Can Sacred Mean Fun????

It's Friday and it is the day that we answer questions from our listeners.   The topic on this show is if you put sacredness into your intimacy can it still be fun.  Join us as we answer this question and show that the word sacred doesn't have to mean stiff.  Fun is an important part of any relationship and part of making it sacred is allowing that fun and laughter to weave it's way into your intimacy.  If you might have a question for us to explore please send it to us at janelle@inwardoasis.com .  Until then keep loving and laughing.

Click here to listen in on Sexy Challenge Heartbeats 

Get a jump on your fireplace now.

For those of you lucky enough to have a fire place inside your house, now is the time to get things ready for those romantic nights spend in front of the fire as the snow flies. Do some initial checking to make sure you fire place is clean and ready to warm up the night. Hire a chimney sweep to get a professional job, they really are not that expensive and will add live and safety to your fire place. Once you know that the fire place is ready it is time to make sure the area around the fireplace is ready. Do you have comfortable chairs to relax in as the you listen to the crackle of the wood. Speaking of wood have you stocked up on it, once the first snow starts falling it makes it a little harder to get the wood and if you pay for it, it will be more expensive once the snow hits. Make sure you have plenty of tables around for sitting drinks or books or anything else you might need as the fire warms you up. Stock up on your favorite relaxing drink and make sure you have the proper tools to work with the fire. All this work might seem a bit much right now but think of it this way when your partner drops their robe to reveal a sexy little nighty the last think you want to worry about is that it is getting cold in the room. Now on the other hand if you have everything in place you are free to enjoy that little nighty, too

When You Are In Love, Anywhere Can Be Romantic

One of the most amazing things about being in love is that it turns the entire world into a romantic place.  Think about it when you first fell in love it didn't matter where you ended up as long as you were together.  Like this picture above you can almost feel the love these young lovers have for each other.  A park bench is usually very uncomfortable but in this case it because the most comfy place because of the love being shared.  Where have you found love to make it better in your life and we would love you to share you comments below.  

Photo from Creative Commons

Comfortable Sweatshirts (Red Hooded Sweatshirt)

One of the best things about this time of year is pulling out your favorite sweatshirt and enjoying it during the fall season.  Check out the video below from Adam Sandler about his Red Hooded Sweatshirt and see how much love a person can have for a sweatshirt.

Plus if anyone of you know me very well you know I can't resist a chance to put an Adam Sandler bit into my posts.

Play in the Leaves

As a kids we use to have the grandest time playing in the leaves.  Now leaves just are about raking and chores to us.  I remember the days when we would rake all the leaves in our yard just to make a pile big enough to jump into.  You know this can still be a fun activity for us in our adult life.  If you have kids you have an in right there.  If not invite the neighbor children (with their parents permission) to come down and help celebrate fall with you, heck why not just invite the neighborhood over.  

One year as kids we collected leaves from every yard in the neighborhood.  Dragged them down to one house with a old bed sheet and made a monster pile of leaves.  The entire neighborhood came down and either jumped in or took pictures / video.  Why not start that tradition in your neighborhood, the kids will love it and you can let that inner kid in you out to play for a while  

Photo from Creative Commons

Bullying - Stop it Now - Maureen McGrath

Watch this video on Bullying!  Maureen McGrath explains how bullying can cross over into work as well as your personal life.  All I can say is "Stop IT"  bullying only makes you look like an idiot besides being hurtful to others.  

Where would you leave a love note for your partner?

Our readers respond to the best places to leave a love note for your partner. It seems that our readers enjoy leaving hand written notes for their lovers to find in places like, in a pocket of their clothes, or on their pillow (both of these received 37% of the votes) Sending the note via the regular mail and texting both brought a response of 12%. Our readers would avoid sending a love note over email or voice mail. So it seems the old fashion hand written note works the best left in a place for them to discover it later.

Careful What You Say Around Your Kids

I was just sitting in the living room when my 5 year old son just says, "I'm Horny"  Now I know that he got the line off the movie Grown Ups.  However my concern rises where he might be saying this at school, leading his teachers to wonder why he is saying this.  We explained that it isn't something to say for a young person but as I am explaining this to him.  He shows me a toy and the toy has a horn on it's head.  He points to it and says well he is horny!  The innocent age is wonderful and one day he will really will be horny but for today it is just his toy!

Sexy Challenge Heartbeats - Relationship Evolution

Join Rob and Janelle on this episode of Sexy Challenge Heartbeats as they talk about how your relationship evolves over time.  If you think your relationship will stay the same for ever you might be surprised at what you will hear.  Click the link below and enjoy the show!  Make sure to subscribe via iTunes so you never miss a show.

