Pick the right lube for you!

Relationships have their share of friction, but you don't have to have as much in your sex life. Lube is an essential part of any relationship. If you look all across the world you will see that most couples either have lube on their headboard or somewhere near their bed. Lubrication is a wonderful tool to help explore and improve your sex life. While the woman's body naturally produces lube for sex sometimes it's not enough or doesn't produce fast enough. Plus sometimes things boldly go where no natural lube is available (Sorry for the Star Trek reference). Now what type of lube is the best, well I can't help you there! In my experience I believe that it is a personal choice and what works well for someone can have the opposite effect on others. The biggest thing is to make sure the lube you are using is safe, do your research and find the lube that is best for your body, you might have to try several before you find one you like, but that might be fun in itself. Some lubes are not compatible with condoms or sex toys so to avoid ruining the moment make sure to check the packages and do your research. Friction in your relationship will happen but you at least can avoid it in the bedroom.

Listen.

One of the hardest skill to master in a relationship is the art of listening. We all want to add our two cents worth and can't wait to bust into the conversation to do so. Sometimes however we just need to listen and not offer any advice or insight to the situation. Sometimes people just need to vent out frustrations and the person they want to do this with is you. It is hard as the person that just listens to not want to help out, but this only makes matters worse. The person venting just needs to get their feelings out in the open and when they do the release comes. Usually if they have a point that is not a valid one they will see the errors of their way as they vent. They might come across as yelling at you but they are not, they just want to pretend they are letting the person or situation that upset them have it. The yelling or raising of their voice is just a natural defense and another means of letting the stress out. The best thing you can do is hold all comments to the end, after they have told or screamed the whole situation and then run down scenarios with them as you try to find solutions or comfort.

Depriving yourself a little make everything a little better when you get it.

Depriving yourself of the wonders of life sometimes make them that much better when you finally do get to indulge in them. Take for instance deserts, they are not that great for you but if you partake of them all the time you get fat. However if you go without them for a period of time they taste so much better, when you finally get them. Sex can be the same for you. Think about it if you had sex every single day it might not be as special. Don't get me wrong I am not telling anyone to go even more then a week without sex. Sometimes, however a couple of days of rest helps you build up and be ready to go longer and stronger then ever. The next time you make love wait about 3 days before enjoying it again and see how anxious you get while you are waiting. Now to make this work right make sure not to masturbate either so you get a total build up that is ready to release. I know from my personal experience that if I put a little buffer in their the night I finally do get to have sex again I can usually perform way better and more often. Plus if you let that sexual tension build up a little the release seems to be way more amazing. Again let me reiterate that I don't believe that you should wait to long because sex is great for your health and mental state.

Throw in the hat when you want to avoid the "What do you want to do" blues

Okay it is time for the two of you to get out and have some alone time. You set down to decide where your date night will take you then you hear those dreaded words and make your cringe, "What do you want to do?" and the most typical response is "I don't know what do you want to do?" This can go on for hours, and when someone finally makes a suggestion the other person usually shoots it down. Well here is a fun and exciting way to take the "What do you want to do" out of your dating plans. Write down all the places you like to eat, activities you like to do, and even the odd things you do every once in a while. Then cut out each idea and throw them into a hat. Keep the hat in a safe place and now every time you get a chance to get out draw a piece for paper from the hat, presto that is what you are going to do. You can put anything into the hat and if you want to make a couple of hats up. One with places to eat and another for activities to do after you eat. Every time you think of a new place to go or something new to do throw it in the hat. The more ideas in the hat the less bored you will get. You can throw the idea back into the hat if you wish but I suggest keeping it out for the new time you draw. Now instead of saying "what do you want to do?" you will save all that time and be able to spend more of it enjoying each other.

Lips Like Sugar

Lips like sugar can mean so many things. It can mean that your lover kisses are as sweet as candy or it can mean that when you perform oral sex on a woman that her lips are juicy and sweet. I first heard the term in a song by Echo and the Bunnymen when I was in high school many years ago. Violet Blue used the term as a title of one of her books about women's erotica (Which you can find by clicking the title of this post) Whatever the meaning is to you make sure to use this this little statement to describe your partners lips sometimes. Right after a passionate kiss is a great time to say "Your lips are like Sugar" Get into a habit of comparing your partner to wonderful thing and use similes and metaphors to express your ideas. Much like poems your words can make someone feel great, so don't delay start today.

Now enjoy a little bit of my youth with the video from Echo and the Bunnymen.

Communication Exercises

Communication is and always will be a hurdle in a relationship. We often have trouble communicating our wishes to our partner. Sometimes we fear hurting his/her feelings or we are afraid of being rejected by him/her and having our own feelings hurt.

