Checkbook

One of the most common fights couples have is about money. There never seems to be enough money when you are trying to budget for two or a whole household. Yes we have to set boundaries and budgets yet we also have to have a little freedom. My feelings are that you need to have one checkbook that takes care of your household bills, car payments, insurance, etc. That way the both of you can oversee the finances. This checkbook should stay at the house never to leave. If you need to use it for groceries, or outside purposes, get a debit card. Neither partner should carry this checkbook around with them. That is set in stone, both of you know exactly where that checkbook is at all times. You can designate one or both of you to pay the bills as they come in.

Now here is where I side track from most people. I think that both partners should also have either their own checking account or at least a preloaded debit card. Why? you might ask. Because we all have things we would like to purchase that we don't want to have to ask the other partner if it is okay. Set a predetermined amount to deposit in these accounts each pay period and then hands off the others account. This will allow them to save for things they might want to purchase or to buy you presents for anniversaries, birthdays, or other holidays. We use to keep all our money in one pot and it made if very difficult to purchase an anniversary present for my wife. Either I would ask her for a certain amount of money and then I had to answer 20 questions as to why I needed it. If I didn't get approval first the checkbook would show the deed anyway. Then I would be answering questions like "Why did you write a check to Victoria's Secret the other day" Thus my surprises where always blown.

If you decide to do this you cannot judge the other person on what they buy with their budgeted amount. For instance if you partner saves their money and purchases a $250 ipod. You cannot say "We could have used that money to buy this or that" They have made the effort and sacrificed other things to get this item. Make an effort to understand their purchase, usually most people have a reason to buy something. This technique also helps out if one of you is a classic over spender. Now they are limited to only the amount in their checking account, while the other remains off limits to both partners.

Relationships are tough enough but throw in money problems and they become even tougher. This ours, mine and yours technique gives everyone a little variance and a chance to purchase things without getting approval from the relationship committee. Lastly just to add don't make these individual accounts with credit cards that can be a nightmare only use accounts where you deposit money and that is all you can withdraw.

Click on the title line of this post and go to Oprah's website that gives you more information on finances for couples.

The Chase

Here’s a fun little game you can play with your partner. I like to call it “the chase”, and basically it is just like the game you used to play on the playground during recess. You take turns being the one that is the chaser and the one who is being chased. However, now that you are adults, or are at least pretending to be an adult, the game becomes a little more intriguing. During recess you used to be confined to the limits of the playground, but now that you are older you have the run of everywhere. You can use all your modern devices. The person that is getting chased sets up the game by picking out a place to meet or an activity to accomplish. He/she gives the other person clues to where he/she is. Sound interesting? Well, it is. For example, if you want to meet your partner at a special restaurant, you might call him/her on his/her cell phone and tell him/her clues as to your whereabouts. Make it interesting by leading him/her through your town. Maybe you will have them stop and pick you up flowers or something special for later in the evening. You can use note cards if you like, but then you always are wondering if the other person is on the right track. If you are connected with a cell phone at least if they get lost you can call them up and laugh at them.

Another version of this would be if you’re out of town and don't know the area you are in. You might find a special attraction in the area and just leave your lover a card with an address on it that they can plug into his/her GPS. I can feel my adrenaline rushing just thinking about some of the adventures you can have with this game. Be creative and use all the new technology available to you, such as your cell phone, GPS, walkie talkies, digital cameras, laptop computers, etc. If it can send a message, you can use it. You don't even have to venture out of your house to enjoy this game. Say you want to have an intimate evening with your partner. You could dress up in some beautiful lingerie or sexy boxers and hide somewhere in your house. Set your phone on silent and send your partner clues via text messaging. Eventually leading him/her to the prize, which is you! You could use it for a surprise birthday party too. Get all of your friends involved, and have them send your special someone a barrage of messages. Get lost in a crowd and use your text messaging to have your favorite someone find you. Send your wife/husband video clips of you at some of the places you went on dates at in the past. Challenge your partner by making the clues a little difficult. You could even use life lines if they can't figure some of your clues out.

The object of this game is to build anticipation and to get your partner stirred up about what is about to happen to you two. This diversion takes some time and planning to make it work out. But, if you lay the plan out right, the results can take you and your partner through the roof.

Be sure to charge up all your electronic devices and use your technology to spice up your day.