Sexy Challenge Heartbeats Podcast

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5 Ways to Make Sex Sensual

Here is a guest post we did for Get Lusty for couples 

getlusty.com 

5 Ways to Make Sex Sensual

When you hear the word “sensual” you are most likely going to relate it to something sexual. If someone says to you, “You should try these strawberries. They are the most sensual fruit I have ever tasted,” where does your mind go?

Does it click in on just the fact that those strawberries must have been ripened to perfection? Or does your mind instantly click to a sexy image of biting into the fruit? What if someone offers to take you on a sensual journey? The first thing that probably comes to mind is the sexual scenario implied by such an offer and not the possibility he/she was just inviting you to the local grocery and department store. That could be sensual after all – taste this food, smell that cologne, feel this fabric, hear that song, read those tabloid headlines. 

Yet, isn’t doing your regular shopping something you sometimes dread. It has become boring. It feels like a chore. You just want to hurry up and get it over with because you know you need to do it, but really don’t want to. Uh oh, those descriptions might well cover something else in your life. Sex. 

Sex can absolutely be animalistic and a rip your clothes off and jump on your partner experience, but it can be very slow and sensual too. It should never just be about taking off your clothes, getting under the covers, groping each other a couple of minutes and then bumping and grinding for a few more minutes. So, how can you explore sensuality and bring it back into your sex life? Remember that sensual means that you are gratifying the senses. Satisfying all of your desires such as seeing, touching, smelling, hearing, and tasting is where sensuality really arrives on the scene. And, guess what, satisfying your sixth sense – your intuition or spiritual self is quite sensual too.

Here are 5 ways to make your intimate play sensual. Bonus: Call it intimate play ;) That changes it up right from the start.

#1 Focus on sensation

Wear clothing that feels good on your skin. Silk is a common suggestion here as it is cool to touch and so smooth. The feel of it brushing against your skin throughout the day can be a turn on. And, when your partner touches you through the silk that can be extremely exciting for both of you. If you don’t want to wear a sensual type of material during the day, then pick up some silk scarves or a feather or something velvety. Then you can use these different items to drag over your lover’s skin later in the evening. Focus on the sensation of the material or item touching you. It may be relaxing, tickly, or it may just have you ready to grab your lover and get busy.

#2 Light up your senses

Bring different flavors and smells into your lovemaking. One interesting way to do this is to get the Sexy Challenge: Lips Like Sugar as it offers you unique insight into trying different tastes with and/or upon your partner. Adding different flavors to your physically intimate life with your beloved can occur in a variety of ways. Food may seem like an obvious thing to bring into your lovemaking and there are many ways to do that, but don’t overlook flavored lubes as well. There are also a vast number of ways to bring in amazing aromas. Scented candles (we always recommend flameless candles for safety), lotions, colognes, lubes, and the different food items are all great ways to enhance your sensuality.

#3 Listen

What about hearing? How can you make that sensual? You could whisper sexy phrases or words of love into your partner’s ear. You could turn on music that you both enjoy and that will get you in the mood.

But, what about hearing the sound of your lover’s laughter! Bringing laughter and silliness into your sex life can be an amazing experience. Just let go and be goofy together. Laughter and lightheartedness will bring powerful, playful passion into your life and hopefully, you will come to appreciate the sensuous sound of your lover’s laugh.

#4 Massage

Time for a little naked massage! Yay! This actually satisfies more than one sense. With low lighting you can visually soak up the beauty of your sweetie all oiled up and glistening, but you can enjoy the aromas of scented oils or just the animalistic smell of him/her too. With both of you naked you can take turns rubbing your hands, your feet and your entire body – yep, genitals are great massage tools too – over your lover. 

#5 Focus on their pleasure

Last, but not least, we highly recommend that you pay attention and be consciously aware not only during foreplay and lovemaking, but at the peak of orgasm, after you are coming down from orgasm and for the next couple of days.

How do you feel? Did you notice anything out of the ordinary – visions, images, an extreme sense of bliss or simply like you entered a void or time was suspended? Sexual orgasmic energy taps you into the creative source (call it whatever you like – the Universe, Spirit, God, the Divine or even I don’t know what it is, but it sure feels goooood). This access to creativity through orgasm is why we want you to pay attention up to a few days later to see if you are more creative, have new ideas, solve problems easier than normal or maybe you just have a bigger smile on your face and feel energized. 

Use these five ways to bring more sensuality into your sex life and we believe you will transform your relationship and take your intimacy to a higher level – no matter where it is now. 

We're so excited to get a couple writing for GetLusty! They're both adorable, smart and altogether wonderful!

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc. are writers, counselors as well as Sacred and Sensual Teachers. They recently completed an eBook on "Sexy Challenges: Sacret and Sensual Experiences for Lovers" which is on sale at Amazon! Learn more about them on Sexy Challenges.