How to Last Longer via Sexy Challenge Heartbeats

Many people out there wish their sex could last longer.  This can become a real problem if one of you cannot last long enough for the other one to reach that point of pleasure.   While lasting longer is usually something men need to focus on it can sometimes be something that both partners need to focus upon.  Join us as we give you some suggestions and tips on how to make your lovemaking last longer.  We would love tackle your questions. So, if you have any, send them to sexychallenges@gmail.com.

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15 Minutes to Amazing Tantric Sex

Taking your sex life to a higher level and deeper level simultaneously through Tantric practices begins outside of the sexual act. It really is about fully blending the masculine and feminine within you – your Shiva and Shakti as well as blending your soul with your lover’s. When you can come together and no longer are consciously aware of where you end and your lover begins you can experience Mahamudra or a total blending with the Universe as a whole. Yes, you will still be able to tell your physical bodies apart from one another, but the sensation of melding your soul with your lover’s soul and even on a Universal level in which you sense a blending with All is an orgasmic experience that is like no other and it cannot be described in human language. But, how can you move towards the potentiality of such levels of sensuality, sexuality and orgasmic experience?

It doesn’t have to take vast amounts of sexual experience or a deep spiritual practice to open the doors to these new levels. Such things can be beneficial, but are not absolutely necessary. We are about to share with you a few things you can do that will take no more than 15 minutes – unless, of course, you choose to spend more time on them.

Before we share them, it is vitally important for you to understand that as you go into these exercises, activities, or moments that you have no set goal in mind. Be open to accepting whatever experience you have as the one you are meant to have. It does not need to be like someone else’s. It is your experience. Just as no two of us are identical no two of our experiences should be expected to be identical either. Furthermore, the experience you have on one occasion may be quite different from the experience you have doing the very same activity at a different time or on a different day or in a different place. Do not expect sex, orgasm, climax, or spectacular fireworks. Just remain open to what comes through for you. Do not expect anything of your partner either. Place attention on your lover, but with no expectations. Open your heart and your soul and just be and just allow the moment to just be.

Set Time Aside

The first step is to set 15 minutes aside for the two of you to focus on one another, to practice these following exercises/activities, and to willingly let your guard down. (Remember to focus on yourself during this time, too.)

Create a Safe and Sacred Space

This can be as simple as turning the lights down low or lighting some candles or lighting a fire in the fireplace. You may choose to play music softly in the background (music you both enjoy – with or without lyrics, sounds of nature, tribal beats, etc.). Lay a soft blanket on the floor or join one another in the center of your bed. Surround yourself with only things that support the two of you. Take down any pictures or put away any items that bother you in any way. Remove any clutter from the area.

Yab Yum

One partner will sit cross-­‐legged while the other partner will sit facing him/her.
The second partner will wrap his/her legs around the first partner’s waist. This yab yum position will place you face-­‐to-­‐face and chest-­‐to-­‐chest. If this is uncomfortable for you, adjust it so that it works for you. Perhaps, crossing your legs isn’t comfy or sitting on your lover that way doesn’t work for you. Change it. You can also sit in two chairs facing one another – close enough for your knees to touch or even close enough so that you place your feet in between your lover’s. If you can, wrap your arms around each other. Otherwise, hold hands. Place your foreheads together (the third eye kiss) and just breathe. Remain like this for 3-­‐5 minutes. Simply hold this gentle, quiet space for each other. Notice your lover’s breathing. Notice your own. Pay attention to the way he/she feels as you are touching. Then notice how you feel physically and emotionally. When (if) outside things pop into your head – work, kids, the dog – just acknowledge them and then return your focus to the moment.

Honoring Through Your Kiss

You can remain in the yab yum (or your version) position or you can shift positions. Again, this is about each of you and your experience. Spend the next 3-­‐5 minutes kissing your sweetheart. These kisses do not need to be hot and sexy. They can be gentle and sweet. They don’t have to be open-­‐mouthed or even have to be on the lips though know that the heart is literally connected to the tongue physically as well as spiritually. Take turns kissing one another. Allow your kisses to reflect how you feel about him/her, how you want to treat him/her, and how you feel about and want to treat your relationship overall.

