Ladies and Gentlemen Dr. Laura Berman

Not every sex educator is held in high esteem. However, for a couple I would suggest you check out Dr. Laura Berman website and books. I know what your thinking guys and that is she will side with the woman in every case. Don't be so sure, In what I have read up to this point Dr. Laura Berman is in this for the couple. She promotes sex and views it as a very important part of our relationships. She also gives some great tips on improving communication and trust. Yes she has books and her website is mostly designed for women. Let me tell you, I have found lots of usefull items in her writings. I have heard some complaints on her but for the most part everything she tries to indulge is on the up and up.

I definitely think if your relationship needs some help. Besides here you should pick up some of Dr. Berman's books, or check out her website. If you have an iPod with iTunes you can even download her show she did with Oprah. Dr. Berman gets my seal of approval and I think she is liberal enough for most straight monogamous couples. Outside of that in my opinion she could be a little more open. I have posted a link to her site in the title of this posts. So go and explore Dr. Berman's site together even if your relationship isn't in jeopardy, you can always use a refresher course.

Couples don't always fit together like puzzle pieces.

Did you think when you got into a relationship that was great everything would just fall into place. Did you think it would be like finding that last piece of puzzle that was a perfect fit. Well I am here to tell you that it doesn't work that way. Sure your life can be grand and you love your partner without a doubt. However, there are going to be things you just can't see eye to eye on. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be together it means you both have an opinion. I believe these differences are vital to a relationship. If you don't have things you disagree on in a relationship then in my opinion it becomes stale and boring. This is where we get to the fundamentals of a relationship. How do you handle these defences and still love each other. Well if the problem lies in what color paint to do the bedroom in your lucky. Things like how to raise the kids or actions you deem acceptable are very touchy. Patience and virtue are important if dealing with these disagreements. Conversation is the key and both parities need to express their opinions. Together is how you defeat these things you don't see on the same level. You might not be able to sway your partners opinion but you might be able to get them to see your position. That still might not get you on the same page but it might enlighten the subject and your view.

Relationships are constantly changing and you can look forward to that for the rest of your life!

Wake Up Call

Sometimes your plans for intercoarse just don't work out right. Either work schedules, kids or other events just don't let you participate when you would like to. When this happens to you give your partner permission to wake you up during the evening for some late night sex. Tell them it is okay to wake you up by massaging your genitals, this is a wonderful way to wake up. If you have to set your alarm for sex. No one says you can't have that setting on your alarm. This way of making love can really be a turn on, as it might feel like you are sneaking by meeting in the middle of the night. Make sure to get any toys or lubes close to the bed before hand so you don't have to stumble around in the dark.

Just beware sometimes it takes a little more foreplay to get someone ready for love making, when they are in a deep sleep. Sometimes it is the exact opposite and they are more ready to go when you wake them. If they are aware sex is coming they might even have some foreplay dreams the could get them warmed up. Again make sure your get or grant permission first so you don't get caught with your hand in the cookie jar.

Duet!

Have the two of you ever sang together? Maybe during karaoke or at home in the shower. It is a great way to burn off some steam and get a little closer. I am not talking about a serious song that you would want to record. Unless both of you are that good then by all means, go for it. But for most of us that only sound good to ourselves it can be quite fun. Put on some songs you both know and belt out the tunes. Remember our earlier post on making a play list for driving. Get those songs out and both of you pretend you are the famous singer that made those songs popular. Pass the pretend microphone back and froth or sing at the same time. Be silly, dance, and laugh. These are not only three great things for your health, they are great for your relationship, also. Do your best Mick Jagger, strut or Tina Turner's leg kicks, you might be surprised at how good the other one is. If you not any good at least only the two of you know it.

Photo courtesy of Invisible hour

Enjoy Breakfast together

Today's lifestyle is so hustle and bustle. Tomorrow I want you to start you day slower. If you have to wake up early then so be it. I want the two of you to enjoy breakfast together. Both of you sit down together to start your morning on the right foot. Talk about news or interesting things that happened at work. Hold hands while you consume your breakfast. Maybe even feed each other a little taste of what you are eating. Seldom do we start the morning the way we end it and maybe it's time we do. Do something simple for breakfast or even go to a local restaurant that offers sit down breakfast. Start you day by spending it with the one you love. It might just make your work day a little more bearable.

The Scarlet Letter

You may have had to read the book, The Scarlet Letter, at some point during your school years. If not, here is my brief over view. A woman commits adultery and has to wear a scarlet letter “A” on all her clothes. Mind you, we are not going to confess our sins on our clothing, but we are going to use it to tell our partner what we want. So start searching through your clothes for ones that have letters on them. If you don't have any with letters, then just go buy some cloth or foam letters at your local discount store. You can make variations to this by putting the letters on the headboard or on the mirror in the bathroom. Especially if you want this to remain a secret and not have other people asking why you are wearing letters on your clothes.