Lets focus on Nipples. (Specific Blog page dealing with nipple play)

I think we all understand that the nipple is an erogenous zone. I mean just touch your own and you can tell it is sensitive, unless you have had some sort of problem in the past. I want the two of you to put more focus on the nipple the next time you are intimate. I want you to go all out, so start making some notes and plan accordingly. Definitely use your mouth on your partners nipple, but don't just use your mouth. Get some toys or props to help get your partners nipples has hard as you can. Vibrators are not just for the lower part of the body, they can be great nipple stimulator, also. Oils and lubes are another of the products you probably have on your headboard that can arouse a nipple very fast. If you have ones that heat up, that is always a nice sensation to feel. Get some ice cubes and have a frosty nipple, just make sure you warm it back up. You also need to find out what your partner can take in nipple play. Do they like them to be pulled on hard, or squeezed, some people like them nibbles on or bit. Preferences can change from day to day also so be prepared their is not a master plan. You can also try different food items on the nipple to be licked off such as honey, chocolate, whip cream, or even fruit slices. I know I am going to get a lot of flack about making sure not to forget about the rest of the breast. I know that it is important also but, this time I want you to only focus on the nipple. Make it a nippalicous day.

As I am writing this I realize that I haven't made one thing clear. I want to make a point this is for both men and women, both of your nipples are meant to be played with. So ladies do the same for you men as you would like them to do for you. I have heard of people being able to get off from nipple play. I however don't think I could ever ejaculate because of nipple stimulation but I do love the sensation.

Clicking on the title will take you to a page with more specific forms of nipple play.

Enjoy your nipples!

Affection in front of the kids (ewww yuck!)

Something that I think needs to be done in your relationship is to let your children know you are in love. Show each other affection in front of them. Now I am not talking about getting down and dirty. Save that for the bedroom or any other room as long as the little ones are asleep. However, let your young children know it is okay for the two of you to touch each other and be affectionate with each other. I don't ever remember seeing my parents touch, kiss or hold hands when I was growing up. I think that without such a vision in a young child’s mind he/she might think that it is not to be done. Or he/she may grow up to believe you shouldn't show that you care about someone in front of other people. It may sound crazy, but I can see this leading to a lot of problems in a relationship. Keeping the fact that you are attracted to each other away from your children gives them a different idea of what a relationship is! I think of all the domestic abuse in this country, and how many children see that. Far too often that child grows up to think it is okay or the norm.

Well, what if we reverse that? What if a child sees his/her daddy kiss his/her mommy or hold hands with her? Don't you think that will help a child grow up knowing that a relationship should be nurturing. Young children love to imitate their parents. Let’s start showing them how to care about one another. Heck maybe even someone else’s kids will see you holding hands or quickly kissing each other goodbye and see that is okay. From time to time your child might walk in on you during a little more intimate situation (come on you know what I mean- sex), and I think one thing that is important and maybe a little hard to do is not jump up right away like the two of you are doing something wrong. If you can slowly move apart and address the young child’s needs then explain to them that mommies and daddies need time alone together, you just might help them deal with similar situations when they are adults.

Be up front with your children in regards to love and relationships. Not only will they understand it better, but you will definitely help them out later in life. So many relationship problems and sexual problems can be traced back to parents. Don't be the one that makes your son feel like kissing his wife is wrong or the one that makes your daughter feel like sex is dirty. Use the right words and explain when they are curious and their future partners will thank you!

The Hook Up (We like to call it Lunch)

The work days can seem long and tiring. I suggest, if possible, that you take time out of your work day to have lunch with each other as often as possible. I understand sometimes it is just impossible as work schedules might not match up or the logistics might be to far out of the way. If that is the case make sure to find days when you or your partner are off work and plan out a lunch for the two of you. You don't have to go to an expensive restaurant. You can even through a picnic together to eat in the park, nearest to your workplace. The point is the little extra effort helps show your partner that you would love to be spending more time with them, and that you will take a little bit here and a little bit there. Always be understanding if you call your partner up to surprise them by meeting them for lunch, because they might not be able to attend lunch with you on that day. Never make your partner feel bad because they were unaware you were wanting to spend lunch together. If this happens make arrangements for dinner, when you get home. Always have a back up lunch planned. Sometimes lunches need to be cut short so don't expect your partner to be able to spend an hour at lunch at the spur of the moment. When you finally get to lunch make sure to spend the time with each other not on your cell phone or complaining about the plumber, that only leads to stress. Put your phone on silent, and talk about your interests or how their work day is going. If you find yourself wondering what to say, bring a few old photos of your past vacations and remember those days over your lunch.

I understand the purpose for lunch is to eat but it can also be an enjoyable time to spend with your significant other.

