Communication Exercises

Communication is and always will be a hurdle in a relationship. We often have trouble communicating our wishes to our partner. Sometimes we fear hurting his/her feelings or we are afraid of being rejected by him/her and having our own feelings hurt.

Here is a little communication exercise that they two of you can implement into your relationship.
It will help clear up some communication problems. In my opinion, one of the biggest problems in a relationship is that one person is more out spoken than the other. This leads to discussions being one sided and the other person not being able to get his/her point across.

What you need to do is set up a couple of days for single communication for each one of you. Pick a day and a time when the two of you have time to sit down together and discuss things.  Set aside 15-30 minutes.

On the first day only one person gets to talk.  He/she expresses things that are bothering him/her as well as things that make him/her happy. Here is the kicker, the other person cannot respond to anything until the next day. It is important for him/her to remain quite and listen without interruption even if he/she disagrees with what the speaking partner is saying.

Both partners let that soak in until they can sit down again.   Then it is the other partner's turn to speak openly.  Not only does this offer the quieter of the two to get his/her point across, but it helps both partners learn to listen.  

Make this a regular practice - perhaps once a week or once a month.  Do this and you will see a change in your relationship as the communication lines begin to open.

Be straight forward with what you want in the bedroom.

It is far to common for people to keep their desires locked away from everyone, and that is okay if you are hiding them from the general public. However if you are in a great relationship with someone you really care about then you need to cue them into your desires. It might be a little nerve racking to tell someone this important to you that you want something a little different in the bedroom, but believe me they are probably feeling the same way. Open up those lines of communication however don't be afraid to say if you are uncomfortable with the suggestion they give. I think you will be pleasantly surprise at the reactions you get to expressing your desires. We all have curiosities and want to experience new things and what better way to do that then to experiment a little in the bedroom. Make sure that if your partner opens up to you with a desire they have that you respond in the correct way. Consider anything that they say, but again don't be afraid to say no if you are totally uncomfortable with it. When you partner opens up to you in the manner make sure you respond with a request of your own, basically trade desires with each other. You know the old saying one hand washes the other, well one hand can role play while they other ties you up, too. Research the request together and makes sure you know all precautions that you might need to perform the request. Sex is an important part of any long term relationship, and spicing it up never hurts it's importance. Now, take a deep breath and tell you partner your desires, this will set the tone for a great relationship where communication is your best friend.

Financial Troubles

One of the biggest problems in relationships today is financial troubles. Not only do they weigh on the individual but they can really put a stress on your relationship. However, there is no time like the present to do something about your financial crisis before it ends up hurting your relationship. Most people will get angry at their partner when discussing this matters as you feel it is all the other persons fault. If you look at it however if you are in a committed relationship it is the couples fault. Once you get past that hurdle you can both sit down and start to hash out a plan to get you out of this mess. You might need to get more help and hire a financial consultant that can give you insight into how to address situations. Set a budget and stick to it make it a game you can even reward your partner with things such as massages, special dinners or even sex if they help to get the two of you out of debt. Most couples have gone through tough time you are not the first and will not be the last, you focus should be one correcting the situation instead of blaming anything. Amazon has a wide selection of books on the topic of getting finances back in order and you can click on the bar at the side to take you there in a hurry.

Other uses for Lotion (Men this is directed at you)

With the cold winter weather we are having right now one thing you need to do is keep your skin soft. Rough hands are ones that no one wants to hold or get touched by. Men if you are the type of guy who's hands get rough during these months it is time to use that lotion in the bathroom for something other then what you normally use it for! Make it a point to lotion your dry hands every time you get out of the shower. Anytime you go to the bathroom and wash your hands apply another dose of this wonder. Soon you will start to feel that your hands are getting soft and less abrasive. This makes massaging your partner much much better, not only for you but for them also. No longer will you snag your dry skin on their clothes or make them shy away when you try to touch them. Now more than ever they will enjoy your hands on their naked body. Plus it is better for the other use of the lotion also (wink wink) Now go out and get those hand soft and ready.

Get out in the cold, so you can warm up together later.

Even though it is winter time for most of us there are still plenty of things for couples to do outside. You can always dress up really warm and go for a exhilarating walk in the cold air. Snow skiing is another way couples can pass the time outside and there are several forms you can participate in. Your normal down hill skiing, sledding, tubing, and cross country skiing are just a few activities that can get the two of you outside, with being able to be together. Building snowmen, making snow angels or just challenge the local kids to a snowball fight. Just make sure to dress warmly and enjoy each others company. Now after you spend all this time out in the cold air, you are going to need to warm up. What better way then to snuggle up together in front of the fireplace sipping hot cocoa while you touch each other. At this time of year nothing is more romantic then enjoying a warm fire with the person you want to be closest to.

Gifts?

