Valentines Day is Coming!

If you are unaware, it is only about 2 weeks until Valentine's Day is here. This is one of the most important days in as far as a relationship goes. It is a day you are suppose to show your partner how much they mean to you. The last thing you want to do is forget and have to pick up some lame gift on the spur of the moment. So today is the day you need to start figuring out your Valentine's Day gift. If money is no object to you then a trip, jewelry, or tickets to a great event are a wonderful idea. However, just because you don't have much money to spare doesn't mean your off the hook. Low on cash, just means that you have to be more creative in your pursuits of the perfect Valentine's Day gift. You could writer you love a poem, or create a fantastic meal for them. Silly things like planting love notes all over the house or decorating your bedroom really show that you are into your partner. Set up a romantic night for your partner will all of the things mentioned above. Make it a scavenger hunt have them run all over town picking up things you would need for your surprise, then when they get home with the goodies have them relax while you get everything ready.

Valentine's Day is a day that is high on the intimacy charts. Don't forget to plan some special love making into your special day. Wear something sexy or lay out something sexy for your partner to wear, put cologne or perfume on and make sure they get a good smell of you. Lastly be provocative make sure they know your intentions, then get wild and crazy when you hit the bedroom. Try something different or something you don't normally do, but your partner loves. The special feeling you get form giving your Valentine their special gift will be one of the greatest feelings you can have. Get your paper out now and start creating your special and memorable Valentine's Day.

Are you leaving yourself to many exits to avoid intimacy?

Exits are basically ways to escape or leave things. Are you using any exits to avoid intimacy in your relationship? Think about it do you avoid intimacy in your relationship and if so what is your choice of exits. Things such as television, or sickness are two of the common ones. We have all heard the old line "Not tonight dear, I have a headache" or we get so involved in a show that we have to watch it several times a night until we are to tired. Sports are another big exit people use to get away from intimacy in a relationship. Personally I don't understand why you would want to be in a relationship and avoid intimacy. Exits can be things that are important also like you kids, do you know anyone that puts their children ahead of everything else and then doesn't have time to enjoy things they want to do. I agree that your children are important but they need to understand that relationships are important and you are the only one that can show them that. Some exits are harmful to the person or other persons in a relationship. Alcohol and drugs are the main exits people use to escape from the pressure of being in a relationship. Right now I want you to think about exits you use in your relationship, they can be things you use to avoid intimacy or even just things you use to avoid areas of your relationship such as parenting or friendship. Relationship are not easy for everyone and the are constantly requiring work, so instead of shying away with the use of exits why not buck up and put the effort into building a strong relationship?

Keep your partner comfortable with the changing of the season.

Right now where we live it is cold and snowy but before we know it the weather will change and the heat will be unbearable. Keeping your living space livable is your mission. Do you have extra blanket in the areas your partner will frequent during the cold months? Places where they like to curl up and read or on your bed to keep warm and snuggly? With these simple things as placing a blanket somewhere can really improve you stock in the relationship. Maybe whipping up some hot chocolate or buying some warm slippers will not only help keep the blood pumping in your partner but will also help you keep your fuel bills down. Same goes for the summer hot months do you have fans ready for the really hot days. Again, offering some ice cold drinks would make you look like a saint as the mercury in the thermometer rises. Make sure you also have all your clothes ready for the changing of the seasons also. Sweaters and sweatshirts for fall and winter and shorts and t-shirts when spring and summer roll around. By keeping your partner comfortable you will reap the rewards as they have to thank you is some manner.

Fights are like weeds in your garden!

Farmers can grow the most perfect garden in the world but occasionally a few weeds will pop up. This is the same with fights in your relationship, no matter how strong your relationship is from time to time a fight will break out. Usually these will take the form of an argument and they can be short lived or long and drawn out, that is up to the individuals. If you go into a relationship with the delusion of never having a fight then you are not very realistic. Fights sometimes help clear the air and get things out in the open. There are some important things you need to know when a fight does accrue. First and for most stay away from personal attacks, don't just throw things out in the middle of an argument that don't pertain to the situation. Things like your fat, or stupid or both fat and stupid are not important and will really harm your relationship down the road. Stick with the subject and focus on that. Second, don't let the fight consume you so that you break down the lines of communication, not speaking to each other is the worst type of fight because no resolution will ever be made. If you need time to get away from the situation take a little but make sure to let your partner know how long you will be gone. Lastly and this is a hard one, try to wait for make up sex until the day after you make up. You don't want to associate great sex with a fight and you don't want to fall into that trap of, "we need to fight to have great sex" Set your boundaries and agree at a time when you are not fighting that disagreements will not ruin your relationship, set up a way to discuss the issues in a calm manner so that both partners get a say in the outcome. With a little work your fights can become little more then heated debates.

Artwork above titled Disagreement between Sum of all Parts by Jeff Tanger

Get over your fear of Masturbation.

One thing you need to do to have a healthy and happy relationship is to get over your fear of masturbation. Almost everyone masturbates they just don't talk about it. Just because your partner is pleasuring themselves doesn't mean your relationship is on the rocks. It means that masturbation feels good, you don't think your relationship is going down the tubes because your partner is exercising do you. If they thought of your partner masturbating is hard for you to understand then think of it as exercise, this way they are in great sexual shape to satisfy your needs. My suggestions to couples is to do it together that way it is more intimate and the one partner doesn't feel like they are sneaking around to get this pleasure. I understand that they way many people were brought up that masturbation was a taboo and forbidden practice well I am here to tell you that most of the people who told you that were masturbating also. Masturbating with a partner the first time is a little nerve racking I understand that but you have so much to gain from this action. For starters your partner is going to see how you like to be pleased, they are also going to most likely get turned on by your actions, and it can be very intimate once you get comfortable doing it. Think about it while your making yourself feel good your partner can be caressing your body, whispering in your ear, or even masturbating with you. Now if you don't think those things are sexy then you need some help. Lastly this helps us in our relationship by calming the seas between the differences in our libido. Now you can encourage your partner to let you watch them instead of just flat out telling them you don't feel like it. Masturbation can also help with areas like premature ejaculation, understanding, and even a little role playing. Some women enjoy when a man masturbates before they make love because it makes it a little smaller for it's next go around. You can find plenty of great books to help you and your partner gain trust and experience in mutual masturbation and you can search for them by clicking on my Amazon side bar.

