrong is a sure way to say that you don't care. Even if they want to be alone the fact that you noticed they were upset is a good feeling. You will never be able to always do the right thing but you have to make the attempt. The better you know your partner the more psychic you will become and better able to call out which type of mood they are in.

Have your own special place.

Being a couple it is important to have a space all to yourselves. Sure you bedroom is a great start but that is what everyone has. What I am talking about is a place the two of you can go to talk and just be together with not much distraction. We use our deck in the summer time, sitting out late at night after the kids are asleep, maybe have a glass of wine or a drink. The magical part of this is it gives us a chance to talk just between the two of use. No one else enters this little sanctuary of ours. We might snuggle up under blankets or touch feet on a warm summer night. The conversation is the great part we try to stay away from the normal everyday troubles and let our minds wander. Getting into deep conversations. Find your place to do this with you partner, it might be your deck or a park somewhere, you could even just take a walk together. This breeds your relationship making it stronger and stronger. As busy as our lives get we always need to make sure to time for each other, intimately and intellectually.

Take advantage of time apart.

There are times when you and your partner will have to spend some nights apart. Be it work, children commitments, or just functions they are attending you will have to break apart. This might not be hard for some couples. However, some people have trouble sleeping when their partner is not in bed with them, or they seem lost and don't know what to do for sure. If you are one of these people that your life revolves around your relationship then you need to prepare for nights apart. Save things you need to get done for you times apart, rent movies you have wanted to watch that your partner might not enjoy, catch up with some old friends, anything you can think of to keep your mind off the time. By doing this you will soon find that the time has passed and you are ready for bed. Another thing you might do is stay up later than normal so that you are really tired when you got to bed. This way you don't lay in bed and think about that special person that is not beside you. Remember the time will pass and use it to your advantage. Get things done so that you have time with your partner when they return. Clean the house if you have nothing else to do that will occupy a lot of time.

Spend alone time together.

This might sound like the silliest thing ever. However you can be alone with someone in the same room. Reading together is one of those things you can do together but be totally apart in your time. Just being in the same room will make you feel like your relationship has grown and is improving. One thing you have to do to make this successful is to keep to yourself. Be together but don't interrupt each other by asking questions or speaking to your partner. Giving them solitude while you are with them takes a lot of self control. However to spend a couple of hours together in the same room while enjoying something on your own brings you closer to understanding each other. Try this exercise for the two of you set a timer for an hour get a book and read together and when you get really good you will be able to touch your partners foot or hand and still not invade there mind space. Being able to be apart while you are together is a challenge but a great wonderful way for a couple to have their space and love you too.

Men be healthy and smile a lot.

I just read and interesting stat from The Journal of the American Medical Association that states to lower the risk of prostate cancer men should ejaculate 21 times or more a month. Wow, that is an amazing number of times in most months you would have to ejaculate every 1.3 days. I am sure that most of you guys out there will not approach your partner and suggest that you have sex 21 times a month. It would be great if that would work but it sounds like their might be some solo work involved in this health improvement. Gentlemen you might think this is over the top but if you have known anyone that has had prostrate troubles you might be a little wiser. For starters it feels good to ejaculate and it can be fun alone or with a partner so what is the problem. After all now it is a matter of health.

Prostate health is important and if you have issues with the traditional means of stimulating the prostate gland, there is a procedure called milking the prostate that requires rear entry but achieves the same results.

Make love through the new year.

Most people make sure they are near their partner at midnight on New Years Eve to give them a great big kiss. Why not take it a step or two farther and make love until the New Year arrives. Yes, you heard me right ring in the new year with sex. Get the two of you a hotel room or even at your own home. Spend the evening dinning and maybe have a few drinks, if you don't have to drive anywhere, and then just enjoy each others company until it gets closer to the midnight hour. At this point you have to be the judge as to how long your sex will last you don't want to finish before midnight. Heck you can even purchase some New Years Eve party hats and confetti to throw and midnight. How many people can say the made love from one year to the next. Sounds fun doesn't it. Many people are avoiding the crowded places this year for New Years Eve so why not have you own little party for two this New Years Eve.

Dates don't always mean you will be alone!

When you get a chance to go on a date with your partner you need to think about it a little before you head out. First of all are you wanting to be alone during the date. If you are want to only focus on each other then you need to avoid places that you might run into people you know. For instance if you choose to go bowling you might run into some friends there and end up spending your date with several people. If you want to be alone then pick places that will let you be away from others. Places such as restaurants where you get your own table and people just can't walk up to you at any point and time, plus they will have their own table to enjoy. Once you have made your decision as to which type of date you want you will be better prepared for the evening. If you decide to go someplace where the public frequents be prepared to run into someone you know. If this does happen then don't shy away from the other people, you don't want to look like snobs. The other night I was at our local bowling center and a young couple came in to get an alley and several of their friends came running up asking them to come bowl with them. The young lady said no lets get our own lane, and while everyone knew they were on a date, it still seemed like a snub to the others. So if you want to be alone on our date go someone place where you can be alone, but don't hold it against your friends if you go to a place that several people frequent it's just not fair to either of you.

Time Away

You know sometimes we all just need some time away. I think this is a good thing in a relationship. It reminds you of the longing you had for each other when you relationship was new. You remember the days hoping the other person would call you for a date. Well when we are apart we need to remember those feeling. Today it is even easier to stay in touch with cell phones and email. So when your a couple you really are never disconnected.

Going to work helps with the separation from time to time. It's nice to come home to your partner when you haven't seen them all day. You usually have things to talk about or concerns that arose during your day. It's a chance for you two to get reconnected on a daily basis. My parents worked together for 20 plus years and when they were off they had nothing to talk about. So I think it is important for a relationship to have time apart.

Now I don't think long absences are necessarily good for a relationship when they are frequent. I do, however, think they are good every once in a while. They bring back those feelings that you really miss your partner. When you know they will be home at five you don't really get the same feeling. Make note of how you feel when your partner returns home from an extended period of time. I bet your heart is racing and you just can't wait to get them in your arms.

Here is an exercise to try. Spend the day apart, totally. No calls, no emails, go for a day away with your friends or just by yourself. Then make dinner plans for the two of you that evening. I want you to not even see each other until dinner time. It will be like a date you had when you were dating. You just might remember how special that person setting across the table from you is. That is if you have forgotten.