A little please goes a long way.

One thing that we take for granted in a relationship is basic manners. Think about it when is the last time you said please and thank you to your partner. Well if you are lacking in this department you need to start focusing on it. Start ending each request of your partner with please, and make sure to thank them when they complete any task that benefits you. Now all of the sudden you are asking for a favor instead of barking out an order. For example check out the difference in these two statements, "Make sure you take the deposit to the bank" or "Could you take this deposit to the bank, please?" Wow what a difference a couple of words can make it can change the whole feeling of the words. Next time you catch yourself falling in this trap just make the adjustment and start adding please and thank you to your requests.

Discuss bad dreams.

We all have bad dreams from time to time. They might even be bad about your relationship. The first thing you need to remember is that these are only dreams and they might have deeper meanings then just the surface meaning. I feel it is important to discuss these dreams with your partner so that you see they are not real. Dreams can be funny things they can give a glimpse into what is going on in our lives. However you can't dwell on them if something bad happens but they should make you aware of your life a little more. Maybe, just maybe you dream is trying to tell you something. If it is about your partner maybe your not giving them enough attention or that you have had negative feelings. Again I feel it is important to discuss these dreams with your partner and get clear on them.

Spur of the moment.

When is the last time you have done anything without putting lots of time into planning it. Vacations, shopping, buying groceries all require planning and lists so that we don't forget anything and make sure to cover all basics. Well I want to suggest doing something, anything on the spur of the moment. Suggest something to your partner out of the blue and then don't hesitate. Take a weekend get away on the spur of the moment. Throw some clothes in a bag and head out don't have a specific place to go just let the road lead you. Go to the movies and ask a stranger what movie they suggest and then go see that movie. Go shopping at a store that you have never been in before and purchase something. Put a little spice into your life, don't just sit around being bored get out and smell some roses. Life is only here for a short time, take advantage of it all you can.

Holding hands can make a difference.

Tough times are hard to get through. Once simple thing that will make it a little better is holding hands during them. Funerals, financial troubles, hurt feelings are all things that the simple act of holding hands will benefit both partners. The support and ability to lean on your partner is one of those things that makes relationships wonderful. You can give gifts, go on vacations, and have parties out the butt. However when the chips are down a simple hand holding for support will work wonders.

Is it my turn?

One thing we find interesting in our relationship is that we both like to be the aggressor in our sex life. This presents a little problem as we both get a rush being the one that initiates sex. As fun as it might sound you both can be the aggressor at the same time. That's like both of you trying to lead during dancing. The simple solution to this problem is to take turns being the aggressor. Don't pick a specific date but just make every other time a switch to the other persons time to be the aggressor. Sex is powerful and the rush you get from taking your partner in your arms to initiate the actions. Hard kisses that tell the other person what you have in mind, or leading your partner by the hand to the bedroom and shutting the door are a couple of ways that get this point across. Being the less aggressive partner isn't all bad but being the passive one all the time really sucks. Make sure both partners get to prowl for sex within your relationship. Their is something about getting that look in your eye and the raw emotions of being aggressive when it come to getting the intimacy you want.

Lust in a relationship

Once you have an established relationship can there still be lust for each other. You bet there can be. The definition of lust is a intense sexual desire or appetite. Now who wouldn't want that in their relationship. We seem to think of lust as something we have at the beginning phases of a relationship or when we can't have the person we want. Yet lust can make our long term relationships so much better if we just look at the definition. I can't understand why people want their relationship to take on different meaning once it is established. It's like so many people want a roommate or the financial help that relationships bring but they don't wan the basis of what relationships are about. Companionship, love, passion, romance, sex, and lust should never wain in your relationship. If they start to it is your responsibility to direct your attention back to them. I think the big thing is we have to get out of the mold that relationships have to get boring with time! If you look at some truly loving couples that have been together for a long period of time you will find that they put all these things to the front of their relationship. Because as I always say if you put them at the end of your relationship that is where you will soon be "At the end of your relationship"