I had a reader respond that they were a little miffed with their husband and the gifts they he purchases for her for their anniversary, birthday, and Christmas. Her concern was that she got things that were useful instead of things that were sentimental. I hate to generalize because everyone is different but most men like getting things that they will use such as sports equipment, tools, or electronic devices. This flows over into their own gift giving ideas, while you think a sweeper would be a horrible gift, in the typical man's mind a new sweeper would be great as it would help get things done better and faster. Men don't on the surface think about how sentimental gifts can be. Plus they don't listen very well when you are dropping hints. If you say "Oh I like that" as you pass something in the mall, he thinks you just kinda like the item and doesn't store it into his memory bank. Women if you want your man to really know what you like you need to be very straight forward. Lead them over to the item and make them look at it with you for a while, then say "That would make a lovely gift, I would love to have it someday" Now you man will store that as a direct gift to give you. Ladies watch how your man looks at things he wants to have, it is very clear when he wants something, you have to be that straight forward with him. Once you get him thinking about getting you presents that don't have a purpose then you might begin to see him branch out and start doing a better job of pick out presents on his own. One last note, when you do get something that you truly want, make a big deal about it, cry, jump up and down, hug and kiss him with passion because those are images he wants you to do when he gives you a gift. This will make sure the next time he goes out to get you a present, he will be looking for one that gets the same reaction. If a vacuum is what you really want however try to contain yourself when you open it because if you go crazy, you might just get a new model of vacuum every year.

New Years Resolutions

It is that time of year where we all start making our New Years resolutions. Most of us will be hoping to lose weight, get a new job, be better parents, etc. However this year you should also make a resolution to improve your relationship, no matter what shape it is in. There is always room for improvement. Maybe you can try something different in your sex life, or make more time for dates. Whatever you focus should be on during the upcoming year it should focus on making the two of you a better couple. Your resolution might be to take that trip the two of you have been wanting to take forever. If that is the case don't waste time start a savings plan for it today on New Years Day. Get outside the box and pick things that might not be your usual focus like making a resolution to take a cooking class together this year or maybe even a class on tantric sex. There are lots of things out there the two of you can look into but make a plan today New Years Day only happens once a year so make the most of it for the two of you.

Get out of bed on the RIGHT side!

I am sure you have all heard the expression, "I got up on the wrong side of the bed," but how can you make it work for your relationship. Well, my suggestion is to engage you partner right from the start of the morning by crawling over him/her to get out of bed. If you sleep naked, this is a wonderful good morning move that will surely get your partner to notice you as you are getting up. Make sure to rub your skin across his/hers as you slink across. Who knows you might even get pulled back into bed for a little more ways to wake yourselves up.

Share some Fantasies

A fun and exciting way to express your fantasies is through short stories. Even if you are not the best writer in the world you can still express your desires in this manner. Take a day and both of your write out a fantasy story making sure to take your time to express details. Use your imagination but make it something you would like to try or explore. Then once your have written your erotic fantasy exchange them for each other to read. Not only will this get you horny by reading a sexy story but it will also give you a glimpse into your partners fantasies. You don't know you might find something that you both are curious about but afraid to mention. If you are too embarrassed to write your own story, pick up a book of erotic and take turns reading it to each other. If you click the title of this post you will go to the amazon site that holds my first short erotica story. There are many erotic writers out their and each has a different style and message. I enjoy erotica of things that might happen in a normal relationship, things I can actually imagine happening between my partner and me. I think I enjoy this type of erotica because you can use it as a guide to building your own fantasies. However there are several great writers out there that can send you to the farthest reaches of your imagination. Check out Susie Bright's books if you want to venture out from your normal everyday style of life. Never under estimate the power of erotica for turning people on.

Learn to Juggle

If there is one thing you need to learn to do being in a relationship it is to juggle? Not balls or chainsaws but your schedule. Once you commit to a relationship the giving and taking begin. You now have to find time to fit things in your schedule that you might not have had to before you feel in love. The big one is spending time with your partner, this consumes a good portion of your waking and non working hours. This is when you have to start juggling the thing you would have normally done before you were in this relationship. Things like going out with friends, playing golf, going shopping just to name a few. These things might have to be combined with time spend with your partner to get them all in. One of the things I find challenging in a relationship is your time spent watching television. I don't watch a lot but there are a few things I love to view, the problem lies in juggling this. For instance on Monday night I like to watch the monday night football game while my partners favorite show is on at the same time, sounds like a problem, huh? Well here is where we both juggle, my football game usually last longer than her show so we watch hers but on commercials we flip to the game to watch a few minutes here and there and check the score. Once her show is over she sits and watches the rest of the football game with me. The problem isn't solved but it has be juggled to make the best of the situation. Now maybe you understand why I think being able to juggle is important in a relationship.