Communication Via Eye Gaze and Touch

While you are either in yab yum or simply facing each other look into your partner’s eyes. We often get so busy that we forget to do this, and I am not even talking about forgetting or overlooking the deep long look, but we can easily just barely make eye contact at all. Looking into your lover’s eyes helps connect the two of you. Sometimes, especially if you haven’t done this for a while, gazing directly into his/her eyes for a couple of minutes can feel like a staring contest. If it makes you uncomfortable, just start out with what works for you. Gaze lovingly into your sweetie’s eyes until you feel the need to look elsewhere. Then shift your gaze, roaming your eyes over his/her body. Take notice of all of him/her – ears, cheeks, lips, nose, hair, shoulders, neck, etc. You can also trail your fingers along as you move your gaze along the body. When you are ready look into the eyes again even if your partner is not looking into your eyes. Eventually, your gaze will draw his/hers back to you. Continue to move through this experience together for 3-­‐5 minutes.

See how easy it can be to move into a different space with your lover? If you can dedicate to trying these activities a couple of times a week (or even just once a week to start), you will begin to notice a transformation in your relationship. This doesn’t have to be complicated, and remember to let your expectations go. Let it be what it is for the two of you.

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. Rob Alex, M.Sc. 
Sexychallenges.com 

Photo credit: fotolia.com

Are U-ON? Universal Orgasm Night on Feb. 14th

You can also pick up a Sexy Challenge created specifically for U-ON!  

Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and iTunes (soon). 

Enjoy a sexy, special time with your lover while helping heal the world. Universal Orgasm Night or U-ON is a special Sexy Challenge that focuses on couples around the world experiencing orgasmic pleasure on the same day. You can find a calendar of the U-ON dates at sexychallenges.com.

Sex is an important part of any long-term relationship. It doesn’t matter if you are heterosexual, homosexual, or bi-sexual. You can adjust Sexy Challenges to fit your desires.

You can rejuvenate your sex life, spice it up or simply take it to a new level. 

And, guess what? You will actually have an opportunity to improve your communication. 

Check out all of the Sexy Challenges on iTunes, visit us at our site http://www.sexychallenges.com and be sure to listen to our Sexy Challenge Heartbeats podcast.

Spicy Subscription's Spice Box Review via Sexy Challenges

We, at SexyChallenges.com, were recently invited by Spicy Subscriptions to try out their new sexy, romantic and very intimate service.  What is it? 

Spicy Subscriptions is a monthly service in which you are discreetly shipped a unique box of romance, intimacy and beauty products.  You will receive a beautifully packaged surprise each and every month.  The box is perfect to keep your happy little items in as you and your lover work your way through the box over the coming month.  Each time you open it you will be welcomed with the romantic touch of pink tissue paper, bright pink and black filler and shiny little ribbons on top (obviously this may be a bit different from month to month).  If you opt for the Premium Spice Box ($20.95/month), you will find 1 intimate toy, 4-8 samples of product, and 1 full-sized product.  If you opt for the Deluxe Spice Box ($34.95/month), you will find everything that the premium box has plus 1 deluxe accessory.

Our Spice Box was delivered on Christmas Eve.  What a fun little Christmas surprise for us.  We set it aside for later that evening – after all we had to fill stockings and “deliver” our kiddos’ presents from Santa before we could open our special delivery from Santa J  But, there was a whole other sense of anticipation throughout our evening.

Finally, we were able to head to bed and unwrap our box to discover what surprises were inside.  We found an intimate toy, a bottle of strawberry flavored body drizzle, a small bottle of cherry flavored lubricant, flavor strips (for those who don’t like the natural taste of the body), and a ton of trial size packages of different lubes.  There was also a little card that described the contents.  This way if you aren’t quite sure what was what or what you are supposed to use something for, you will have a little guide. 

Here is an example of some of the description card:

Dona Kissable Body Drizzle – Dessert is on you when you let your lover paint you with the delicious Kissable Body Drizzle.  This passion fruit flavored body topping is edible and lickable for the ultimate in treats. 