Here is a little communication exercise that they two of you can implement into your relationship.
It will help clear up some communication problems. In my opinion, one of the biggest problems in a relationship is that one person is more out spoken than the other. This leads to discussions being one sided and the other person not being able to get his/her point across.

What you need to do is set up a couple of days for single communication for each one of you. Pick a day and a time when the two of you have time to sit down together and discuss things.  Set aside 15-30 minutes.

On the first day only one person gets to talk.  He/she expresses things that are bothering him/her as well as things that make him/her happy. Here is the kicker, the other person cannot respond to anything until the next day. It is important for him/her to remain quite and listen without interruption even if he/she disagrees with what the speaking partner is saying.

Both partners let that soak in until they can sit down again.   Then it is the other partner's turn to speak openly.  Not only does this offer the quieter of the two to get his/her point across, but it helps both partners learn to listen.  

Make this a regular practice - perhaps once a week or once a month.  Do this and you will see a change in your relationship as the communication lines begin to open.

Be straight forward with what you want in the bedroom.

It is far to common for people to keep their desires locked away from everyone, and that is okay if you are hiding them from the general public. However if you are in a great relationship with someone you really care about then you need to cue them into your desires. It might be a little nerve racking to tell someone this important to you that you want something a little different in the bedroom, but believe me they are probably feeling the same way. Open up those lines of communication however don't be afraid to say if you are uncomfortable with the suggestion they give. I think you will be pleasantly surprise at the reactions you get to expressing your desires. We all have curiosities and want to experience new things and what better way to do that then to experiment a little in the bedroom. Make sure that if your partner opens up to you with a desire they have that you respond in the correct way. Consider anything that they say, but again don't be afraid to say no if you are totally uncomfortable with it. When you partner opens up to you in the manner make sure you respond with a request of your own, basically trade desires with each other. You know the old saying one hand washes the other, well one hand can role play while they other ties you up, too. Research the request together and makes sure you know all precautions that you might need to perform the request. Sex is an important part of any long term relationship, and spicing it up never hurts it's importance. Now, take a deep breath and tell you partner your desires, this will set the tone for a great relationship where communication is your best friend.

Financial Troubles

One of the biggest problems in relationships today is financial troubles. Not only do they weigh on the individual but they can really put a stress on your relationship. However, there is no time like the present to do something about your financial crisis before it ends up hurting your relationship. Most people will get angry at their partner when discussing this matters as you feel it is all the other persons fault. If you look at it however if you are in a committed relationship it is the couples fault. Once you get past that hurdle you can both sit down and start to hash out a plan to get you out of this mess. You might need to get more help and hire a financial consultant that can give you insight into how to address situations. Set a budget and stick to it make it a game you can even reward your partner with things such as massages, special dinners or even sex if they help to get the two of you out of debt. Most couples have gone through tough time you are not the first and will not be the last, you focus should be one correcting the situation instead of blaming anything. Amazon has a wide selection of books on the topic of getting finances back in order and you can click on the bar at the side to take you there in a hurry.

Other uses for Lotion (Men this is directed at you)

With the cold winter weather we are having right now one thing you need to do is keep your skin soft. Rough hands are ones that no one wants to hold or get touched by. Men if you are the type of guy who's hands get rough during these months it is time to use that lotion in the bathroom for something other then what you normally use it for! Make it a point to lotion your dry hands every time you get out of the shower. Anytime you go to the bathroom and wash your hands apply another dose of this wonder. Soon you will start to feel that your hands are getting soft and less abrasive. This makes massaging your partner much much better, not only for you but for them also. No longer will you snag your dry skin on their clothes or make them shy away when you try to touch them. Now more than ever they will enjoy your hands on their naked body. Plus it is better for the other use of the lotion also (wink wink) Now go out and get those hand soft and ready.

Get out in the cold, so you can warm up together later.

Even though it is winter time for most of us there are still plenty of things for couples to do outside. You can always dress up really warm and go for a exhilarating walk in the cold air. Snow skiing is another way couples can pass the time outside and there are several forms you can participate in. Your normal down hill skiing, sledding, tubing, and cross country skiing are just a few activities that can get the two of you outside, with being able to be together. Building snowmen, making snow angels or just challenge the local kids to a snowball fight. Just make sure to dress warmly and enjoy each others company. Now after you spend all this time out in the cold air, you are going to need to warm up. What better way then to snuggle up together in front of the fireplace sipping hot cocoa while you touch each other. At this time of year nothing is more romantic then enjoying a warm fire with the person you want to be closest to.