Communication 101

Communication 101

 

We all hear that communication is one of the most important things in a relationship.  I don't think anyone can debate that.  However, what if you are not the best talker or you have to think your feelings out before you say them?   You partner thinks you are just being silent.  Yet, you are trying not to say the wrong thing.  If one partner is used to speaking his/her mind, it is hard for the other to get his/her feelings out.  Most often what happens is the easy speaking partner will jump into the conversation before the less assertive partner finishes his/her thought.  To communicate when this is the problem takes effort on both of the people in the relationship.  The more timid speaker of the two has to get his/her courage up and his/her in order before speaking, and the more assertive speaker has to back off a little and let the other partner speak at his/her own speed. 

 

Still, even at best there will still be some communication problems.  Some things I might suggest to help with communication are as follows.  First, try sitting back to back when you need to have a heated discussion.  Sit with your backs touching, this at least gives both of you some comfort as touch is another important part of a relationship.  Some people will be able to speak more from the heart when not having someone staring at him/her waiting for a reply.  If sitting back to back doesn't work, you might try to write your conversation out or since we live in modern times text each other or instant message each other from another room.  Something about conversing over the Internet gives people freedom from their fears of speaking.  But, also be cautious of texting or emailing as one’s tone cannot be understood via written words.  If neither one of these ideas work, you can as a last resort try a mediator.  If you have a close mutual friend you feel comfortable with, let him/her sit in on your communication or you can even get a counselor that can referee your conversations.  I only suggest counseling if you issues are threatening your relationship.   

 

In closing, remember that words can hurt just as much as physical pain – often times more.  If you never have kind words to express to your partner, he/she will feel less of a person and it could spin your relationship towards trouble.  If you need more help or assistance finding communication help, get online and do some searching.  I really like a gentleman that goes by the title "The Tower of Power".  Joshua  Uebergang is his real name, and you can find his web site athttp://www.towerofpower.com.au/