Aloe Cadabra – Peppermint Tingle – Perfect for the Holiday Season!  Aloe Cadabra’s peppermint tingle is tasty and tingly.  Its ingredients are organic based and it provides a cool, refreshing sensation!  We think you’ll love this special treat to go along with your holiday special candle!  **We aren’t sure what they mean in regards to a holiday candle as there was not one in our box.  Maybe there was one in a previous month’s box??

The concept behind Spicy Subscriptions is great!  You can excitedly anticipate your new shipment each month and wonder what sexy surprise will be inside?  This can make for a good number of intimately playful nights throughout the month.  Even if you don’t like some of the things in the box, it can help boost your sexual anticipation.  We didn’t really like the flavor strips that we tried, but even not caring for the chocolate flavor we created an intimate inside joke between us.  And, having those intimate little secrets with your lover is something we always encourage couples to do.  It deepens the emotional bond between the two of you. 

Is a Spice Box something you would like to add to your relationship to heighten your intimate play?  According to the Spicy Subscription website, right now you can save on your first month if you pay for a 4-month subscription or if you choose to go for an annual membership, your first month is free.  Christmas may be over, but Valentine’s Day is around the corner.  Maybe you will decide to give Spicy Subscriptions a try and have a special surprise for your sweetheart this February 14^th.  If you give it a try, we would love to hear your comments here or at thecouplesspot@gmail.com.       

You can also find them on Facebook and Twitter.

Pick up your Sexy Challenges & Intimate Adventures for as little as $.99 on iTunes!

NEW Sexy Challenge - Tainted Love...Share it w/Your Sweetie

The word tainted is typically considered to mean something bad.  Yet, when you and your beloved practice getting tainted it is going to be an amazing and wonderful experience.  This Sexy Challenge will build trust between the two of you and increase your pleasure by leaps and bounds.  You will never look at the word tainted the same way again.

Pick up this new Sexy Challenge on iTunes, Amazon , Barnes & Noble.

Have You Got Your Free Sexy Challenge Yet?

Sexy Challenges offers a wonderful Free issue that will have you uncovering those things that hold you back from having the greatest sex with your partner ever.  

Click here to pick up your copy on iTunes

Are You Listening To Your Heartbeats?

Have you ever been, what you would call too tired for sex?  Well listen in on our podcast Sexy Challenge Heartbeats as we cover that topic and many many others.  

Click here to pick it up on iTunes.

Black Friday - Looks A lot like Looting

The American public has found a way to make a holiday out of shopping and fighting.  It is a Jerry Springer show waiting to happen.  What a stupid idea to put everything on sale on one day so that you have fights over items, people stressed beyond believe, and stores packed so tight you can't even get around.  What a great way to start the holiday season!  If you look at the picture above it looks more like people looting than actually shopping.  This should be a wonderful day to spend with the family not one fighting over a piece of electronics or toys with strangers.  

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hope everyone out there has the best Thanksgiving ever.  

Rob and Janelle - The Couples Spot

Shape Up Your Relationship

The holidays are here!  Isn't it time to figure out what is going on in your relationship?

Maybe it needs a little boost?  Maybe is needs a major overhaul?  

Well, how about taking a step towards figuring some of it out?

Check out The Shape of Your Relationship Virtual Workshop

Does your relationship need a boost?

Don't know what your partner wants?

Feel like your partner doesn't listen?

Want to enhance your sex life?

This workshop gives you a unique and fun way to

*Deepen the bond between you

*Uncover what influences your relationship

*Enhance your sex life

*Discover your uniqueness and your partner's 

*Understand your partner

*Understand YOU

*Decrease arguments

*Get your partner to see through your eyes

*Build your relationship on your foundation

*Open doors of communication

We will work with 7 basic shapes and how they relate to your relationship.  We will also share a bonus shape that combines all 7.  

All participants will receive a packet with the shape worksheets, a copy of one Sexy Challenge, and a copy of one Intimate Adventure.

And.......it is only a $25 investment!!!!  What????  Seriously!!!  That makes it affordable to just about everyone!

And.......attend via phone or computer - no traveling - total privacy - total comfort!  

Click here to Register Now!  

Photo credit © Carlson - Fotolia.com