Fights are like weeds in your garden!

Farmers can grow the most perfect garden in the world but occasionally a few weeds will pop up. This is the same with fights in your relationship, no matter how strong your relationship is from time to time a fight will break out. Usually these will take the form of an argument and they can be short lived or long and drawn out, that is up to the individuals. If you go into a relationship with the delusion of never having a fight then you are not very realistic. Fights sometimes help clear the air and get things out in the open. There are some important things you need to know when a fight does accrue. First and for most stay away from personal attacks, don't just throw things out in the middle of an argument that don't pertain to the situation. Things like your fat, or stupid or both fat and stupid are not important and will really harm your relationship down the road. Stick with the subject and focus on that. Second, don't let the fight consume you so that you break down the lines of communication, not speaking to each other is the worst type of fight because no resolution will ever be made. If you need time to get away from the situation take a little but make sure to let your partner know how long you will be gone. Lastly and this is a hard one, try to wait for make up sex until the day after you make up. You don't want to associate great sex with a fight and you don't want to fall into that trap of, "we need to fight to have great sex" Set your boundaries and agree at a time when you are not fighting that disagreements will not ruin your relationship, set up a way to discuss the issues in a calm manner so that both partners get a say in the outcome. With a little work your fights can become little more then heated debates.

Artwork above titled Disagreement between Sum of all Parts by Jeff Tanger

Chap stick could save your relationship!

The time is here for bitter winter weather and if you are not prepared it can greatly effect your love life. As the wind whips across your lips it can make them dry and chapped. Chapped lips make for lousy kissing and without kissing passion seems to take a back seat. Have you ever heard any one say, "Oh your chapped lips are so sexy" Of coarse not it is the exact opposite. Protection is a must so you need to stock up on Chapstick and lip balm for those days when you must be out in the cold and windy conditions. Make it a point to carry a tube around with you at all times so that you don't have to search for one. With that said always keep a spare around because these little tubes of sex life saving product seem to get misplaced quite often. This post might seem a little silly right now but you will be thanking me the next time you start making out and your partner enjoys your lips, instead of complains about them.

Dates don't always mean you will be alone!

When you get a chance to go on a date with your partner you need to think about it a little before you head out. First of all are you wanting to be alone during the date. If you are want to only focus on each other then you need to avoid places that you might run into people you know. For instance if you choose to go bowling you might run into some friends there and end up spending your date with several people. If you want to be alone then pick places that will let you be away from others. Places such as restaurants where you get your own table and people just can't walk up to you at any point and time, plus they will have their own table to enjoy. Once you have made your decision as to which type of date you want you will be better prepared for the evening. If you decide to go someplace where the public frequents be prepared to run into someone you know. If this does happen then don't shy away from the other people, you don't want to look like snobs. The other night I was at our local bowling center and a young couple came in to get an alley and several of their friends came running up asking them to come bowl with them. The young lady said no lets get our own lane, and while everyone knew they were on a date, it still seemed like a snub to the others. So if you want to be alone on our date go someone place where you can be alone, but don't hold it against your friends if you go to a place that several people frequent it's just not fair to either of you.

Sexual Self Image

One of the most common ares of concern when dealing with sexual difficulties is a poor sexual self image. Our minds are bombarded with images of perfect bodied individuals have sex on the television or big screen. We see people with no body fat, muscles that bulge, and boobs that are firm and perfect. Now let us examine that to start with most of these people have either had surgery to enhance their body image or have use a substance like steroids to get the look they desire. What does that tell you? It says they had a poor body image and took steps in their mind to correct it. We all know the effects of these cosmetic improvements and it usually come back to haunt them. Now lets look inward to ourselves. For starters we are all beautiful, who says what is perfect and how we should look? WE DO!!! For our sexual self image I hear so much of how people have to have the light off to have sex and that they don't want their partner of all people to see them naked? This is crazy, the one person that will except you as you are is your partner. They have made a commitment to you and they love you, so share yourself with them. Poor sexual self image can stem from many different places, childhood memories, early development periods in your life, and maybe even earlier relationships. Once you find someone you truly love you need to try to put those feelings behind you. Do you actually think that your partner thinks your genitals are ugly? I am sure you partner thinks they are one of the most beautiful things on earth. My advice to you is to start using a little light in your bedroom, candles work great, they will allow your partner to see you beautiful body without being in the glaring light of electricity, plus it is ten times more romantic. Let her/him make a big deal about your body, let them tell you how beautiful you are, and really listen to this. Most people feel that the partner is just saying this, but think about it. They are in the relationship for the long haul they have nothing to gain by lying to you??? I understand that somewhere along the lines of your life that someone has but the idea into your head that you are not sexually beautiful, well I am hear to tell you they were wrong. Be beautiful, handsome, sexy, and alive.