Checkbook

One of the most common fights couples have is about money. There never seems to be enough money when you are trying to budget for two or a whole household. Yes we have to set boundaries and budgets yet we also have to have a little freedom. My feelings are that you need to have one checkbook that takes care of your household bills, car payments, insurance, etc. That way the both of you can oversee the finances. This checkbook should stay at the house never to leave. If you need to use it for groceries, or outside purposes, get a debit card. Neither partner should carry this checkbook around with them. That is set in stone, both of you know exactly where that checkbook is at all times. You can designate one or both of you to pay the bills as they come in.

Now here is where I side track from most people. I think that both partners should also have either their own checking account or at least a preloaded debit card. Why? you might ask. Because we all have things we would like to purchase that we don't want to have to ask the other partner if it is okay. Set a predetermined amount to deposit in these accounts each pay period and then hands off the others account. This will allow them to save for things they might want to purchase or to buy you presents for anniversaries, birthdays, or other holidays. We use to keep all our money in one pot and it made if very difficult to purchase an anniversary present for my wife. Either I would ask her for a certain amount of money and then I had to answer 20 questions as to why I needed it. If I didn't get approval first the checkbook would show the deed anyway. Then I would be answering questions like "Why did you write a check to Victoria's Secret the other day" Thus my surprises where always blown.

If you decide to do this you cannot judge the other person on what they buy with their budgeted amount. For instance if you partner saves their money and purchases a $250 ipod. You cannot say "We could have used that money to buy this or that" They have made the effort and sacrificed other things to get this item. Make an effort to understand their purchase, usually most people have a reason to buy something. This technique also helps out if one of you is a classic over spender. Now they are limited to only the amount in their checking account, while the other remains off limits to both partners.

Relationships are tough enough but throw in money problems and they become even tougher. This ours, mine and yours technique gives everyone a little variance and a chance to purchase things without getting approval from the relationship committee. Lastly just to add don't make these individual accounts with credit cards that can be a nightmare only use accounts where you deposit money and that is all you can withdraw.

Click on the title line of this post and go to Oprah's website that gives you more information on finances for couples.