Don't feel like sex, then be a fan.

You know not all the times do our libidos match up. Sometimes one of us is in the mood while the other isn't. It is not wrong if you don't want to have sex and your partner does. In the same way it is not wrong to want sex if you partner doesn't. Well what can you do to keep you both happy. If you are the person that doesn't want to have sex at this time, encourage them to masturbate in front of you so you can watch. This might sound a little unusual but it is a way for you to both get what you want. With different libidos we have to get creative so that neither one of you feel left out or pressured. Masturbation isn't cheating as some people would believe but it can be a very intimate act if you enjoy it together. Make sure to touch and watch to show your partner you care as the pleasure themselves. Afterwards you can cuddle as if you have both just had sex which will satisfy both of your desires. We have to be creative to overcome differences in libidos but with a little effort it can take on a life of it's own.

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Gratitude.

Sometimes we get caught up with the feeling of lack or what we don't have in our lives. We forget about all the wonderful things that we just expect to be there day in and day out. Instead of enjoying the things we have we continue to struggle for the things we don't have. We build stress and depression going after these thing. All the time the things that we need to make us happy are right in front of our face. If you haven't read or watched The Secret yet, when you do they take in large part about gratitude and how being thankful is a big part of getting what you want out of life. Give and take is a force in the universe that smiles on you when you understand it so start today and be thankful and appreciative for the good things around you. Then see how the rest of the things start to fall into place.

Affection in front of the kids (ewww yuck!)

Something that I think needs to be done in your relationship is to let your children know you are in love. Show each other affection in front of them. Now I am not talking about getting down and dirty. Save that for the bedroom or any other room as long as the little ones are asleep. However, let your young children know it is okay for the two of you to touch each other and be affectionate with each other. I don't ever remember seeing my parents touch, kiss or hold hands when I was growing up. I think that without such a vision in a young child’s mind he/she might think that it is not to be done. Or he/she may grow up to believe you shouldn't show that you care about someone in front of other people. It may sound crazy, but I can see this leading to a lot of problems in a relationship. Keeping the fact that you are attracted to each other away from your children gives them a different idea of what a relationship is! I think of all the domestic abuse in this country, and how many children see that. Far too often that child grows up to think it is okay or the norm.

Well, what if we reverse that? What if a child sees his/her daddy kiss his/her mommy or hold hands with her? Don't you think that will help a child grow up knowing that a relationship should be nurturing. Young children love to imitate their parents. Let’s start showing them how to care about one another. Heck maybe even someone else’s kids will see you holding hands or quickly kissing each other goodbye and see that is okay. From time to time your child might walk in on you during a little more intimate situation (come on you know what I mean- sex), and I think one thing that is important and maybe a little hard to do is not jump up right away like the two of you are doing something wrong. If you can slowly move apart and address the young child’s needs then explain to them that mommies and daddies need time alone together, you just might help them deal with similar situations when they are adults.

Be up front with your children in regards to love and relationships. Not only will they understand it better, but you will definitely help them out later in life. So many relationship problems and sexual problems can be traced back to parents. Don't be the one that makes your son feel like kissing his wife is wrong or the one that makes your daughter feel like sex is dirty. Use the right words and explain when they are curious and their future partners will thank you!