Before you pick your first letter you either need to make a master list of what each letter stands for, or slowly add letters to the first one during certain times of the day to spell out what you would like. You could even possibly text the letter using your phone to your partner. A master list could go as follows. D might mean you would like to have a nice DINNER out. W could mean you would like to take a WALK later. S might mean meet me later for SEX or HS could add to the suggestion as HOT SEX. Pick a specific day to try your scarlet letter activity and maybe do it once a month so that each of you gets a turn. Remember we are not branding you for sins here. We are creating ways for you to get what you need out of a relationship.

Relationships are give and take and it is unlikely that anyone truly wants to be on only the giving side. So start planning now what letter you will pick first. Will it be I, E, O, or U? Wait a second - I feel like I am stuck in a version of Wheel of Fortune. Quick buy a vowel and spin again.

One word of caution - make sure each of you knows what the letters stand for. Don't assume that your partner will know what that BJ stands for because you might end up with a BOWL of JELLO.

Passion Flavors (Click her to go to Good Vibrations Webpage)

Today with so many lubes and lotions out there you can find almost any flavor you like. Don't be shy about, this you should dive into finding out which flavors and brands work the best for the two of you. Do you want something that just tastes good for oral sex? of does it need to be more functional as a lube? Maybe you just want to lick it off your partner? You need to do some research on the subject. Don't use lubes that might have ingredients in them that could cause a reaction in the vagina. I would suggest you start your search at Good Vibrations. Good Vibrations is a company that takes great pride in not carrying things that might be harmful to your health. They really focus on the woman and her safety, which is good for both of you. I have embedded the link into the title post. Needless to say you must try something to know if you enjoy it. So get online order some of their products and if nothing else you will have fun trying to see which works and tastes the best. If chocolate is your passion they have pens for writing in chocolate on your partner or another interesting choice could be Devour Me Lickable Body Oil. The body oil comes in flavors that include mint, pina coloda, strawberry, and creme burlee. Make sure to tell them that the couples spot sent you if you order.

Your not shy when you go to Basken Robins and have to try different flavors of all the ice cream! So why should you be shy with your partner about tasting delicious flavors off of them.

Take a nap togehter

There is something special about falling asleep together. Next time you have nothing to do just snuggle down together. Pick a Sunday afternoon or any day you don't have an agenda and just take a nap together. There is comfort when you are in the arms of someone you love. A feeling of safety helps make this a great nap. For me one of the best parts of napping together is touching each other. Not to be out done is the great feeling you get when you wake up and see that special person that is in your life beside you.

Not a napper then let your partner take a nap while laying on you. Watch some sports or a show and just let them dream away. Let your hearts beat together for a while and enjoy the closeness. Caress their hair, rub their back, and hold them tight, because the everyday hustle and bustle of life will soon be back.

(Photo by Janesdead from flickr)

Lets gain some trust today.

Trust is an important part of any relationship. We understand that and when trust becomes an issue relationships seem to crumble. So today I suggest you try a trust building exercise. I want you to do one of your normal chores at home with a twist. I want you and your partner to do it together with the person that normally does the chore blindfolded. The other partner is to without touching you lead you through the chore by giving you instructions. Sounds difficult huh? Well with some practice you will gain trust in listening to your partner. I am sure a first you will think "I can do this blindfolded by myself, I've done it so many times" I am sure you will quickly find out you will need your partners help. Ah here lies the trust building. After you complete your task then it is time to reverse the situation. Now go find a chore you partner usually completes and you guide them.

This exercise will build trust and as an added bonus helps build team work in your relationship. Understand however your chores will take a little longer today. So don't get upset and make sure to laugh at the mistakes that happen. End the session with a thank you to your partner and a big kiss.

Role play may just be a name chage away!

Are you happy with your name? I hear so many people say I hate my name. Well my suggestion is to change it for a day. Pick a day when you and your partner are going out of town shopping or to eat, this helps avoid confusion with people that might know you. Then on your way to your destination decide on a name you would think you enjoy having. If your partner is game pick a name for them also. Then the rest of the day you have to call each other by that name. Yes it's silly but it might just help you step out of your normal personality and allow you to act differently then you usually act. The best part about it is, unless you run into people you know, no one knows the little secret the two of you have.

You could even make it your first date, between the two new people you have become. This is where a little role play might come in to the day. Make up information about you new identity and your background. Be outrageous as you tell your new partner about silly jobs you have had or dramatic events that have shaped your life. You might just find out some wishes your partner might have but be to embarrassed to say when they are their normal self. Who knows the names might even become pet names you use for each other.

Our life's are so busy and jammed with events, sometimes it is good to step outside of ourselves and see the world through someone else's eyes. Even if they are our eyes with just a different name attached.