Let you partner know you are talking good about them.

You won't believe what my husband did....

We all are curious about how are partner talks about us when they are not around us. We wonder to they bash us and only tell their friends about the not so good things we do. Could be possible that they are speaking like we are a saint? There is no way to tell for sure unless you overhear a conversation and hard as it is that is eavesdropping and isn't right. This is where we can tell our partner when we talk good about them. Let them know that you told your girlfriends how romantic they are or when you tell the guys how you have the best partner in the world. Tell them specifics like, "The other day the girls went nuts when I showed them the note you left me when you went on your trip" or "All the guys are so jealous of me because I told them about you sitting up that special trip to the ballpark for me" We so often have an vision of your partner belittling us because that is what we see on television. Another good reason to pitch the television. The programs and talk shows are full of people talking about the terrible things their lovers do. Maybe we should start a show called "How great my lover is" that lets people talk about the good in their relationship. No fights just proud partners expressing how wonderful their partner is. Now I might watch that show to pick up some extra wonderful things to do. Go a step farther and ask you friends when they are bashing their mate, "Does you partner do anything that pleases you?" Get them searching their mind for positive things and you might just chance a persons whole day.

Watch older couples

Want to really know what makes relationships work? Then you need to go to someone who has been through a long term relationship. Think of family members that have been married or in a relationship for a very long time. Talk to them, pick their brains, you might get more information then you ever dreamed of. Sure times have changed and they might not have dealt with texting and facebook, but I am sure they had some challenges in their relationships. I am sure at some point they have had money issues, or problems with children, just to mention of few things that can cause stress in a relationship. They can tell you how the managed to make it through the tough times and if nothing else they will show you that it will pass.

Now when you are looking for these couples make sure you look for the ones that seem happy together. Don't ask a couple for help that seem to be leading two different lives. Watch for the ones that still hold hands or kiss. A great way to tell is if they still tell each other they love one another in front of people. Relatives might not be the best examples but you can find friends or just ask a happy older couple on the street what their secret is. I am sure they would be glad to pass it along to you and your partner.

Kiss and Tell

Society dictates that we are supposed to keep our love lives to ourselves. I believe that to be pretty much true with some exceptions. Some of those might be talking to a professional to get advice or help keeping your relationship alive. Medical reasons also might be a reason that you explain your current state of intimacy. I'm not talking about things that are causing your relationship troubles. Kiss and tell to me is more about communication then blabbing to your best friend about how great or inadequate your lover performs.

Kiss and tell is between the two of you. If you don't do this now, you should start as soon as possible. All it involves it telling your partner what you like and the things you can do without. I am always quick to tell my partner when something feels good, whether we are in the middle of sexual activities or if we are just out somewhere alone or in a group. You have to open up to your partner and share your feelings. I know that I want to make my special someone feel the best they can. To do that I need input and I don't mean hints, I mean tell me damn it. If I reach down and hold your hand during a scary movie and you enjoy that tell me. If I squeeze your bottom at the family reunion and you feel uncomfortable with that let me know, don't get mad - just explain it to me. When we are in the middle of sex and I am doing something great for heaven’s sakes tell me or at least say yes yes YES.

It sounds so simple I know, but some people really have a hard time telling others what they want in a relationship. I have some suggestions to help these people, kiss and tell. For starters work out some sort of signal to let the other person know your feelings. In the bedroom if you are enjoying what your partner is doing then work out a signal for that, like squeezing his/her shoulders or running your fingers through his/her hair. This trigger gets you over that communication hump by avoiding having to say anything. Another way to avoid speaking about your sexual needs is to right them down for the other person to read when you are not around. Leave him/her a card that says I really loved it last night when you... you can even email him/her if no one else as access to his/her email. If you have a toy or specific item you would like to try in bed then order it and have it sent to your partner. Believe me he/she will get the hint.

This kiss and tell works both ways so don't ignore your partner when he/she tells you he/she likes something you do. Take it as a compliment. Don't think of it as shameful. Passion between two people is very special and at least nowadays we are beginning to get that more out in the open. It is proven that sex helps you live longer and feel better and now at least people are telling us we should enjoy it. Thank goodness we are finally out of the stone age.