Furniture Picks

When picking out furniture, don't forget to keep your relationship in mind. We all want nice large pieces of furniture that give us room to spread out and get comfortable. The huge sectional couches that allow everyone their own space is nice. However do you always want to be spread out? Are there not times when you want to get close? Well you should pick out some furniture that lets you do that. Even the names of some of this furniture increases the romance in your relationship. Pieces like the love seat or a cuddle chair just scream for closeness for a couple. Heck you can even get a bean bag chair built for two. Use this piece of furniture as you sanctuary. It is your chair for the two of you make it a point to use it during movies when you need to talk or just want to cuddle. Yes you can get the huge couch but pick out a little spot for the two of you at the same time.

Let the sunshine in!

One thing that can change a mood in mere minutes is letting the sun into your life. For us that live in climates were we go through months of cold and dreary days we can get a little stir crazy. There are times where we spend all day inside and never even see the sun. This is proven to depress some people a little bit. We here in the midwest call them the winter blues and they can happen more than in the winter. Recently we had a bout of several cloudy days in a row without sunshine and the mood around town was pretty depressing. However once the sunshine returned it was like magic people were out having a great time, smiling and laughing while they were out.

Relationships can be effected by these lack of sunshine, too. If possible, if you live in these long cold spell climates, I would suggest taking your vacation in the middle of it to go somewhere for some sun. The whole family can benefit from bringing a little sunshine back with you from this vacation. For you relationship it can be like recharging your batteries. Not only will it break up the winter blues but it will also make you feel better and get you out of that rut that you are in as the winter drags on. It will show you the light at the end of the tunnel and give you hope that spring is just around the corner. Plus it could jump start a cold libido, too.

Now at this time of year you can make sure to open up all curtains the would let sunshine into your house. Get outside as much as possible, plan activities that will get you away from the television and computer and breath life back into your relationships. If you have to work see if you can do it outside, get a laptop and find a comfy spot and type away for the day. The fresh air as well as the sunshine will do amazing things for you.

Give the gift of time!

There is one thing that you can give our partner that is the most valuable gift ever. That is the gift of time. This can be given in many different ways. You can give them time to themselves, to read, or relax or just do whatever they want to do. You can also give them the gift of your time, taking time out of your schedule to spend quality time with them. Take a day off work to enjoy it with them or to take them someplace special. You can never go wrong giving the gift of time no matte how you do it. Maybe you agree to watch the children while they exercises or take them away so they can have a totally quite house to do whatever they want. Again this is the most valuable item you can distribute to them and maybe you would like this gift also at times. Don't be afraid to ask for it. Tell them you would like them to schedule you in some time or that you really need to get something accomplished and need some alone time. If your partner truly loves you they will understand the gift will be given.

Above is the great painting by Salvador Dali

Read something that inspires you.

Reading is one of the best things you can do. Not only for yourself but for your relationship, also. Once a month pick a book that either has something to do with an added area of your relationship or a self help type of book. Not that you have to follow the suggestions of the book word for word or make a complete lifestyle change. However I am sure you can find bits and pieces of the book that you might enjoy in your life. Things like tantric practices, building self esteem, ways to improve conversations, are great ideas when you are searching for books. If you are on a budget you can find older book in bargain bins or Amazon.com has lots of books that basically you purchase for a penny and just pay the shipping and handling on. Click on our amazon side bar and find a book that is just right for you. What I like about amazon is their search feature. Just type in a suggestion and you will soon have thousands of books to choose from. Your library is another option but in my dealings with our local library is that they tend to shy away from books about things having to do with sex, and or relationships issues. If you have lots of friends that read you can even start a book co-op where you all purchase a book then put it into the community for anyone to read after you finish it. By reading different things we keep our minds open to things the might really help our relationship down the line or at the current time. You can either read the book together or apart. If you are reading a book leave it out so that your partner can see what you are reading. This act alone will spark some conversations that might get you both thinking a little differently.