Sharing your Passions
As you search for an identity as a couple you need to find something that you both can be passionate about. Something you can share and look forward to doing together. I would suggest finding something new for both of you. Your current hobbies are probably already set, and trying to share them might make them a little less appealing For instance, if you have been jogging for years and do about 10 miles each time and you try to get your loved to join you, he/she may not be able to keep up and that would not only dampen your fitness routine, but stress your partner. Explaining every little detail of your hobby to someone who knows nothing about it can get a little intense when you are trying to enjoy it. So the best answer is to find something new to both of you and dive in.
The idea is simple, but the search is on. Trying to find something that appeals to both of you is the challege. Take out some paper and each of you write down some things you always wanted to try or participate in. Do this individually of each other so you are unlikely to "steal" one another's ideas. Once both of you have completed a substantial list, compare the two lists. Look for similar things. Those may not be the exactly the same, but look for similarities so that you can compromise. For example, you might have cycling on your list, while he/she has exercise on his/hers. Ta da! Grab your bikes, and find some trails. His/her list might say he/she would love to try wine tasting, and his/hers might say that he/she would love to just hit the open road and drive. Presto! You hop in the car and fine some wineries (just make sure not to drive while under the influence). I have offered you ways to combine/compromise. This is a great exercise for couples and getting in them mind set of sharing things more.
Here are a couple more examples. He/she would love to work with animals and his/her partner might like to do some voulunteer work. Bing bang, boom. You both find time to voulunteer at the local animal shelter together. Okay I'm gonna one more example. He/she wants to start a blog and his/her partner wants to learn potography. Shazam. You start a blog together. The photography buff takes the pictures while the computer guru posts the comments. Then you sit around and drink coffee and read your blog together. I hope everyone is getting the point. All you have to do is find a way to combine your interests into something you both can enjoy. If you can't find anything else, pick two rival sporting teams and every time they play make it a big deal to heckle each others team - as long as it remains all in fun. Hey you could put a little wager on the game like the loser has to do the dishes for the rest of the week, and of course, you can even get a little naughty with your bet. It's okay after all you are a couple.