Opening Doors

I thing something that gets a little lost as a relationship goes on is manners. I am going to focus this topic for the men. Gentlemen, when is the last time you opened the car door for you partner? Do you hold the house door open for them? I found myself not doing this about a year ago in our relationship, and I thought to myself "why don't I do that anymore?" I didn't have a good excuse so I began doing it whenever I could. My wife sure did notice. So guys get your buts out of the car a little quicker and open some doors for you sweety. I is a simple thing that goes a long way in a relationship.

Happy Birthday to Me! - Share the love

If you can't tell by the title line today is my birthday. I love celebrating birthday and it doesn't matter if it's mine or my wife's or our kids. I love making the cakes, hoping to get the right gifts. It's just all so exciting to me. I think the main reason for this feeling in me is that it is an excuse to show someone how much you care about them. I'm as guilty as the next person in over spending on the holidays and birthdays. But there are several gifts that I would enjoy getting that don't hardly cost anything. A basic card is always nice and you can get one of the at your local discount store for usually under a dollar, or you can make your own. Another great idea is just take me on a walk, hold my hand and lets just walk and talk. Rent my favorite movie and share some popcorn with me while we watch it. These are all great ideas that don't cost over $5 and would make me very happy.

However, my favorite birthday present that would come from my partner would be a night of great sex. Sound selfish, maybe but after all it is my birthday. After all the cake and guest are gone, I want to know how special I am to my partner. Again this won't cost you an arm or leg. Don't make it your normal sex night do something different. Find something that maybe you wouldn't do every time you make love and perform that act on your partner for their birthday or a special occasion. Some ideas might be wearing a costume or a little role playing. Maybe there is something you partner love that you do and it's not your favorite. Well do it on their birthday, think about it that way you only have to do it on that special occasion and it will seem that much more special to your partner. Another idea might be to branch out a little search the Internet or pick up a book on sex that breaks from the norm a little. Be adventurous maybe tie your partner up, or use a sex toy on them, or even try a different position. You can find books and information on anything you want to try at Amazon or by searching the Internet. Just make sure after you perform what every action you decide on your partner, to say "Happy Birthday." Who knows maybe that was their wish when they blew out their candles.

Sample my food

Next time you venture out to a restaurant try this little number. Look over the menu and pick two entries that you would both like to try. Then order both and let the sampling begin. The only rule is you cannot get food off the other persons plate! You must have them cut it and feed it to you. This is a great exercise for getting in touch with each other. You can also do this with finger food, which ends up being supper sexy for the both of you. Click on the title line of this post to few a finger foods page so that you can start feeding each other at home.

For an even greater experience pick to dinners that are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Like pick one dish that is spicy and one that is sweet. The combination of the two will keep your tast buds guessing.

Music Time - and time to get out of the soneage(Click here to download itunes)

I hope if your reading my blog here that you are pretty well versed with today's technology. Obviously you have a computer and I hope you have an ipod or another portable music device. If not go out to the store and get one today! My post today if about getting some great music for the two of you to listen to together and with an ipod it is so much more easy to do that then ever.

Let me start with asking you how many times do you get in the car for a trip and you have to decide who's music your going to listen to as you drive. We usually make it so the driver gets to choose the music. Well I want to suggest the two of you getting together to find songs that you both enjoy listening to. With the ipod it's very simple to download songs and you can even created different play list so that when you are not together you can listen to that music that only you like. So we are going to make the play list that you both like. You have to sit down together at the computer and pick an era or music style you both enjoy. iTunes will have an essentials list of the music from that ear or style. Next you and your sweety just go down the list and pick the songs you both love. Nix any that one of the partners doesn't like. This in itself can be fun seeing if you remember the songs and can name the artists. Now the next time you both get in the car to travel won't it be nice when you both can sing to the same song and enjoy it. It will make your trip so much better.

One word of caution ipods are addictive, so if possible you might want to get two or I might have to do a post on how not to fight over the ipod.

Aphrodisiac is not someone scared of afro's (Click here to find out more)

An Aphrodisiac is defined as a substance that increases sexual desire. I have seen countless lists of items that people claim increase sexual desire. I must admit I am a little skeptical of these list. I believe that some items might trigger a reaction in people. However I also believe that everyone is different and that their is no master list of aphrodisiacs. I for example cannot stomach oysters yet many people claim that they have magical aphoristically powers. When I eat them I usually end up running to the restroom to spit them out. Again I believe they might work for some people, but for me they do not. So my suggestion to you is to try several things and see what works best for you two. Spicy foods seem to get me a little hot under the collar. Click on the above title line to go to Wikipedia's page on aphrodisiacs, they have a list of herbs and foods that claim to work. Just go down the list and try each one at least the trying part could be fun. Sometimes just a thought put into your mind is enough to trigger a reaction, that could make you a little hot and bothered.