Don't feel like sex, then be a fan.

You know not all the times do our libidos match up. Sometimes one of us is in the mood while the other isn't. It is not wrong if you don't want to have sex and your partner does. In the same way it is not wrong to want sex if you partner doesn't. Well what can you do to keep you both happy. If you are the person that doesn't want to have sex at this time, encourage them to masturbate in front of you so you can watch. This might sound a little unusual but it is a way for you to both get what you want. With different libidos we have to get creative so that neither one of you feel left out or pressured. Masturbation isn't cheating as some people would believe but it can be a very intimate act if you enjoy it together. Make sure to touch and watch to show your partner you care as the pleasure themselves. Afterwards you can cuddle as if you have both just had sex which will satisfy both of your desires. We have to be creative to overcome differences in libidos but with a little effort it can take on a life of it's own.

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Put your feelings in a journal for each other to read.

Here is a great way to let your partner know how you are feeling. Start a feelings journal that you can keep by your bed. What is a feelings journal?, you might ask. Well it is a little book where you write anything you would like your partner to know. It can be things that bother you, or the way they make you feel great, to even things you would like to discover or try. The subject matter can range between bills to sex. The point is the journal is a way to communicate things to each other. The way it works is you both set a time for you to write your feelings in the journal. Make these different time I would suggest a time where the two of you are apart and not only do you write your feeling in your feelings journal you read what you partner has wrote. A feelings journal is a great way to express to each other feelings that you might not be comfortable with just talking during your normal conversations. Now here is the kicker you don't ever confront you partner on what they wrote! You take it in put it in your mind, you can act on it later but you, never ever read their statement and go right out to confront them about it. I think once you get in the habit of writing and reading a feelings journal you will become closer. One last word of advise this is not a bashing journal if all you are going to do is write down things that upset you then you might as well throw the journal out the window now. Sure sometimes you will want to address something negative but most of the time it should be positive and build your relationship. Try it out I am sure you will enjoy it and it only takes a couple of minutes a day. Time well spent.

Sometimes you just have to let them sleep.

Our bedrooms are used mainly only for a couple of things. Sleeping is one of those things. We all have different sleeping patterns we discussed this in a post a couple of days ago about tucking your partner in. Well sometimes our partners are not ready to get up at the same time as we are. Maybe we went to bed earlier or we are just an early riser. If you are that early bird, here is a great chance for you to show how much you care about your love. Instead of snuggling up with them as you wake up and more or less waking them up, do the opposite. Slowly and quietly slip out of bed and let them sleep a while longer. I am sure you can find plenty to do while they finish getting the rest they require. You could exercise, read, write on you blog, or even put great smells in the air by starting some breakfast. Your partner will most likely be so glad to get that little extra slumber that they will search you out and give you a big hug, when they find you. Hugs are never a bad thing, unless it's a bear hug from a wild bear.

Keep your relationship strong and healthy.

Don't just put anything up there!

A vagina is a wonderful thing, it is amazing the amount of pleasure it can produce and take. However, you can't just be sticking anything up there. There is a ph balance that need to be kept at a normal level or optimal health. Introducing things that disrupt this balance can be harmful to our female partners. Infections can be caused by disrupting this balance and that is no fun for anyone. How can you avoid these painful mistakes? Well for starters don't stick anything up the vagina that is not designed to go up there. Food items should not be introduced into the vagina and even sex toys can be made of poor materials that are not good for the inner workings of our women. You vagina is designed to produce it's own lubrication so even lubrication should be checked out before you use it. Different women will have different effects so you can't just ask Sally what lube she uses, because you ph balance might not be the same as hers. So as you start to experiment with you sexuality make sure you are taking it slow and introducing things at a safe rate. Don't use 20 different things the first time you insert something into the vagina pick something and make sure it will work. When picking out something to use inside your vagina make sure the material it is made of is safe metal, glass or medical grade silicon can all be safe materials to use of insertion. We want you to loads of great fun sex but we also want you to be safe and cautious so that you can have lots more great fun sex.

Tuck em in!

It may sound a little silly but you need to tuck in your partner if they are the first one to go to bed. I know in my relationship my partner enjoys going to bed much earlier than I do. I enjoy staying up til the wee hours of the morning. My partner has tried this with me but it is just not to their liking. I have tried going to bed at the same time as my partner and it disrupts my whole day and night. In an effort to compromise each night that I am home, when my partner heads off to bed. I follow in like I am going to sleep with them I get in bed and spend at least 15 minutes with them as they fall asleep. This might seem a little strange but it gives us the bond at night time I hate to call it tucking them in but that is what is seems like. It is just that little security that comes from falling asleep with your partner. Once I feel like my partner is comfortable I quietly slip out of the room and continue my night. Spending those 15 minutes together in the peace of the night has made a wonderful routine for our relationship. Try it if you don't have matching sleeping styles it just might be what your relationship needs.