Wear Underwear the accents your features.

Unless your a model the only person the probably sees your underwear is your partner. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be active in picking underwear that makes helps you look sexy. I hear so much from people that they don't understand why their partner wears nice underwear to work but then at home wears things that are a little more, well unsexy. Tighty Whities, Granny panties, or just old tattered underwear are just a few that pop into my mind. Next time you know that your partner will see you in your underwear give them a show. Parade around in front of them with some sexy Victoria Secret special panties or a thong are bound to gain attention of your partner. Men make sure the underwear you select accents your manhood well. You can even give it a little rubbing to draw more attention to it. With any luck your partner will be overcome with passion and quickly want to explore your underpants a little more.

Feeling Flirty

One thing that we lose when we get into a relationship is the focus we put into flirting. We feel that we have got our mate so there is no use putting the extra effort into this ritual of attraction. Well I am here to tell you that flirting should continue as long as you both still have a heart beat. Why would you want to stop doing something that tells the other person you are interested in them as well as you are still attracted to them? Wouldn't our relationships stay stronger if each and every day we felt like we had to impress our partner? Maybe if you flirt a little more your sexual relationship would get better also. Flirting is an art form that we need to continue to improve each and every day and if you have a partner you have a great advantage at focusing on this skill. You can be a little more out going in your flirtation when you know your partner cares about you already. Tonight give a little wink or a stare and make sure you partner knows that you still want to chase them a little!

When sex isn't an option use your hands!

There are times in your relationship that you might not be able or care to have sex, and that is quite alright. What happens when your partner wants to enjoy a little intimacy and for what ever reason you don't want to. Well that is why god gave your hands, among many other reasons. You can use your hands to pleasure your partner now matter if your man or woman. There are many different techniques, methods, and even toys to help you in the pursuit. Remember just because you are not in the mood or feeling like it doesn't mean your partner should have to suffer or resist their urges. Handjobs are the obvious answer to anyone and you can give them to males and females alike. The book Red Hot Touch in our Amazon side bar is a great read for learning more about this type of enjoyment. Oral sex is another option that most people enjoy receiving and can be quite as nice as any other form of sex. Today they are also many toys that can be used to achieve satisfaction and can be use by or on your partner. Masturbators for men and vibrators and dildos for women are great tool to get your partner off when you just don't feel like it. The important part is being together, if your really don't feel like assisting in any matter then tell them you would love to watch them pleasure themselves and at least the two of you are together instead of in the other room away from each other during orgasm. Don't doom your partner to sexless nights because you are not in the mood both of you are important parts to this relationship and both your feelings are important. So instead of saying, "No way" to your eager partner find another way to excite them, that way both of your needs get met.

Above is a picture of the Tenga Egg the newest technology in masturbation for men.

Horny people have feeling to.

There is a misconception in the area of relationships these days that has me a little troubled. This is the fact that if one person in the relationship is more sexual(horny) then the other, that their only goal is to have sex! How many of you out their have ever heard these expressions "That's all you want from me" or "Is that all you think about?" Now I am going to stick up for these people because these simple expression are really hurtful to someone that just wants to be intimate with their partner. Remember this, These people don't just want to have sex, they want to be intimate with you. They find your very appealing and enjoy being physical with you, they also find comfort in you. It's not all "Bang a Gong get it on" to coin a term from T.Rex but it is more of a feeling to them. The act of sex is primal unless you put it into context of a committed relationship, then it becomes a form of communication and love. It's non verbal but can bring both parties to a feeling of joy and happiness. So next time you feel a little frustrated when you think you partner is being a little to frisky, say to yourself, "I am so glad that they are passionate and committed to me that they desire me this much" 99% of the time if you just try to look at things from a different perspective you understand it a little better.

Just like a garden you need to cultivate your relationship

Do you think that gardens just grow themselves without any assistance from the farmer? Sure you might get an occasional plant to sprout just by letting them grow wild but with a little care and attention that same plant will grow stronger and bigger. Same goes for your relationship. Are you putting time into your relationship, are you putting effort into it, and are you putting your relationship into perspective with all the other things going on in your life? Do you find yourself talking about things that bother you more then the things that make you happy? Well if you one of those people who let outside influences affect your relationship then you need to take a step back and realize that you are not giving your relationship the sun and water it needs to grow. You are putting a dark cloud over your relationship. How important do your rank your relationship? Most of us would say pretty high maybe behind children, would be the only thing in front of our relationship to most of us. However most of us spend way more time focusing on other things then our relationship. We put extra hours into work, exercise, and many other things then giving our relationships the time and respect it deserve. Basically we take them for granted, this is the fast track to losing this relationship. For example how much time do you spend in preparation for making love to your partner? Now compare that to how much time your spend preparing for work each morning. How much time do you spend on your cell phone when you are out together are you chit chatting with friends, family, or co-workers when you should be focusing on your partner and having a good time with them. I think most of us need to really look at how much effort we are putting into our relationships, and I am sure that most of your out there will feel like you can do more if you try just a little. Now get your watering can and roll up your sleeves and start today cultivating the best relationship you can.