Silly awards could brighten someones day.

Do you remember anytime when you got an award and how special it made you feel. Maybe when you were a child and you won a running race and got a ribbon or when you were picked as employee of the month. This sense of accomplishment makes you beam with pride and even puts a little strut in your walk. Why not use this knowledge then to put that strut in your partners walk. Give them an award for general things they do within your life. Maybe you give them a ribbon for completing all the laundry in record time, or an award for putting the seat back down on the toilet. Make them sill and wonderful as you praise your partner with a little humor. Heck you can even make a crown and make them Queen/King of the dishes. Be as silly as you want, next time you make love get a score card has the number 10 on it and when you are finished hold it up as if a judge at a gymnastics competition at a little and give them a medal as you hum the national anthem. These are the type of things that breath life into your relationship and keep it from getting old. Start planning your award ceremony today and watch for that strut.

Get the clutter out of your house and relationship.

I am sure there are not many of you out there that can honestly say that you don't have any clutter around your house. Now start thinking the same way about your relationship, do you have clutter there? I can see all your eyebrows raising as you start to ponder. Don't think to hard about it just watch your daily activities and see if there is anything you classify as clutter. For example do you have pictures of the two of you doing fun stuff together just laying around the house or in a drawer somewhere? Get them out make a scrapbook of the ones you love and get rid of the rest of the pictures. Do you have items that you picked up during your relationship that are sentimental or remind you of special times, shoved in a closet or the back of the cabinet? Take a picture of them put it in your scrap book and get rid of them. Make a collage of these pictures and hang it on your wall. Do you have sexy sleepwear that you never wear? Put it on and take a picture for you mate and then make a special box for it with items you use for sex and store them there. We hold on to things way to long that we don't use for sentimental reasons. I am sure you could get about two or three big boxes and fill them with stuff you are keeping because they hold sentiment value but haven't seen the light of day in years. Record them digitally on pictures and toss them away. This way you will probably see them more often as you flip through your scrap book.

Spin off site coming soon.

With the success of THE COUPLES SPOT we wanted to try to do a little more in the area of relationship improvement. Thus we are getting prepared to start a more direct relationship help site. The difference between this and other sites is that we are going to start strengthening your relationship, marriage, or partnership before troubles arise. We want to build immunity to those things that ruin relationship. Much like exercise helps the body avoid health issues. You can check out the start of or progress by clicking here - ZOB ALEX - PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP TRAINER I hope that you will check it out and give it a try we are about a month away from full launch so check in often and let us know what you think.

We could also use any questions you might have or areas of discussion you might want to bring up on the site. You can email your questions to me at thecouplesspot@gmail.com and I will be happy to respond to them.

How much focus do you put in your relationship?

Do you put much focus in your relationship? Are you always looking for things to make it better or are you like the millions that just let it happen. Well I am here to tell you that if you think your relationship just gets better with age, you are wrong. If you talk to couples that have great relationships you will find a common factor they are always looking for something to challenge or inspire their relationship. It might be a new activity for them to share or a trip to a different location. Experimenting with intimacy or finding different date ideas can make your relationship keep that spark that it had in the beginning. You should think about your relationship everyday because it is a constant living breathing part of your life. Even if it is a little as making sure to give that special kiss before leaving for work. Our relationship is the basis for all our happiness when you have a great relationship and it thrives the rest of your life will follow. So put your relationship at the top of your list today and everyday.

What questions are you asking?

Relationships are give and take and they will always be that way. However I see many couples that don't want to explore each others worlds. We want to tell them about the wonderful or awful things that happen to us but how often do we ask them about things? What is your first course of actions in the morning? Do you ask your partner if they slept well or if they had any exciting dreams? When you get home from work what are your first words? The should be, "How was your day?" or "Anything exciting happen today" Demand that your partner tell you about their excitement and their happenings even if they are boring. Hopefully then they will return the favor, this sparks so much conversation in your relationship and it shows that you really care about them. Resist the urge to jump in and start telling your story until they ask about it and if you can't wait just make sure to ask about their day after you are finished. We want to know that our beloved want to know about what we are doing it makes us know that they are thinking about us during the day.